Marriage as a Covenant

Covenant Marriage: Remove your 'Rights' Hat; Put On your 'Responsibility' hat
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 3 Feb 2010

Last Sunday I spoke in Church about marriage, in particular Christian marriage. I was pleasantly surprised at the numbers that turned out. There were even visitors from outside the Church who came. Several people later came up to me to ask for more of such sessions. The high level of interest about marriage confirms in my mind that marriage, despite its challenges, remains one of the most treasured institutions in church and I dare say, society at large. One can find numerous books about marriage in nearly any library. Preparing for the talk in Church gives me an opportunity to research, learn and consolidate what I know about marriage. This week, I like to share one profound truth about marriage. Marriage is a covenant. This covenant has two parts. Firstly, marriage as a covenant means we remove our 'rights' hat, and secondly, we put on our 'responsibilities' hat.


1) Removing our 'Rights' Hat

This is one of the most profound truths that I have learned. We live in a world where people insist on their right to have things their own way. We have a right to be hired without discrimination of any kind. Citizens have a right to vote. The American Freedom Declaration enshrines the 'pursuit of happiness' as a right of every national. Even criminals when they are arrested need to have their rights read to them. Rights are especially important when it comes to getting things done anywhere. In fact, when we refuse to exercise our rights, sometimes we risk being bullied or ignored. Customer service officials tend to pay more attention to people who protest loudly, rather than people who accept their predicament meekly. Insisting on rights is very much a way of life in our society.If marriage is written as a contract, like many Hollywood movie stars, there is always money and compensation arranged in kind, a so-called prenuptial agreement. The wealthier one gets, the greater the likelihood of such a self-protective agreement.

For the ordinary folk, having lived a whole day in a culture of rights, the moment we return home to our marriages, we invariably carry with us this 'rights' insistence. We bring home such a mindset that we unconsciously and unwittingly apply these 'rights' expectation onto our marriages. The problem is, when a husband insist on his rights, and the wife insist on hers, we have a standoff that strains marriages slowly but surely. Our marriage suddenly becomes more 'contractual' rather than 'covenantal.'

Marriage as a covenant means one does not live for oneself for own's sake. Once, a Regent professor I know, was traveling in Europe with his wife on their 40th anniversary. When a monk living on the mountains knew about it, he said to them: “Mamma Mia! 40 years of martyrdom.” Indeed, this monk realizes the truth of what marriage means. Marriage is a kind of martyrdom that essentially means dying to self.

You may be questioning what kind of a credibility monks have, since they are pledged to celibacy. Let me then remind you that Christian monks are in a sense 'married,' to the cause of Christ. (I am referring to those monks who have pledged their lives to celibacy.) They love the Church and they love the Lord Jesus. They learn to love as Christ loved. Thus, we can learn from these monks, that our love in marriage ought to be like the way Christ loved the Church. 

Marriage as a covenant means we are no longer ourselves. We are in a new relationship. Scriptures have a very special way of describing our marriage state.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Gen 2:24, NIV)

'Becoming one flesh' means we are no longer our own. We belong to the marriage. It is no longer 'my' marriage, but 'our' marriage. When a spouse is celebrating or hurting, both spouses are affected. Becoming one flesh means that we give up our individual rights to be self-satisfied. It is no longer my rights or your rights. Far too many books have been written about marriage techniques, and how to resolve differences. However, very few books talk about recognizing the meaning of dying-to-self when it comes to marriage. I do not mean denying our own personal identity. That is self-debasement, which is non-scriptural, and spits on the very value God has given to each of us. Martyrdom in marriage means voluntarily giving up our rights. Marriage as covenant means we give up the right to insist that our spouse:

• Anticipate all of our needs according to our whims and fancies;
• Behave in a certain way;
• Cater to our moods;
• Do things to our satisfaction;
• Engage us when we want to be engaged.
• ......

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. When we see marriage as a contract, we are insisting on a set of rights. When we see marriage as a covenant, we lay aside our 'rights' so that we can put on another hat, the hat of responsibility. This requires humility, and a willingness to love one another, like Christ.

2) Putting ON the 'Responsibility' Hat

One of the things I shared last Sunday is 'Mind Your Own Verses.' In Paul's epistle to the Ephesians, he writes to wives that they ought to submit themselves to their husbands, as in the LORD (Eph 5:22). It is specifically addressed to wives, and not meant for husbands to use this as ammunition against their wives. Likewise, Paul writes to husbands to love their wives, the same way Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). It is not meant for wives to use the verse in order to hold their husbands to ransom. In a nutshell, the message is “Husbands and wives, mind your own verses.”

The way to do this in marriage is to put on the hat of responsibility. This requires a willing heart, and an intentional mind. Wives need to willingly put on their hat of responsibility. Husbands need to willingly put on their hat of responsibility. Wives need to ask: “What can I do or say to be the best wife I can be?” Husbands need to ask: “What can I do or say to be the best husband to my wife?”

At the same time, wives can also say to themselves:

• “How can I help my husband become the best person he can be?” 
• "If my husband is hurting, how can I play my part at healing?" 
• "Have I prayed for my husband today?"

Husbands too, can say to themselves:

• “How can I help my wife become the best person she can be?”
• "If my wife is hurting, how can I play my part in healing?"
• "Have I prayed for my wife today?"

The hat of responsibility means that each spouse:

• Be responsible to communicate fairly and appropriately;
• Be responsible to be the best husband or wife first;
• Be responsible to correct one another in love;
• Be responsible to control oneself, and not be too eager to correct others;
• Be responsible to fulfill the other persons's needs;
• Be responsible to celebrate joyous occasions;
• Be responsible to protect the partner when the partner is vulnerable.
• the list can go on.....

C) Final Words
A marriage as a covenant has one additional uniqueness. It is done regardless of what the spouse does or does not do. In other words, regardless of how many percent the husband gives to the marriage, the wife will give her 100% always. Likewise, regardless of how many percent the wife gives to the marriage, the husband will give his total commitment of 100%. A marriage seen contractually is never like this. A marriage as a contract means that the moment one party fails to do as promised, the other can freely withhold his or her end of the bargain. Marriage as a covenant is entered into willingly, not forcibly.

My brothers and sisters, especially those who are married, learn to differentiate the hats you wear. When you relate to others, perhaps you need to maintain and keep your hat of 'rights.' However, when you return home to your spouse, remove your hat of 'rights' and put on your hat of 'responsibility.' In marriage, do not talk about your rights. Practice your responsibilities first. For in marriage, we are talking more about responsibilities rather than rights. In marriage, we live and we love not by feelings, but by vows voluntarily and freely made. Live as people of responsibility, not as people insisting on their rights.

Finally, I know many of us are busy people. What if we 'forget' to remove our rights hat? Let me suggest we remember the following, 'Covenant Marriage Bill of Rights' and practice them responsibly.

1. I have the right to encourage you daily. I have the right to build you up, not tear you down.
2. I have the right to affirm you every time you succeed.
3. I have the right to encourage you every time you win or lose.
4. I have the right to comfort you when you hurt.
5. I have the right to protect you when you are attacked.
6. I have the right to pray for you without ceasing.
7. I have the right to defend you from every weapon formed against you.
8. I have the right to esteem and honor you.
9. I have the right to pick you up when you fall.
10. I have the right to speak life to you.
11. I have the right to love you unconditionally.
12. I have the right to respect you in front of others.
13. I have the right to find out your needs and meet them and to diagnose your hurts and heal them.
14. I have the right to serve you at any time.
15. I have the right to ask God to give you wisdom. I have the right to bless you.
    
    [Credit: www.2equal1.com - (http://bit.ly/9q3RvY)]

Thought: Marriage as a covenant means: 'For better or for worse. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health, till death do us part.'

sabbathwalk

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Becoming Good News People First

TITLE: BECOMING GOOD NEWS PEOPLE FIRST
AUTHOR: Conrade Yap
DATE: 26 Jan 2010

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)

A) Which Comes First? Speak the Good News or Live the Good News?

Nanette Sawyer was raised in rural New York. He attends a traditional church which to him, teaches a form of theology that is ‘shame-based.’ Like many churches, the minister there insists that he ‘had to believe’ in order to be a Christian. Despite not understanding what some of the doctrines mean, he decides to consciously make a decision for Christ, in order to be accepted into the Church. While this is a normal thing to do for most people, Sawyer feels that such an approach addresses more of the ‘letter’ rather than the ‘spirit’ of the Christian belief. He never truly understands the meaning of what a Christian means, until he encounters Wicker Park Grace church.

“I started showing up at that church on Sundays. This church was so different from the church of my childhood, because they welcomed me without asking for my Christian ID card, so to speak. They just welcomed me, pure and simple. They preached and lived a message of grace, emphasizing that we are all beloved children of God. Eventually, I was baptized in that church and felt my call to the ministry of Word and Sacrament in that church.” – Nanette Sawyer, Chicago. 

(Eddie Gibbs & Ryan Bolger, Emerging Churches, Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2006, 302)

Sawyer’s story is increasingly common among people who have left traditional churches to discover the grace of God in non-traditional places. From a nominal Christian environment that insists on a ‘Christian ID’ before anything else, he feels a special acceptance by a community of believers who sees the ‘person’ before the ‘profession.’ Such a treatment is liberating for people who feels overly controlled by structure and tradition.

B) First Things First

Lest I be misunderstood, I am not saying that structure and tradition are unimportant or irrelevant for our contemporary age. It is simply that they must not come before the need to care and love people. In fact, traditions and structures are extremely important and are crucial for the church identity, to bear the testimony of Christ for the long haul. The difference is in terms of recognizing the spirit behind the letter. If we are not careful, we can become bearers of the message of Christ, without truly being converted by the Spirit of God. John writes,

“We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

Taking this perspective from John, we cannot truly love another, until we have been loved. With Christ having first loved us, we can then share this love with people around us with grace and humility. If our jug is empty, how can we pour water for the thirsty? If our fridge is bare, how can we prepare food for the hungry? Likewise, if we are not filled with the good news first, empowered by the Holy Spirit, how can we proceed to share the good news with others? In other words, my main point for this week is that we are to be ‘Good News People’ inside before we can learn to share the Good News to people outside. Our external works that demonstrate Christ's love can be more powerful than our human words. It is easy to preach the gospel in words, but it takes a real authentic disciple of Christ to preach the gospel in real life.

C) The Problem of External Facade

Our society places too much premium on the external to the detriment of the internal. Look at the fashion industry. People need to look good on the outside so as to make a good first impression. From interviews to social outings, adding make-up turns an ordinary pauper into an extraordinary prince. Very subtly, it creates in people a kind of thinking that external looks can lead to internal satisfaction. Yet, there are beautiful women who end up in terrible marriages. They are handsome men who attract all the wrong attention. There are successful career people, achieving a lot in the office, but fails miserably at home. External façade may dress up weaknesses for a little while. Like the famous fairy tale, at the stroke of midnight, beautifully dressed Cinderella turns back into a poor girl in ugly clothes. Looking good on the outside does not mean we are automatically good on the inside. Just ask the executives of Enron prior to their financial collapse.

D) Becoming a Good News Person: Journey of Inside-Out Growth

What does it take to be a Good News Christian first before we can share the good news? In other words, how do we live an ‘inside-out’ life as opposed to an ‘outside-in’ culture? Let me propose a three-step grace process. It is easy to embrace Stage #1, not so easy to practice stage #2, even more difficult to live out Stage #3. Look at the graph below. Let me make 3 observations.

Firstly,all of us can receive the grace of God freely without reservation and without conditions. Grace is free of charge, and not tied to any rules and regulations. Grace has no conditions. We need to acknowledge that we are sinners, and no matter what we do, we cannot save ourselves. We need God. We need to be forgiven in Christ. It is because all of us have sinned and fall short of God's glory, we all need the grace of God (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Stage #1: Many receive grace; It is easy to receive grace.

Secondly, we demonstrate our state of being saved by grace, by learning to be gracious to others. There is a strange unbalanced equation going on. The richer a society gets, the less gracious it tends to be. I remember in my mission trip to the rural mountains. People there have very little but they share all they have. On my return home to the city, people have a lot, but are miserly in many ways. I cannot help but think of the New Testament Church whose members share freely and readily with one another in spite of the little they have. We do not need a lot of things in order to be gracious to one another. What we need is a lot of heart. 

There is someone who appears constantly to be in a state of need. All year round, this person will be claiming that the world around her is unfair, and she is constantly helpless. It is easy to accuse her of being overly self-centered. Yet, when I think of God, I remember that all of us are under grace. God alone has such a big heart, that he meets the needs of every single person. God too chooses to show grace to this person, despite the constant complaining and self-centered behaviour. Yet, God has a big heart. Who are we to judge this person?

All of us are needy people. All of us need grace. What we need to be reminded is that having a big heart is more important than having big gifts. Sometimes, rich people can have extremely small hearts. A big heart covers a multitude of suspicions and sins. A big-hearted Christian is what I call a ‘Good-News Person.’ A big-heart Christian understands what grace is all about. A gracious society is only possible if the people have big hearts.

Stage #2: Some people grow. Their growth is evident through gracious living.

My third observation has to do with the most advanced stage of the journey: #3 Sacrificial Love. This final step is perhaps the most difficult step. It is the epitome of what grace means. Living a life of true grace involves humility and at times the call to suffer. 

God led by example. When God gives grace to us, he does not simply command others to do it. He could have ordered angels and celestial beings to do his work. Yet, He chooses to send his Son, Jesus Christ down, at a personal cost and painful loss. Grace according to God is free for us, but very costly for him. Thus, as a Good-News person, while we receive grace freely, and to show graciousness in big-hearted ways, let us remember that true grace may require some element of suffering. A brother in Christ once said about true giving, at a fund-raising seminar, filled with rich and successful people. “Give until it hurts.” Ouch.

It reminds me of the rich young man who asks Jesus what is necessary for eternal life.

Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. (Matthew 19:21-22)

Stage #3: Very few people suffer (or willing to suffer). Sacrificial giving and living is a mark of a true disciple

It is necessary to become a Good News person before we start sharing the Good News. Perhaps, one of the reasons why we find it difficult to speak the gospel, is because we are still unchanged on the inside? The word ‘gospel’ also means good news. This is the essence of what a Christian life means. It must mean something to the person inside before he can share with people outside.

E) Final words

We need to become ‘good-news people’ before we share the good news with others. For all, including young believers, receive the grace of God freely without reservation (Stage #1). As we grow in age and maturity, let our lives be turned into gracious living, to freely share the love of God through our giving, our caring and our loving of one another, even strangers. Grow into God's likeness by being big-hearted with our possessions, putting people before things (Stage #2). Finally, remember that the grace we receive is not free. It costs us nothing but God everything, through his Son Jesus Christ. Thus, in wanting to be good-news people, are we ready to suffer for Christ, when the calling comes (Stage #3)? The choice is up to you. Like the rich young man who turns away from Jesus because he has many possessions, will we follow Christ to give up worldly entanglements, or to follow the world in pursuit of more entitlements? The choice is really yours.

sabbathwalk

“You have to love them first. You can’t serve people whom you can’t love. I’m so emotionally involved with them. I’m in love with them, and it has been only eight months. I pray for them because I love them, That for me is huge! It is something I saw in Mother Teresa. I love them and then serve them, not because it is one of the five purposes of our church either.” – Joe Boyd.

(Gibbs & Bolger, Emerging Churches, 146)

Thought: It is easy to SAY we are Christians, even preach to others to become Christians. It is not so easy to let our lives speak Christianly, that when they see us, they too 'want' to become like Christ.

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

The Better Way

Title: The Better Way

Author: Conrade Yap (20 Jan 2010)

“"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:42)

One of the hardest things to experience is to be an unknown. I remember a time when I was doing cold-calls to new customers in my sales portfolio. At one famous firm, the gatekeeper to the CEO, a secretary curtly says to me: “I don’t even know you.”  Earnest pleas simply fall on uninterested ears. No matter what I say or show, nothing can convince the secretary to let my team meet the big boss. Being an unknown in any industry is tough. Nobody knows you. Nobody wants your products. Small unknowns begin with a serious disadvantage compared with giant corporations with offices worldwide. Big doors remain shut to unknown midgets like me. Many things of this world belong to the rich and the famous, or the well connected.

Facing Rejection

In contrast, when we start throwing big names we are associated with, people pay attention. In the public arena, this is the common practice. An unknown author co-writes a book with a famous name and the book sells by the thousands. An unknown actor become famous when associated with an Oscar winner. An unknown product gets the publicity when endorsed by a rich celebrity.

Another way to avoid rejection is to work in a famous company. I remember among my MBA friends, that one of the most sought after jobs are in the investment banking industry and management consulting companies.  Just becoming an intern in a blue chip firm like Accenture (formerly Anderson Consulting) or any of the Big 4  (used to be at least 8) accounting firms is a ticket to professional stardom. I remember trying for one but fail to get beyond the first interview. Facing rejections is one of the hardest pills to swallow. On hindsight, I think I may have given myself too much big-headed pride to even expect to get a shot at the rich-and-famous. It is simply not for me.

In times like these, I take refuge in knowing that someone will always accept me. Of course my family will stick with me regardless. I know friends who are willing to put aside their fame and big celebrity status, to shake hands with a small unknown like me. For a reject like me, simply being accepted is a big achievement already. People who work with children with disabilities share that there is a public misconception that disability is a disease. In fact, people with disabilities are not exactly asking for a cure. The majority simply asks for something simple: Acceptance. Acceptance is a path toward the better way. We begin to address rejection by first accepting ourselves, and to know that the LORD accepts us as we are.

Martha and Mary

I have preached on this famous Martha-Mary story before. After my sermon, a lady in the congregation actually came up to thank me for giving her a new insight to this old familiar passage. I was talking about NOT comparing busy Martha with contemplative Mary.  It is in desiring Jesus, regardless of our Marthalike-state or Marylike-behavior. Like what many adults will say: “There is no right or wrong answer.” My point then was Jesus accepts us as we are. It is not what we ‘do’ that interests him. It is who we are that attracts him. Jesus looks at the heart. In other words, the story is not about choosing a contemplative lifestyle over a busy lifestyle. It is about choosing Christ, regardless of our busy or contemplative moods. In other words, the key at the foot of Christ is to begin WHERE WE ARE. It is in feeling accepted. The better way is the way of acceptance. Mary chose the better way, to be accepted as she is in Christ.

Martha seeks to find acceptance through the many household chores she do. When she realizes that she is the only one doing them, instead of speaking to Mary directly, she talks past her sister to ask Jesus to ‘tell’ her sister to help her. There is a tinge of unhappiness that Mary is doing nothing, while she is doing everything. For many of us, we understand where Martha is coming from. If everyone sits down like Mary, who is then going to prepare food for the important guests? However, what we miss is the attitude of the heart behind the request. Martha is already allowing her unhappiness to fester on, toward a dislike for her dear sister. This attitude is demanding and in some ways, self-centered. For Martha, the ‘right’ way is her way. It is her stubborn refusal to consider other ways that Jesus has to intervene by saying; Mary has chosen the better way, in Christ.

Being Accepted in a World of Strangers

In life, we are measured by what we do, almost all the time. Externally, it is very tough being a nobody especially in careers that require high visibility and salesmanship.  Internally, it is worse to envy others more successful than us. Sometimes, I too wish that I am better known. When this happens, I remind myself with these questions:

• “Can you handle success?"
• "Are you able to handle fame and fortune and still remain humble?”
• "Will you be spoilt by success?"
• "Will God's Name be better glorified through your strengths? Or your weakness?"

When we switch our infatuation with the world, and to start moving toward contentment in God, we are on the right track to the better way. I am encouraged by the Canadian evangelical writer, and current pastor of Moody Church, Dr Erwin Lutzer who writes:

‘Better to love God and die unknown than to love the world and be a hero; better to be content with poverty than to die a slave to wealth; better to have taken some risks and lost than to have done nothing and succeeded at it; better to have lost some battles than to have retreated from the war; better to have failed when serving God than to have succeeded when serving the devil. What a tragedy to climb the ladder of success only to discover that the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall.’ (Erwin Lutzer, Failure: The Backdoor to Success, Moody, 1998, p136)

Lutzer's description of the better way blows me away! What a reminder that it is better to be an unknown in the world, and to be accepted in God. What a reminder that contentment is better than great riches. What a revelation to check our ladders, whether they are leaning on the right wall in the first place. The key to the better way begins by not being distracted by the world. Neither is it trying to gain acceptance by doing lots of big projects in the name of God. The key to the better way is in the simple knowledge that God loves us as we are. God loves us regardless of our size and shape of our achievements. God loves us, as we sit at Jesus’ feet, simply adoring him.

Your Choice of a Better Way

Are you struggling with the issue of being accepted in your workplace, your home or any particular comminity group? Do not despair, my brothers and sisters. Even when you encounter failures, or when you feel rejected by those you respect, you know that God accepts you. In Christ, He has already accepted you, before you were conceived. Jesus loves you just as you are, especially when you come with a humble and contrite heart. Remember, the better way is not in terms of which path to take, but the attitudes you wear before the throne of grace. 

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” (Ps 51:17)

Thought: The ways of the LORD are infinitely better than the waywardness of the world.

sabbathwalk

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Reactionary Behavior

Title: Reactionary Behavior vs Proactive Behavior

Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 16 Jan 2009

I traveled to Washington DC this week. Getting there is already quite an experience. The security, inconvenience and a little fear (and frustration) among ticketed passengers as well as security staff, takes the joy out of air travel. After being searched, frisked, my belongings scanned and examined, it is a big relief to pass all the security checkpoints at airports. It is not a nice feeling for anyone, to be a suspect unless proven otherwise. The defacto wisdom in clearing security is this: Bring less stuff. The less stuff we carry along, the fewer things need to be scanned. Vancouver airport is particularly stringent; with wait times extending to an additional hour or more on top of the normal security checks. Maybe, the Olympics next month has something to do with it.

Addressing Symptoms or Source?
I empathize with the guards. Just one security lapse, on NorthWest Flight 253 late last year, causes ALL other personnel to be impacted. The numbers themselves are not fair. Even those who have been maintaining their vigilance were ‘punished’ for this one incident. I call such methods a result of ‘reactionary behavior.’ It is like stuffing pegs into holes. Each time one gap is discovered, it will be plugged. Security nowadays has become more reactive, (responding to threats) rather than proactively building relationship through friendship (reducing threats). In other words, reactionary behavior addresses the symptoms more than it actually addresses the source. It employs methods to counter each action with an equal or more powerful opposite reaction. I suppose such methods have led to flaring bad tempers among the passengers. Some even hurled verbal insults. Otherwise, the security people would not have put up a sign that tells passengers not to abuse the security staff. It is not a nice job TSA (US Transport Security Administration) has on their hands.

Reactionary Behavior in Security
One big flaw in security is its reactionary manner of conduct. When the shoe bomber was foiled, nearly all passengers have to remove their shoes to be scanned. When liquids were found to be part of the explosive used by the terrorist, all liquids suddenly get banned from carry on baggage. When it was discovered that the latest terrorist used the restrooms less than an hour before his bombing attempt, the rules were tightened to ban all passengers from getting out of their seats, especially one hour before touchdown. Ridiculously, this included using the restrooms.

Although this latter rule has been recently relaxed, it is incredulous that this cat-and-mouse game is succeeding in making the terrorists the smart-smiling guys, and everyone else like scared-stiff ridicules. The mood is terrible. Nobody trusts anyone anymore. My feel is that, as long as we address only the symptoms, we can potentially see an already stressed security system even more strained. People who used to see traveling as fun, now sees more fear. Reactionary behavior sets the ground for more, not less, reactions waiting to happen. How can we address reactionary behaviors? I think proactive building of relationships must form a major part of the solution.

Reactionary Relationships
Reactionary behavior is not only seen in security measures, but in relationships as well. Sometimes, we jump into frantic rescue mode when a relationship sours. Couples seek marriage counseling. Bosses convene emergency meetings with unhappy staff members. Even Church leaders start to pay more attention to unmet needs when people start leaving their church. My questions are:

• Why do many people play catchup all the time? 
• Why must they wait until a problem occur before they do something?
• Why don't husbands pay more attention to their wives during regular hours?
• Why don't wives understand their husbands under normal conditions?
• Why don't people believe the famous saying: "Prevention is better than cure?"

Frequently, the moment the problem happens, looking for cures is not only expensive, it is very difficult to recover. Even the best cures address the symptoms rather than the source. For example, if a wife feels neglected by the husband, can a sudden 24 hour attention change that? What happens after the 24 hours? Usually, we can see such behavior of neglect as a form of taking people for granted. In fact, taking one another for granted, especially our loved ones, is a major reason why relationships decline over time. There must be a better way. There is a better way. Preventative is better than curative.

Preventative Behavior
In the short term, current security measures is like a form of curative to alleviate the fears and stem the dangers of terrorist attacks. However, this alone cannot sustain the safety and peace of the world beyond. The events of September 11, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and increasing unease due to terrorism clearly demonstrate that peace cannot be forged on the basis of a tit-for-tat strategy. One way forward is to learn from others. Rather than simply throwing handouts to the poorer societies of the world, why not cultivate in them an ability to help themselves? Why not begin with ourselves, our neighbourhoods or the communities we belong to? Why not actively make friends rather than concentrating on stopping enemies? Why not build communities of friends rather than enclaves of different social groups, and not treat others like outcasts?

Happiness Tied to Community Goodwill
In the West, especially in the technology world, the word ‘ubuntu’ is commonly associated with the popular world of Linux, a computer operating system. Instead of the pricey Windows or Mac OS X, Ubuntu is free for people to download and use on their computers. This word originates from South Africa, which translates as: “We are people through other people.” It implies a huge emphasis on living as communities rather than as individuals. Jean Rebick, a Canadian political activist, draws insights about Ubuntu from a Bolivian perspective. She writes about the deepest held values of the Bolivian indigenous people as being, “I cannot be happy unless everyone in my community has what they need.”

“The individual’s happiness is completely tied to the community’s well-being. We can find this idea in all cultures, from ancient Greece to modern South Africa.” (Jean Rebick, Transforming Power, ON: Penguin Canada, 2009, p68)

One cannot be truly happy until everyone in our community has what they need. What exactly do they need? Let me suggest that the nature of relationships is like a paradox. One’s happiness is tied to the happiness of the community one lives in. Conversely, the health of a community is tied to the personal well-being of individuals living in it. The way to personal happiness is not grabbing things for ourselves, but in giving of ourselves for the benefit of others. It is easy to give away things, hard to give away ourselves to the point of humility. Sometimes, we can even be ridiculed. I remember the time when I decide to give up on my promising career. Some colleagues say I am foolish, even crazy. Others share that they wish they had the guts to do the same. After five years, I find myself richly blessed. I have learned to see how God works through community. I can testify to you, that for whatever career prospects I have lost, it has been more than compensated for, through the friends I have gained. True friends stick with us through thick and thin. I learn community trumps the personal. Community thrives among people willing to care and to share. Community injects a special meaning to life that no self-help seminars or manuals can give.

We cannot be happy until everyone in our community has their needs met. This goes against conventional understanding of one’s ‘right’ to pursue happiness in life. With this, there is a lot of wisdom to be gleaned from St Francis of Assisi’s prayer, written in 1226. I believe this is better than reactionary behavior which often goes to address symptoms. This prayer is a form of proactive behavior that addresses the source. It cultivates the ability of all to make peace. This is our calling, not simply as Christians, but as a human people.

Thought: Who are the people in your house and your neighbourhood? Your church? Your social group? Your office? Have you taken them for granted? Have you only gone to them when YOU have a need? Why not have coffee with them, even when you do not have a need. Why not simply enjoy them as friends?

PRAYER OF ST FRANCIS

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. Amen.

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Copyright by SabbathWalk 2010. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Forgiveness Heals the Heart

Title: Forgiveness heals the heart

Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 4 Jan 2010

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.” (Matthew 5:9)

Last week, I posted a final reflection for 2009 at my other blog called 'Yapdates'. (Note: this is different from SabbathWalk which is published only once a week.) Over there, I was thinking back on my many varied posts on topics ranging from technology to spirituality, from public matters to things more personal, or simply to write something to go along with what the whole world is doing: “Wishing one and all a Happy New Year!” Then, I decided, that one way to summarize the year is not simply forgetting everything like Auld-Lang-Syne, but to focus on something more constructive. I ask myself:

• Should I be content with simply forgetting everything like sweeping dust under a carpet?
• How should I approach the new year? Is it going to be repeating the same old years?
  

No. My last post for 2009 at Yapdates focuses on forgiveness. I feel that my first post at SabbathWalk ought to be on forgiveness as well. This is because I believe forgiveness heals the hearts. Here is why.......

A World in Need of Healing
In life, because of our fragile human nature, it is only a matter of time before we eventually get hurt one way or another. It could be a careless scratch on the face. It could be a silly word uttered by a close friend. It could be an insensitive remark said over the meeting. It could also be an accidental push by something carrying a dinner tray. Given our human tendencies to get hurt or to hurt, isn't it appropriate for us to find ways for healing as well?

Lest I be accused of extreme pessimism, let me add that with hurts, come the redemptive prospect of healing as well. For physical hurts, we can use various ointments and medication to sooth physical nerves. We see a medical doctor for advice to our external wounds, migraines or anything that is impeding us from our normal activities. For hurts that are less pathological, like mental well-being, one will have to visit a local psychologist, a psychiatrist or even a pastor. Whatever it is, in any holistic treatment, there are many ways to heal the flesh and the mind.   

What about things of the heart? How can one heal a broken heart? In my last 2009 reflection, I chose one of Michael Jackson’s video clip, which was rather symbolic for human relationships. It is not ‘Thriller’ or ‘Billie Jean.’ In fact, it is lesser known compared to these record smashing songs. Entitled, 'Heal the World,' Michael Jackson’s singing versatility drives home the perennial human need: Forgiveness. I like to begin this first SabbathWalk post of 2010 by urging all of us to embark on this pilgrimage of forgiveness, as not merely acts, but as an attitude of peacemaking. Healing the heart begins with an attitude of forgiveness.

[If you have not, you can pause here to watch the video.]

Reflections 2009 ( Two Words)

Reflections on the Year 2009 (Two Words)
I summarize this year with 2 words: Prepared and Stranger

“You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains.” (Matthew 24:6-8, NIV)

It has become a cliché every year: “It has been an eventful year.” People in business often say to each other, “We’ve been really busy.” Many others continue their non-stop engagement with bread and butter matters, from work expectations to family situations. For this last devotional of the year, let me take some time to briefly reflect over the major events and also to summarize some personal thoughts .

Some of the major news events of 2009 includes:

• January 20th – Barack Obama becomes the 1st black President of the USA
• February 7th – Bushfires hit Australia in one of the worst droughts there (Brisbane Times)
• March – Financial markets hit a new low; Remember AIG?
• April – North Korea continues to show aggressiveness as they test launch missiles
• May – Sri Lankan Tamil Tigers surrender to government forces;
• June – H1N1 fears start to rise on a global scale; Michael Jackson dies;
• July – Rioting in XinJiang China
• August – Two American journalists freed from China after former President Bill Clinton intervenes; Corazon Aquino and Edward Kennedy dies;
• September – Typhoon in Philippines;
• October 22nd – Launch of Microsoft Windows 7 operating system
• November - Economic Turmoil in Dubai
• December – Failed bombing attempt on a NorthWest Airlines flight

Reflections on a World of Unpreparedness
I ponder upon the question: Are these events really that new? Should we really be surprised when sensational events that appear unexpectedly should become a drama by itself? Perhaps, it is not the event itself, but our 'perception' of the timing of the event. In other words, the more *unprepared* we are, the more likely we will be spooked by bad news and be caught off-guard in surprise and bewilderment. Jesus said to us that we 'see to it that you are not alarmed.' Let us take heed.  My first point is, how deeply shocked we are, sometimes reflects not the events per se, but the state of UNPREPAREDNESS in our hearts.

For instance, before Michael Jackson's death, tabloids were splashing all kinds of scandals and drug problems encountered by the star. Once his death was announced, people throng music stores and sales of his records skyrocket. Even a lavish memorial service is held in his name. Why are people so shocked? People will die anyway. It is only a matter of time. Indeed, it is because we do not expect the king of pop to die so young, that causes us to be 'shocked.'

Sometimes, the shock becomes more acute the closer it is to us. While many of these events hit the news headlines, many hardly go beyond the mental level, until it hits home. When that happens, we will complain that the world do not really care, forgetting that we were once the 'world' that we are now pointing a finger at. Just think of the H1N1 scare. It is one thing to read about it on the papers. When one of our children gets it, our perception of it changes dramatically. I experienced it as well, as one of my neighbours' children got H1N1 one after the other.

In North America, it would seem like the year began with much promise and anticipation of change, with the election of a new American President. Yet, it ends with a tragic terrorist attempt to explode an American airplane out of the sky. The faces of leaders may be new, but the issues they have to tackle are old. Headlines wow the eyes, but seldom move the hearts and hands to do more beyond watching the TV, unless it hits closer to home. Let me suggest that in prayer, we learn to care for matters beyond our homes. In prayer, we will learn to do more besides watching and reading about them. In prayer, God reveals the actions that we can take. Prayer is a necessary step toward a prepared heart. Pray for the world. Pray for loved ones.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

Reflections Closer to the Heart
I have close friends who have experienced loss of loved ones this year. One lost a child. Another lost a spouse. Others continue to struggle with health issues. Through the years, I have seen friends struggling with remembrance of loved ones on their death anniversaries. As I watch these people, frequently, the best I can do is to sit next to them to offer a loving hug and empathetic look. Sometimes, I offer to pray for them. I would meditate on God’s Word to ask for peace to be with them.

Personally, my life this year has been largely quiet. I like it that way. It is something I cherish, even though sometimes I wish that I was a little more famous, so that people will not ignore me. At the end of it all, I am simply a small petal in an ordinary flower, or an insignificant drop of water in the world wide ocean. I am not as compelling as I would like to think. I have learned lots this year, updating myself with technological developments, constantly adjusting my attitudes toward the social networking phenomena spearheaded by Facebook and Twitter, and blessed by the people in my ministry. My book reviews have received both bouquets of compliments as well as brickbats that includes abuses. I am learning what it means to depend more on God and to see his grace flowing through both my lack as well as my plenty. I continue to marvel at how my children have grown, in physical size as well as mental prowess. The greatest joy of a parent is to see one’s children learning to make sensible and responsible decisions without prompting. Gratefully, I can see my children learn to cope with any financial insecurity, by learning to trust that we, their parents trust God to provide for all their needs. Building emotional confidence is best done within an environment of faith, hope and love.

Reflections Summarized by Two Words
Preparation is the first key word for me this year 2009. News events around the world may be tumultuous. Local news such as tax increases, reduction in social benefits and changes to laws may affect our pockets, but we must not allow these things to decrease our hope. Jesus has already told us not to be surprised. In October this year, I have written about being prepared, so I will not elaborate much on this word, ‘prepared.’ My second word for the year is *STRANGER*.

I cannot help but suspect that one reason why many of us do not grow in our spiritual walk with God, is because He is a ‘stranger’ to us. The less time we spend with God, the more ‘strange’ he becomes to us. Perhaps, for the new year, as far as your relationship with God is concerned, move from ‘stranger’ to ‘friend’ and watch how God becomes more real in your life. My second point is: We pay less attention to people we call strangers. We tend to focus more on people we love, like family and friends. Thus, if we learn to see people as ‘neighbours’ rather than ‘strangers,’ this world will be much better off.

My Prayer for You
Many of my readers know me personally, either through personal emails or contact over the years. It is usually through this method of matching the face to the name, and the name to the essay that causes one to read a little more graciously, and a little more carefully. Those who do not know me as well, may not pay as much attention to me or my writings. That is simply being human. Put it another way, we tend to pay less attention to ‘strangers.’ Just like Christmas cards. The first thing we usually read is not the card but WHO sent the card.

For some of you on my subscription list, even though I have not personally met you, I would like you to know that you are no ‘stranger’ to me, for I pray for you. I may not know you personally, but I count it a privilege to remember you in my prayer. Out of this attitude flows a desire to treasure you in my heart, wherever you are. Even though I may not change the world dramatically, I can still do my share in my own small way. Sabbath Walk is one tiny way. Thank you for walking with me, and do let me pray for you.

“Our God in Heaven, we come before you helpless in many ways. From politics to economics, from weather calamities to human follies, you are constantly watching over all. Every word we speak. Every letter we type. Every thought we think. Every memory we cherish. You know them all. I pray for each name on my subscription list that you will help them maintain a state of preparedness to await your Second Coming of your glorious Son, Jesus. Keep them watchful. Keep them hopeful. Above all, allow them to love You like never before, for the coming year 2010 and beyond. Enable them to channel their heartfelt desires into fruitful works. Keep them aware that their love for You be translated into love for one another. I pray for all of us, especially my readers, that we learn to see people all over us, not as strangers to shun, but neighbours to embrace. In our own strength, it will be an impossible task. Thus we ask that YOU, empower us to do the seemingly impossible: Love God and neighbour. Begin with all their loved ones, that their love for spouse, children, siblings, parents, colleagues, and all. May the New Year be one that is filled with hope and strength to overcome. Help us all to remember, that with each pain & suffering we encounter, there are also triumphs over them. We long to see your ultimate triumph soon.  

Help us to be PREPARED at all times. Help us to learn to see people not as strangers but neighbours. May we all make a step away from the road of strangers, toward the path of friends. All these we ask in Jesus’ Name. Amen.”

May your New Year 2010 be filled with hope in your hearts, and a constant state of preparedness to spring into action a love for God and neighbour. If our world each day can be one stranger less, and one neighbour more, this world will indeed be changed.

Written by conrade yap

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org/ . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

How to Unwrap Our Gift

TITLE: HOW TO UNWRAP OUR GIFT
Written by: Conrade Yap (22 Dec 2009) 

"Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms." (1 Peter 4:10)

This is Christmas week. Retailers cash in on the last minute shopping rush. Consumers dash to finish their last hour of buying. Parents queue up for the coolest toys. Children wait up in anticipation of wonderful gifts. It is season's greetings, with shouts of jingle bells to the ears, Christmas lightups to the eyes and with merriment all around. Carols fill the airwaves. Flashy ecards flood Internet screens. Merry making starts the day with continuous feasting and drinking through the night.

I like this time of the year, where people stinge a little less, to give a little more. Partly because it is time for humanity to come together. Partly because it is a time to slow down and reflect over the past year. The mood is pleasant. I am not alone to wish that everyday is like Christmas Day. As I look at Christmas trees and their decorations, I admire the nicely wrapped presents of different shapes and sizes. North Americans are really creative. Everything seems to revolve around family and get together with friends. It seems like the whole world is wrapping and giving away presents to all. It seems like many people wants to express their love and appreciation through giving and sharing. It is entirely appropriate that I do the same, using the gift of God to serve the children of God, that they too can serve others in the world, young and old, rich or poor, sad or glad, regardless of language, ethnicity and worldviews.

Unwrapping God's Gift to Us
How do we unwrap God's gift to us? We read in many parts of the Bible about gifts. Today's passage above is from Peter. It is an exhortation to Christians to continue to bring love, joy and peace to the world, especially among the communities around them. One question that continues to draw attention is about the 'Will of God' in our lives. It remains one of the most sought after topics at workshops and seminars in churches, Christian gatherings and teaching seminars. I remember how Christians I meet will raise this question over and over again. Many of them want to do good but are unsure how. Most of them desire to obey God but are not sure how. Many of them know they have a gift, but are not sure what it is. this article is written to help us get an idea of how to unwrap our gift.

I believe that God has given each of us a gift. We may have many talents, but most of the time, these talents stem from something more intrinsic, even hidden from us. In fact, the different skills, and talents that we have do not define who we are. The reverse instead is true. We all typically have one gift, many manifestations. Let me suggest my paradigm for discovering and for unwrapping the gift God has given us. I call it the G.I.F.T. When we can unwrap our GIFT, we will learn to cherish it, to use it for the glory of God.

The GIFT Paradigm
Through the years, I have been reading about the will of God. I am still learning and this represents a small part of what I have experienced and learned. A common argument made by many Christian authors is that we need not look very far to find the will of God. They all agree, that we find God's will with God's Word as a guide. Let me supply my simple guide to unwrap our gift, based on 1 Peter 4:10.

1) G = Generosity
In uncovering our gift, there is a sense of a desire to share, not simply for monetary sake, but for BOTH monetary and non-monetary means and ends. This means that it is not only when we are paid to do something, then we exercise our gifts. No! God's gift is freely given. Thus it should also be freely given away through a proper use of it. Frequently, the exercise of this gift is demonstrated by a desire to share it, and to joyfully use it for the benefit of others. Peter exhorts his disciples and hearers to use their gifts 'in serving one another.'

I remember when I start Sabbath Walk devotionals, one of the concerns is how do I compensate for the time spent for it. How do I justify the initial small outlay to create the website, buy the domain and maintain it weekly? There is no business plan. There are no financial means to justify the hours I put in to pray and to write our my thoughts. In fact, many times, a devotional sent out hardly gets any feedback at all. Not that I crave recognition or positive affirmation. Rather, if anyone were to measure the *success* of Sabbath Walk, if it was a company based on positive feedback or monetary returns, Sabbath Walk would have been a bankrupt company within the first 3 months. I want Sabbath Walk to be a channel to use my gift, to encourage the body of Christ, and to be a gift for the people of God.

In a nutshell, I believe God has been very generous with me. I acknowledge God's generosity with me, and want to be generous with God's gift. Sabbath Walk is essentially a gift that I joyfully and generously want to share with my family, my friends and all who know me or are getting to know me. I discover to my delight, that 'generosity' is the one aspect of unwrapping God's gift to us. We need not be coerced from the outside to be generous. True giving is always something that grows from the inside.

2) I = Innovative spirit
Secondly, we can recognize the gift we have by seeing how we desire to innovate and to be creative around it. People who recognize a gift never stays contented in just one version of it. They desire to use this gift to create different versions of it. Those with a desire to sing learns as wide as possible a repertoire of songs. They want to reach the potential of their voices. They want to communicate powerfully the emotions tied to any song. They want to share more of themselves through the music they belts out. In other words, they have a strong desire to innovate and to continue to do so all of their lives. They 'faithfully administer God's gifts in their various forms.'

I have been reading leadership materials and how some companies succeed and others not. One of the key factors between great companies and merely good companies is how they innovate. Companies that move from good to great are those that do not simply sit on the successes of yesterday. They innovate. Hewlett-Packard is one of them. When they were already successful in their measurements unit (now Agilent), engineers in HP Labs, (top class research division) created the world's first inkjet device. Unknown to them, this small invention were to spawn a multi-billion dollar printer industry, and launch a whole new era in printing. The dot-matrix ribbon printer leader at that time, Epson, was left wondering what happened to their business, even as HP skyrockets to become one of the computer industry's biggest innovation stories. We can all unwrap our gifts by recognizing the particular gift in us that makes us want to innovate.

3) F = Fervour
Thirdly, it is the heart that drives the hands to do the most wonderful things. In business, one of the core traits of entrepreneurs is passion. Without it, one cannot run the marathon of hard business dealings. Without passion, one can easily give up when the funds are low. Without passion, one easily complains and whines about life and how unfair the world is. Fervour is one of my favourite words, besides zeal. It is a way to unwrap our gift. In other words, the gift that we have within us, is most visible when we employ our resources to use them with fervour. We dream it when we are sleeping. We think of it when we are waking. We pray about it in our working. We ponder over it frequently in our leisure. Sometimes, we are so excited about it, that we unconsciously exercise it.

I believe I have the gift of teaching through writing, sometimes speaking. Even though my writing is imperfect, with grammatical errors and long-winded prose at times, I continue to press on despite negative comments even nasty words. Some of the feedback I get are crude and painful. Others border on the non-committal word called "interesting." Yet, these negative things not only do not discourage me, they spur me on to improve. They make me want to do better, and to do more. Failures are seen as learning opportunities. Like the famous inventor Edison, a failed attempt is not a bad thing. It shows us what *NOT* to do next time. With fervour, we can unwrap God's gift to us even more, each time we do it with passion, with love and with joy.

4) T = Thankfulness
Paul's words to the Thessalonians is to give thanks in everything (1 Thess 5:18). I think there is a deep spiritual benefit here. It is also theology powerfully put into practice each time we give thanks. When we give thanks, we acknowledge that what we have, is nothing but grace. In fact, the world runs on grace that we often take things for granted. The bus transit system runs on time. The TV news channel broadcasts at the set hour. The electricity and water flows according to our demands. I believe that each time we give thanks, we make this world a better place, beginning with our hearts. When we turn on the power switch, and give thanks, we show our appreciation for the power engineers, the people who make the electricity possible to us. When we go for a nice warm shower, and give thanks, we recognize how much we have been blessed by an efficient water distribution system. When we go to the restaurant, and pause to give thanks, we start to realize that the chefs, the decorations, the meticulous menu and the people working in the restaurant did not appear overnight, but has been painstakingly planned and prepared for our benefit.

This is the fourth aspect of GIFT that unwraps the gift in us. In fact, I will say that giving thanks enable us to unwrap our gifts over and over again, each time able to see a newer perspective of our gift. Some of my best writing moments flow out of a thankful heart. My words become seasoned with grace and gratitude. My sentences are bubbly. My thoughts are lively. Give thanks to the Lord, for he indeed is good.


Summary
In this electronic day and age, distance has been overcome by the Internet. Sharing takes on a whole new level, and the world is now much bigger than simply our small neighbourhood. Distance is no longer a big constraint. We can use our gifts to benefit more people more than ever before. Let me summarize the four aspects of unwrapping our gifts.


We unwrap our gift through eyes of generosity. For some of us it is volunteering our services free of charge, like serving as an usher in church, hospitality, or even simply greeting one another. It is generously done. We never stop giving.

Ask:What are the things we are generous with? What are we most willing to invest, regardless of benefits or cost?

We unwrap our gift through innovative hands. We look at it from different angles all the time. We have that strong desire to improve and do things differently. We never stop becoming creative.

Ask: What are the things that we constantly try to improve, even without others prompting us?

We unwrap our gift through fervour.

Ask: What is our passion in life? What makes us persevere on in both good and bad times?

We unwrap our gift through continual thanksgiving. May I humbly suggest, that we have already been given much, so let give thanks frequently. In doing so, our efforts at generous giving of ourselves, time and efforts, our innovative ways to exercise the gift, our fervour to use them, will take on a new dimension each day. In giving thanks, the unique gift in each of us becomes more evident in us, and through us. In giving thanks, we unwrap our G.I.F.T over and over again. Each time we do that, do not be surprised that love, joy and peace comes alongside this unwrapping.

Ask: How much do we appreciate God's grace to us? Much is given, much is required.

One more thing. Each of our unique gifts grows out of a common gift of faith through grace. Let us celebrate the greatest Gift of all to us: Christ. In fact, as I think of church and the community, I dream of the day where Christian believers unwrap each other's gifts in such a way and still able to say the following"

“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.” (quote attributed to Burton Hills)

Let me add. Let's wrap our gifts around each other, and together become a united gift for God. May his kingdom come, and his will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

From Sabbathwalk, have a blessed Christmas 2009!


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Copyright by SabbathWalk 2009. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Preaching the Word in Word and Indeed

TITLE: Preach the Word in Word and Indeed

“Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” (2 Tim 4:2, NIV)

I love to preach. Whenever the text is opened, there is an inexplicable joy and enthusiasm to dive in, to dig in, and to swim in the Scriptures. While I do not preach every week, I am constantly in a preparation mode. I read widely. I write. I reflect. I blog. For I believe in Paul’s exhortation to young Timothy above, to be ready in season and out of season. That is why when I am asked to preach, my preparation frequently leads me to 3 or more versions of a sermon. It can look like a 3-in-1 gift to the church. I like to see it as offering 3 different versions to God and pray that the Holy Spirit will lead and guide me to select the most appropriate version. Such a version needs to be the one that answers three needs; truthfulness of my heart, appropriate to the congregation, and glorifying to God.

This is no easy task. In fact, the key to preaching is not in a good pulpit performance but a humble heart. The pulpit ministry can become a great temptation to show off one’s oratory skills and public speaking capabilities. Sometimes, we can confuse the pulpit with motivational talks. No! The pulpit is far too sacred to be secularized. It is far too precious to be diluted into worldly stories and motivational speeches. Some preachers think that telling stories and getting people’s attention is far more important. Yet, preachers of the Word of God are not called to be Sunday entertainers, but worshipers. If one does not worship well, how can one preach well?

Bored on Sundays in a Culture of Entertainment
The word ‘worship’ has become so widely used that its meaning has been diluted. We use it for singing songs. We use it in our printed bulletins. We use it to symbolize a Sunday gathering. A lack of understanding of true worship, easily tempts us to equate worship with another program to satisfy self. We need to remind ourselves that in worship, it’s not about us. It’s all about God. It is about giving God the credit, and to learn to give thanks and praise to a worthy God. Like Matt Redman’s popular song,

“It’s all about You, Jesus.” which brings us to a heart of worship.

Unfortunately for many, our listening ability has been sharply curtailed due to unhealthy expectations we carry over unwittingly from the TV/movies to the pulpit. Watching TV, Youtube on the Internet and movies, 7 days a week can inadvertently create in us an entertainment mentality. We then carry this with us even as we sit on the pews each Sunday. If the preacher tells a nice story, we sit up and listen. When the preacher goes to the hard task of deciphering the biblical languages, we yawn and doze off in boredom. Toward the end of the service, we wonder what happened. One of the common complaints I have heard is that preachers speak above one's head. My question, is it solely the preacher's fault?

A joke was told about a man who slept through a boring sermon. The preacher, feeling a little indignant decided to embarrass the man. So he asks all who wants to go to heaven to stand up. Everyone did except for the snoring man. As members of the congregation begins to sit, the preacher asks another question, “Those of you who thinks he will go to hell, please stand up.” The dazed man suddenly wakes up and said: “Pastor, I am not sure about what we are voting here, but it seems like only the two of us are in agreement.”

Anybody can tell stories and jokes, but not everyone can preach in a manner that leads all toward worship. The pulpit ministry is essentially a ministry to worship God by letting God’s word shine forth into the hearts of all, including the preacher. I will even venture to argue that in any preaching situation, the one most blessed is often the preacher himself or herself. From experience, the biggest challenge in preaching is not the sermon material but the heart. It is the preparation of the heart that is most difficult. It is the preparation of the heart that is most treacherous. It is the preparation of the heart that most accurately determines who we are worshiping on Sunday. It is the preparation of the heart that tells us whether we are working for God’s glory or the preacher’s own reputation.

I remember one sermon which I was particularly proud of. Having put in many hours to prepare, I printed them out and practiced many times including the hours leading up to the Sunday sermon time. At the end of the sermon, I felt empty. I felt like I have merely performed an act. I felt while I have delivered professionally, I have worshiped miserably. The feeling is terrible, that I dare attempt to grab what is rightfully God’s and to chase after positive affirmations and feedback from others, to call it mine.

At other times, I will faithfully prepare my sermon. Despite a weak delivery, I will feel glad and peaceful within, knowing that the Lord’s power is made perfect in my weakness. I love this situation, where I know for sure, that if the parishioners were blessed, it is definitely not my work, but the power of the Holy Spirit. This is a strange journey of a preacher. God has blessed me with a desire to preach, and to do so as faithfully as possible. Knowing my passion, He has even provided me a preaching mentor, Dr Haddon Robinson, previously named one of America’s Top Preachers. He is also my current doctoral dissertation advisor. I have benefited greatly simply by listening to his wise experience.

Preaching is not a Ministry but an Attitude
Some say that entering seminary is essentially learning to minister full-time in an official ministerial capacity. While true in some ways, I think it is far too narrow a perspective. Going into seminary or Bible schools is not simply preparing one to minister. It is simply a phase of one’s walk with God. One of my Regent professors, Dr Paul Stevens recently gave a talk in Singapore entitled “Why Theological Education Is Too Good To Be Reserved For Pastors,” Stevens argues that theological education is for everybody. He proposes the radical idea that ministry is never to be divided into laity and clergy. In the light of the people of God, doing ministry is essentially the people of God, ministering together to the people of God.

I share this same ethos. After all, I have spent 4 years at Regent College, still one of the best and rewarding years of all of my life. I have never learned so much, from so many people before. This leads me to believe that preaching is not so much a ministry, but an attitude. This interpretation is consistent with Paul’s exhortation to Timothy to preach the word in season and out of season. Some of us may not be called to pulpit preaching. Neither is everyone called to teach from the Word like a Bible school teacher. However, all are called to let their own Christian testimonies preach God’s Word in truth and in love. Let God’s Word shine through our thoughts, our words and our deeds.

What About the Lay?
As much as the preacher needs to come with a humble heart, the parishioners and church goer needs to play their part too. Below are some of my suggestions. I call it P.E.A.C.E of heart.

• Be PURPOSEFUL in preparing our heart for worship. Know the limits of our bodies. Maybe, we need to begin on Saturday evening. How about sleeping early, and waking up early to pray?
• Be EARLY in Church. Sometimes, our impatience and restless minds come from a harried morning rush, and a hurried soul. This makes worship of God hard, as one is still trying to calm down.
• Be ATTENTIVE to the needs of family members or friends. As a father, I struggle with this, and at times have allowed my unhappiness over punctuality affect the worshiping mood of my family. The key is communicate one’s plans to family members early.
• Be CAREFREE. In preparing a heart of worship, we need to let go of distractions. One way is to practice the Sabbath. For example, every Saturday night from 6pm to 6 pm the next day, I will go on a computer fast.
• Be ENCOURAGING. When we get to Church, say thanks to the ushers, the musicians, the pastor or even the one preparing coffee. A word of encouragement not only makes these servants feel acknowledged, it makes them feel loved.

In summary, the ministry of preaching is an attitude that covers both the preacher and the listeners. Together, we can worship God in Spirit and in truth. Preach the word in season and out of season, to correct, to rebuke and to encourage one another in the Lord. If we do this, this will be the best worship we can give to God on any given Sunday.

"Worship changes the worshiper into the image of the One worshiped." (Jack Hayford)

sabbathwalk

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org/ . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Four Stages of Modern Pride

The Four Stages of Modern Pride (9 Dec 2009)

COMPETITION →BUSYNESS → FEAR → INSECURITY → SELF-ABSORPTION

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." (Prov 16:18)

One is not enough. Two does not quite cut it. Three is closer. Since my neighbour has four, I will shoot for five. These are ramblings of a competitive environment where people boldly go, desiring to be first, avoiding being last. Competition is good. It raises economic activities and lowers consumer prices. It spurs something in all of us. Do more; Earn more; Spend more; Get more, seem to be the four traits of the modern life. The economy thrives when businesses grow. This unwittingly breeds a kind of busyness that can become self-absorbing and narcissistic. What are we to do with busyness, fear, insecurity and self-absorption? Perhaps one way is to first do a spiritual diagnostic. Let me suggest the following 4-stage model, which I call the stages of modern pride.

Speaking Truth in Love

"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ." (Ephesians 4:13)

Those of you who know me will see that I enjoy writing. Specifically, I enjoy writing to glorify God, and to let my writings be an edification for all who read them. I must admit. One of the purposes of my writing is for my own benefit, to let the words be a mirror to reflect myself. This may seem rather selfish. This seems rather egoistic. Yet, it is because I am aware of my own faults, that I write to see how God's grace has shaped me over the years. Am I learning to write more accurately and clearly? Am I true to what I have learnt? Am I faithful to the calling God has given me? Am I easily understood?

I have received my fair share of criticisms. Some have accused me of being too big-headed. Others think I am trying to show off. None of them are close to the truth. Rather, I believe that all of us must continue to learn. For a student, any unknown word is not a chance to throw potshots at the one using it, but an opportunity to improve one's vocabulary. For a teacher, there is a duty to use simple words, but also a calling to help readers grow in their learning and understanding. There are some concepts that only 'big words' can faithfully capture. For instance, if I simply stick to the English word 'love,' I will fail to appreciate that Greek has many words on love that the English language does not capture. Should I who knows the Greek, selfishly keep to myself, for the sake of keeping things simple? To do so, is not only bad stewardship on my part, but also a sad deprivation of the opportunity for others to learn. I will continue to do this, even at the risk of others calling me names like 'show-off,' 'boastful' etc. It is more important to obey God, than to be concerned about being offended. We need to meet in the middle, both teacher and student. Often, roles change too, with teacher learning from student and vice versa. Both cannot brush each other aside and walk off without truly understanding each other.

Writing is a tough vocation. Not only can it be lonely, it does not bring in much income, let alone any in the first place. During my visit to Baker Books publishing house in Grand Rapids, I remember hearing the General Editor, himself a Regent-College graduate share about the publishing industry. Publishers typically reject more than 90% of all manuscripts submitted. Many of them were returned to the prospecting authors unopened! The takeaway is this. Unless you are a famous speaker, popular pastor or has rich connections with the establishment, forget it. Your writings may be superb, even highly credible. However, if you are a nobody, forget it.

Why then do I still write? Why then do I persevere on to try to encourage readers, even when I feel discouraged by negative comments and feedback? Just this week, one of my blog pieces got criticized severely despite my most fair-minded review. I begin to wonder. Am I really that bad? Is freedom of speech limited only to giving nice cosy words about things around me? Probably not. The process of working to uphold truth in love does not necessarily mean others will do the same. At least, not in the same manner I expect.

Christlike Freedom
Peter Marshall, husband of the famous authoress, Catherine Marshall once preached a sermon about liberty. He says:

"For freedom is not the right to do as one pleases, but the opportunity to please to do what is right."

Speaking about the Founding Fathers of America, he continues:

"The Founding Fathers sought freedom. . .
not from law but freedom in law;
not freedom from government - but freedom in government;
not freedom from speech - but freedom in speech;
not freedom from the press - but freedom in the press;
not freedom from religion - but freedom in religion." (Peter Marshall)

I may not be American, but I certainly appreciate the way set forth by the vision of the American founders. May I add that Christian liberty is not the freedom to speak whatever we like but the freedom to restrain ourselves, to restore others, to reconcile with people, and to refresh one another in the Lord. This is what it means to have freedom. For the Christian, free speech is not saying anything that pleases yours or my ears. It is the willingness to speak the truth lovingly, in a manner that is Christlike. This calls for fairness. Jesus may be angry, but he shows tenderness. Jesus may have overturned the tables at the temple, but he shows us that he is willing to turn himself in to the authorities seeking to condemn him. For Jesus, speaking the truth in love comes with a heavy cost. As disciples of Christ, we should not be too surprised if our best intentions fall on deaf ears, or others persecuting us for what we stand for.

As for me, I do not know how long I can sustain my writings. It has cost my family and I much time and resources. While I will continue to offer my writings free of charge, pray for us that God will show us how he has provided and will continue to provide, as I exercise my vocation to write, to teach, to preach and to speak the truth in love. Whatever little we have, we offer it to the Lord. Whatever much we have, we offer it to his people. We are a servant to all, as part of our devotion to God. The great Reformer, Martin Luther once declared a paradoxical truth:

"A Christian is a free lord, subject to none.
A Christian is a perfectly dutiful servant, subject to all." (Martin Luther)

I agree without reservation. That we may all grow up in Christ, in truth, in love and in giving glory to God. God alone. In God I write.

sabbathwalk