Showing posts with label Hospitality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hospitality. Show all posts

Friday, March 4, 2016

Spiritual Unity

TITLE: SPIRITUAL UNITY
SCRIPTURE: John 17:20-23
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: March 4th, 2016.
20“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
The Church is not as united as Christ wants her to be. This is a historical fact and also a present reality. In biblical times, there are many examples of how God's people go their separate ways. The very first split between human beings mentioned in the Bible is the classic case of Cain and Abel over worship. Cain offered some of his crops to God while Abel gave the best of his firstfruits. Envious of God's acceptance of his brother's gift and not his, Cain schemed and slaughtered Abel. When questioned by God, he skirted the issue. In Genesis 13, we saw the first patriarch of Israel having to contend with family dispute with Lot. In order to prevent further tensions, Abram and Lot agreed to part ways as they could not get along (Gen 13:8-10). Family relationships are often the most difficult to resolve.

Even King David right from the start had to contend with the problem of unity. Before his enthronement, Saul his predecessor tried to get rid of him. In his later years, he had to flee for his life because of a family mutiny. While his heart remained true to God, his own son failed to do the same, resulting in the split of the nation of Israel into Israel and Judah.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Reactionary Behavior

Title: Reactionary Behavior vs Proactive Behavior

Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 16 Jan 2009

I traveled to Washington DC this week. Getting there is already quite an experience. The security, inconvenience and a little fear (and frustration) among ticketed passengers as well as security staff, takes the joy out of air travel. After being searched, frisked, my belongings scanned and examined, it is a big relief to pass all the security checkpoints at airports. It is not a nice feeling for anyone, to be a suspect unless proven otherwise. The defacto wisdom in clearing security is this: Bring less stuff. The less stuff we carry along, the fewer things need to be scanned. Vancouver airport is particularly stringent; with wait times extending to an additional hour or more on top of the normal security checks. Maybe, the Olympics next month has something to do with it.

Addressing Symptoms or Source?
I empathize with the guards. Just one security lapse, on NorthWest Flight 253 late last year, causes ALL other personnel to be impacted. The numbers themselves are not fair. Even those who have been maintaining their vigilance were ‘punished’ for this one incident. I call such methods a result of ‘reactionary behavior.’ It is like stuffing pegs into holes. Each time one gap is discovered, it will be plugged. Security nowadays has become more reactive, (responding to threats) rather than proactively building relationship through friendship (reducing threats). In other words, reactionary behavior addresses the symptoms more than it actually addresses the source. It employs methods to counter each action with an equal or more powerful opposite reaction. I suppose such methods have led to flaring bad tempers among the passengers. Some even hurled verbal insults. Otherwise, the security people would not have put up a sign that tells passengers not to abuse the security staff. It is not a nice job TSA (US Transport Security Administration) has on their hands.

Reactionary Behavior in Security
One big flaw in security is its reactionary manner of conduct. When the shoe bomber was foiled, nearly all passengers have to remove their shoes to be scanned. When liquids were found to be part of the explosive used by the terrorist, all liquids suddenly get banned from carry on baggage. When it was discovered that the latest terrorist used the restrooms less than an hour before his bombing attempt, the rules were tightened to ban all passengers from getting out of their seats, especially one hour before touchdown. Ridiculously, this included using the restrooms.

Although this latter rule has been recently relaxed, it is incredulous that this cat-and-mouse game is succeeding in making the terrorists the smart-smiling guys, and everyone else like scared-stiff ridicules. The mood is terrible. Nobody trusts anyone anymore. My feel is that, as long as we address only the symptoms, we can potentially see an already stressed security system even more strained. People who used to see traveling as fun, now sees more fear. Reactionary behavior sets the ground for more, not less, reactions waiting to happen. How can we address reactionary behaviors? I think proactive building of relationships must form a major part of the solution.

Reactionary Relationships
Reactionary behavior is not only seen in security measures, but in relationships as well. Sometimes, we jump into frantic rescue mode when a relationship sours. Couples seek marriage counseling. Bosses convene emergency meetings with unhappy staff members. Even Church leaders start to pay more attention to unmet needs when people start leaving their church. My questions are:

  • Why do many people play catchup all the time? 
  • Why must they wait until a problem occur before they do something?
  • Why don't husbands pay more attention to their wives during regular hours?
  • Why don't wives understand their husbands under normal conditions?
  • Why don't people believe the famous saying: "Prevention is better than cure?"

Frequently, the moment the problem happens, looking for cures is not only expensive, it is very difficult to recover. Even the best cures address the symptoms rather than the source. For example, if a wife feels neglected by the husband, can a sudden 24 hour attention change that? What happens after the 24 hours? Usually, we can see such behavior of neglect as a form of taking people for granted. In fact, taking one another for granted, especially our loved ones, is a major reason why relationships decline over time. There must be a better way. There is a better way. Preventative is better than curative.

Preventative Behavior
In the short term, current security measures is like a form of curative to alleviate the fears and stem the dangers of terrorist attacks. However, this alone cannot sustain the safety and peace of the world beyond. The events of September 11, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and increasing unease due to terrorism clearly demonstrate that peace cannot be forged on the basis of a tit-for-tat strategy. One way forward is to learn from others. Rather than simply throwing handouts to the poorer societies of the world, why not cultivate in them an ability to help themselves? Why not begin with ourselves, our neighbourhoods or the communities we belong to? Why not actively make friends rather than concentrating on stopping enemies? Why not build communities of friends rather than enclaves of different social groups, and not treat others like outcasts?

Happiness Tied to Community Goodwill
In the West, especially in the technology world, the word ‘ubuntu’ is commonly associated with the popular world of Linux, a computer operating system. Instead of the pricey Windows or Mac OS X, Ubuntu is free for people to download and use on their computers. This word originates from South Africa, which translates as: “We are people through other people.” It implies a huge emphasis on living as communities rather than as individuals. Jean Rebick, a Canadian political activist, draws insights about Ubuntu from a Bolivian perspective. She writes about the deepest held values of the Bolivian indigenous people as being, “I cannot be happy unless everyone in my community has what they need.”

The individual’s happiness is completely tied to the community’s well-being. We can find this idea in all cultures, from ancient Greece to modern South Africa.” (Jean Rebick, Transforming Power, ON: Penguin Canada, 2009, p68)
One cannot be truly happy until everyone in our community has what they need. What exactly do they need? Let me suggest that the nature of relationships is like a paradox. One’s happiness is tied to the happiness of the community one lives in. Conversely, the health of a community is tied to the personal well-being of individuals living in it. The way to personal happiness is not grabbing things for ourselves, but in giving of ourselves for the benefit of others. It is easy to give away things, hard to give away ourselves to the point of humility. Sometimes, we can even be ridiculed. I remember the time when I decide to give up on my promising career. Some colleagues say I am foolish, even crazy. Others share that they wish they had the guts to do the same. After five years, I find myself richly blessed. I have learned to see how God works through community. I can testify to you, that for whatever career prospects I have lost, it has been more than compensated for, through the friends I have gained. True friends stick with us through thick and thin. I learn community trumps the personal. Community thrives among people willing to care and to share. Community injects a special meaning to life that no self-help seminars or manuals can give.

We cannot be happy until everyone in our community has their needs met. This goes against conventional understanding of one’s ‘right’ to pursue happiness in life. With this, there is a lot of wisdom to be gleaned from St Francis of Assisi’s prayer, written in 1226. I believe this is better than reactionary behavior which often goes to address symptoms. This prayer is a form of proactive behavior that addresses the source. It cultivates the ability of all to make peace. This is our calling, not simply as Christians, but as a human people.

Thought: Who are the people in your house and your neighbourhood? Your church? Your social group? Your office? Have you taken them for granted? Have you only gone to them when YOU have a need? Why not have coffee with them, even when you do not have a need. Why not simply enjoy them as friends?


PRAYER OF ST FRANCIS
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. Amen.


sabbathwalk




Copyright by SabbathWalk 2010. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

True Hospitality


A Welcoming Heart
"Let love of the brethren continue.
Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it." (Heb 13:1-2)
When my family first came to Canada in 2004, there was apprehension about many things. Thoughts revolve around lifestyle choices, worries over ability to cope, concerns about affordable housing, questions about safety on the streets. Uprooting ourselves from our comfortable setting in Singapore was easier said than done. Amazingly, God was there walking with us, as we embarked upon a journey of uncertainty. How do we know? He was there speaking the language of hospitality. 


There were three comforting arms of hospitality. Firstly, we know we came with the prayers and love of our friends and family in home, church and colleagues. Secondly, we were embraced by a loving community at Regent-College. Thirdly, Vancouver for all its flaws, is still a very welcoming city. This three-fold hospitality is a major factor in helping us to adjust: Assurances from Home (personal level), Warmth within the new Community (neighborhood level) and a welcoming culture at large (society level). (That is one reason why Vancouver has been consistently ranked among the top best cities to live in.)


As I was pondering about the word 'hospitality,' I cannot help but feel that this is also the heart of evangelism. Conventional evangelism methods focus on something like tract distribution, mass rallies and even 'friendship' evangelism. These things have worked in the past, but are getting less popular. Moreover, many cities are now adopting a secular and pluralistic culture, meaning it is no longer that easy to share the gospel in the traditional sense. Even if the rallies and 4-spiritual laws manage to bring people to the faith, many new converts fail to sustain their initial fire for God. Some went back to their old ways. Some were let down by what the modern church has to offer or not offer. Some lost their faith. The few that remained, did so because they have experienced hospitality in some way. 


Flying 8000 miles meant that we have to give away many things. From furniture to cutlery, from electronics to books and for the kids, from clothing to toys. For me, I have to surrender the privilege of having a domestic helper as well as the conveniences of affordable food delicacies. We miss our friends, our family and even our business associates. In our hearts, we were preparing to rough it out in faith. With our hands, we were prepared to work. I managed to find some work amid my busy studies, at $10 per week! A simple cup of Starbucks coffee would have wiped out nearly a quarter of my earnings. The whole experience may have been low in monetary payback, but high in community acceptance. 


Imagine our surprise when neighbors start to knock on our doors, asking if we need stuff. Graduating students donated things like DVD player, plates, cups, chairs. Some sold off their stuff at unbelievably low prices. We were invited to meals. We were greeted with warm hugs and mugs of coffee when we visit churches on cold Winter Sunday mornings. Even the society at large welcomed us by not discriminating us based on skin color, or citizenship. For example, at the public libraries, we can borrow up to 50 items on a free library card, as long as we can produce a local residential address that proves we are residents. We do not need to be citizens or Permanent Residents. Our kids too did not need to pay school fees while we are there. It felt immensely comforting to be welcomed into a strange and new land.


What does it take to build a welcoming culture in the Church? 
For Patrick Keifert, he thinks that we can build a welcoming culture by 'welcoming the stranger.' In his book of the same name, he argues that worship and evangelism are not separate works but one. He observes that churches are often very unhospitable to people who are different from the rest. He extends the word 'stranger' to include those who attend churches but fail to be accepted within any group inside the church. Like it or not, church people tend to distinguish one another based on class, race, age, or life situations. People generally gravitate toward those who are more or less like them. It is thus common to feel like a stranger within the church home. While trying to be in church on time, trying to serve in the various ministries and trying to participate meaningfully in Sunday worship, have we forgotten that worshiping God also includes 'welcoming the stranger?' That was what Abraham did when he saw the three strangers outside his door (Gen 18). That was what Jesus did when he saw Zacchaeus the tax collector shunned by the community. That was what the writer of Hebrews urged us to do, to welcome strangers by showing them hospitality (Heb 13:2).


In our affluent society, what is most needed is not more money, more time or more things. These are important, but let them not become more important over people. Jesus did not die for money, for things or for more time to pursue our businesses. He died for real lives. We need a little more love and understanding. We need not more time to ourselves, but to give more time to others. We show hospitality when we realize that it is not about us. It is not even about others. It is about our love for God, that is reflected through our love for others and then ourselves. True hospitality means building bridges to make meaningful connections. True hospitality encourages. True hospitality opens up our homes and our hearts. True hospitality welcomes the stranger. May we adopt eyes of hospitality to reach out and touch someone who is hurting or needy today. Perhaps, the first step is to ask them for permission to let us help them.


Thought: Who are the strangers within your circle of influence? Can we like Jesus ask them to 'invite us' into their homes?
"He who practices hospitality, entertains God himself." (anonymous)
sabbathwalk