Man's Greatest Fear

TITLE: MAN'S GREATEST FEAR
SCRIPTURE: Genesis 1:27
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: July 26th, 2013

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." (Gen 1:27)

Real men?
(Photo Credit: Ben Rothstein/20C Fox/AP)

What do you mean by real men? If we were to buy what Hollywood is offering, real men tend to be those who spot a macho moustache like Tom Selleck; a muscle heavy body builder like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone; hairy-chested males like the star of Wolverine, Hugh Jackman; or the dashing superstar with a boyish look, Tom Cruise.  Maybe it is the Lone Ranger type individuals like James Bond,  who seems to be able to single-handedly defeat foes; or the sole heroes in Superman or Batman. Look at all of these examples carefully and one will be quick to notice how great looks and super-skills dominate the definition of the masculine hero. Maybe Cruise and Selleck are the famous "ladies' men," while Jackman, Schwarzenegger, and Stallone let their muscles do the talking. Are these the only real men in the world? Of course not.

A) What is "Male?"

If we press for an answer what precisely is masculinity, we will probably be challenged to go beyond the physical and the external. What then is masculinity? Biology classes will teach us that men are people who have both X and Y chromosomes in their genes. Genesis tells us that Adam was created first, and Eve then created out of Adam's rib. In Genesis 1:27, the word for male is "zakar" which Larry Crabb calls it "to leave a mark, to make an impact." Tying it back to the Triune Godhead, he points out that what makes a man a man, is how "he bears God's image" and impact the lives of people. A man is one who is weighty enough to make a difference in another person's life. This is different from "throwing one's weight" about, which refers to boastfulness and authoritarianism behaviours. Zakar is about influence. It is about living impactful lives in the Name of God.

Danger of People finding Fulfillment in Busyness of Work

If that is true, then man's greatest fear is essentially the opposite of Zakar. Crabb calls it "weightlessness." Rick Warren calls it the lack of purpose. I call it the loss of self-identity. When we fail to know who we are, what we are created to be, and the purpose of living, we will tend to doubt ourselves. For males, they tend to be people who adopt the mantra: "I do, therefore I am." A major problem is this: When people let their work and their accomplishments define their identity, when the flow of work and accomplishments end, there goes their identity.

B) Problem: Lack of Self-Identity

If the workaholic finds his self-identity being dissolved in his work, the other extreme happens to be those who loses their self-identity simply because they do not have any work. Living in Vancouver, I have met many immigrants from Asia, and one of the common observations is that the men tend to do worse than the women. One person stays home while the wife becomes the main breadwinner. Another volunteers part time while depending on handouts from the government. Some force themselves to take up entry level jobs despite them having top qualifications and solid work experience in their home countries. Some decide to cut their losses and head back to Asia to find work. A number of people who linger on go into depression. Those who survive the first five years testify to how tough it is to find work, meaning, and self-identity.

When one's self-identity is challenged, it affects one's self-esteem, the family, as well as overall perspective of life. How then do we regain our sense of purpose and of identity? We go back to the source: Our creator. For if God is the one who has created us, surely He knows who we are and what we are created for. This is the critical starting point of life, failing which men will fall head long toward more and more "weightlessness." Work or the lack of work thereof cannot be allowed to define who we are. Both leads to one or more of Crabb's "weightless men."

C) Three Types of "Weightless Men"

Crabb, in his latest book highlights three types of weightless men:

1. The Shallow Man
2. The Secularized Man
3. The Spiritually Addicted Man

The Shallow Man is one of indifference, preferring shallow comfort instead of meaningful struggle. The Secularized Man tries to live a life that is independent of God. What is most intriguing in Crabb's list is the "The Spiritually Addicted Man," who are confused about their sense of priorities, getting a wrong sense of their deepest needs, and thirst for things temporal and easy.    

"Spiritually Addicted Men display power over people through whatever resources they have that win respect and admiration" (Larry Crabb, Fully Alive, Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2013, p123)

Weightlessness will cause men to fall into one or more of the three categories.  The common symptoms are: not knowing what to do; unsure of oneself; inability to make any difference, thus the indifference; total lack of purpose in life; no relationship with God. Looking at Genesis 1:27, one cannot help but notice the important need to get back with God to God's original plan. When God made man as "zakar," there is purpose and there is a divine self-identity. Man is created to make a difference.

D) Masculinity of The Fourth Kind

Thankfully, there is a fourth category that Crabb is arguing for: The "Sincerely Struggling Man." Such a person will recognize one's limitations, embrace one's weaknesses, and ready to throw himself at the feet of Jesus to ask for help. He knows how formidable sin is, and as he tries his best to be holy, he will often fall and fail. He will however not give up trying. He is broken inside but hopeful that God will heal him from the inside out. He may fail on the outside, but he knows that what matters is not how the world sees him, but how God sees him. He may continue to struggle and the trials will seem to storm unabated, but he knows who holds the future for him. He knows the need to exercise faith. He is both realistic and optimistic, knowing that both needs to be centered on the Person of Christ. Realistic like Jesus who willingly risks his own life for the greater cause. Optimistic like Jesus because far greater than the greater cause is the perfect promise of God.

What makes a man a man is one who will not quit on the eternal hope and promise. Like Billy Graham, who states with conviction about hanging on to God's promises.

"God takes the weak and makes them strong.
He takes the vile and makes them clean.
He takes the worthless and makes them worthwhile.
He takes the sinful and makes them sinless." (Billy Graham)

It is this promise that ought to energize men of God. It is the promise that is incarnated in the Person of Christ. This promise is fulfilled in the death of Christ. This promise will continue to be resurrected when Christ comes again. One more thing. Remember the word "zakar" for "male?" Christians who do not know what to do with their lives, ought to consider seriously their role with regards to gospel living. Carry the good news. Spread the message of Christ far and wide. Talk about Jesus. Brave through the skepticisms and criticisms. Be sure of one's faith. Be so focused on Christ, that nothing can deter us from testifying. Can we dare ourselves to offer our utmost for God? Once we start living more and more for things eternal, and less and less of things temporal, we are on our way to a great run for God. Counter man's greatest fear of weightlessness, but hanging on to what CS Lewis calls: "The Weight of Glory" in Christ. History is full of people who in spite of their weaknesses make a difference for God. Think of Augustine's Confessions, whose classic book of the same name has warmed the hearts of thousands. Think of King David's honest psalms, that have guided the prayers of millions of Jews, Christians, and others. Think of the brave prophets in the Bible, and the men of faith in Hebrews 11.

If you think you cannot make a difference, you are probably right. What we need is to do all things through Christ who strengthens us. That is the basis of weightful living.

“The world has yet to see what God can do in and through and for and by a man whose heart is totally His. I will do my utmost to be that man.” (D.L. Moody)

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries. Note that views expressed are personal opinions of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of any organization.

One Flesh: Three Forms of I-Love-You's

TITLE: ONE FLESH, THREE FORMS OF I-LOVE-YOU's
SCRIPTURE: Genesis 2:23-25
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: July 20th, 2013

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Gen 2:23-25)

KEY IDEA: Marriage is not about me or you. Neither is it about my needs or my spouse's needs. It is about how a couple is together in all things, working to build their marriage for the glory of God. This is done out of the truth of two persons becoming one flesh.

"You never listen!" screamed the woman.

"You don't understand me!" the man reacted.

The married couple stormed out of the restaurant.  A dinner that began nicely had ended abruptly and angrily. Both had their points of view. Both persons made their cases. Both persons thought they were correct. As the couple leaves the restaurant, I cannot help but wonder how on earth are they going to resolve their dispute, if ever that is going to happen? In a relationship, must it always be a case where one person is right and the other is wrong? When communications break down, where do they go to?

Thinking from the perspective of the woman, she will be craving a listening ear and at the same time fuming why she cannot find that her husband can listen better. In a spate of anger, she has summed up her frustrations about the relationship in three words: "You never listen." Is it really true that anyone "never" listens? Probably not. The woman's words mainly reveal the gradual deterioration of the marriage. Maybe she is right. The man she loves has taken her for granted. She calls up her girlfriend to chat. After all, whenever she has marital problems, she knows there is a friend she can confide in.

Tom wonders why his wife had not taken the time to show him the respect that he deserves. After all, he works hard for the family, and brings in the money to pay the monthly expenses. He even gives her a monthly allowance. After all these efforts, the least she can do is to give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps, she has taken him for granted. This time, things have gone a little to far. He feels disrespected, misunderstood, and lonely. Thinking that he has no one else to turn to in his frustration, he picks up his cell phone, ready to dial the number of the one who has been giving him tender loving attention: His personal assistant, Phoebe. For if Rebecca is not willing to listen and to give him attention, Tom can easily find another person who will.

Who is right or who is wrong? Maybe, both are wrong.

That is my position too. For whenever there is a communications breakdown, both parties are at fault. Even a 10% fault makes one at fault. The arguments may have been correct from the respective persons, but both need to be responsible for the communications process. Just like finding the right cable to connect the electrical device to the power source. If the connector is wrong, or if the connections do not fit, there will be no power for the device. Just like square pegs in round holes, without the proper cables, all of our electronic or electrical devices are practically useless, especially when the battery runs out. When the communications break down, unless both parties make amends, the breakdown remains.

A) The Binary Mindset

One of the common problems in a marriage relationship is the binary mindset whenever there is a dispute. Take the couple for example. When there is a problem, our human nature makes us take the stand that “I am Right and You are Wrong.” Imagine if both parties assert their rights, and refuse to admit that they are wrong. It can lead to an impasse where both sides will not budge. Each feels that they have given in a lot already. Why then should they give in any further?

A binary mindset sees life in black and white. If you are not white, you must be black. If you don’t support my decision, you are against me. There is very little room to see that the world has not just whites or blacks, there are also Asians, Hispanics, Middle-Easterns, Eurasians, East Europeans, and so on. Likewise, there are many different reasons for supporting or not supporting any decisions. Maybe more information is needed. Perhaps, abstention is best in the light of doubt on both positions. Maybe, the decision needs to be delayed.

A binary mindset turns a colourful world very much into black and white. There is not much maturity in understanding the world of relationships. An immature relationship will coat life only with brushes of black and white paint. Here are some examples of a binary mindset.

• If you don’t buy this toy for me, it means you don’t love me.
• If you don’t like eating hamburgers, it means you hate fast food.
• If you don’t say you love me, that means you don’t love me!
• If you don't see my point of view, you are not interested in what I think.
• ...

Our love for our spouses is not a matter of buying stuff or not buying stuff. Neither is it about saying things according to the whims and fancies of the other person. We can remain faithful and loving even when we do not bow down to the personal preferences of our spouses. A black-and-white mindset will refuse to entertain a third point of view. It discards alternatives. For such a mindset, the only acceptable thinking is the I-am-Right-You-are-Wrong mentality. The question is: Why must it always be one person is right and the other wrong?

B) Both are Right?

Agreeing to Disagree Again?
(Credit: 1000Fights.com)

What if both persons think that both of them are right? They are then free to be entrenched in their positions, thinking that it is ok to agree to disagree. Perhaps, Tom and Rebecca are both right in their opinions. Perhaps they have already made their own conclusions. Blame it on the circumstances. Blame it on the restaurant ambiance. Blame it on the dog or the colour of the carpet! As long as their own views are preserved, they are willing to accept that all are correct, only different. While it can relieve the tension, I think it does not go far enough in bringing a sense of two persons becoming one in marriage. Without an agreed set of standards, each will set his or her own standards. Tom feels he is a good husband because he brings in the income. Rebecca believes that she is a good wife because she keeps the house clean. Without any desire to understand the other person, each stands their ground, insisting that they have done their best in their marriage. Two problems arise out of this attitude  The first is, when pride is involved, it is easy to insist both are right, even when both are equally wrong. The second is this: There is no oneness. 

C) One Flesh: What It Means

In Genesis, we read of how the first marriage relationship is formed.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Gen 2:23-25)

What makes any marriage unique is the union. This union is not just a physical union, but a holistic union. God creates man and woman. God blesses the marriage of one man and one woman. Both are united in the flesh, of two becoming one. That is the direction and purpose of marriage. That brings glory to God.

In that marriage, both are free to share of their deepest thoughts and feelings without shame, without fear, and without embarrassment. The man can feel free to share of himself without fear of negative repercussions. The wife can talk about her feelings totally trusting that the husband will honour her and protect her. When both are one flesh, both will know that whatever things they share or feedback to each other heal, help, or hurt BOTH OF THEM. That is what is meant by united in the flesh. In marriage, one is united physically, mentally, and spiritually.

This oneness is critical in marriages. The key reason why marriages break up is because there is no oneness. In fact, this is one of the major modern problems in marriage. Simply put, this dilemma is: “How can a husband and wife become one and yet retain their individual distinctivenesses?”

As long as we insist in our own way, any tiff, dispute, or argument, will spiral dangerously away toward a breakup, and quite possibly a divorce. When there is no oneness, there will be a broken marriage.

Marriage is a commitment to each other, not just oneself. Neither is it a sole commitment to please our spouses. Marriage is the union of two persons becoming one flesh. In this union, there is a shift of pronoun from I or You to WE. This is seen from the perspective of the married couple, and not our individual selves. The standard vocabulary that needs to be used often in any marriage are “we,” “our,” “together,” “ourselves,” and “us.”

A lot of research has gone into studying the reasons behind rising number of divorces in contemporary times. More than 100 years ago, only 10% of marriages ended in divorce. Now, it hovers around 50% at least! Marriage counselors Jack and Judith Balswick place a finger on “expectations” observing that fewer expectations lead to fewer divorces. As more men and women, husbands and wives become more highly educated, having more experiences and technical knowledge in worldly matters, they unwittingly apply the same set of expectations on their marital relationships. Spouses who have spent the whole day trying to meet customer demands and expectations return back to the home, hoping to be recharged and renewed by having their own spouse meet their demands and expectations. By bringing in work expectations home, they squeeze their marriage into the office mold, thinking that their spouses are the means to their own ends. That is the wrong way to see marriage. For marriage is plural, not singular people. Marriage is about two becoming one, not two becoming two persons or two opinions. 

D) Both Wrong: Three Practical “I-Love-You”s

Perhaps, whenever there is a conflict or dispute, the better approach lies in recognizing both persons are wrong in some way. Do not behave like a perfect person being right all the time. A marriage is two persons trying to do the right thing TOGETHER. It is about coming back to a fresh union every day. In a dispute, press the marital RESET button through three practical forms of I-Love-You.

The first is: “I Am Sorry.” Whether we have the right thinking or idea is not important. The important thing is that the communications for some reason have failed. If Tom never listens, maybe Rebecca has chosen the wrong time to share of herself. Maybe, Rebecca needs to apologize for not recognizing the needs of her husband. Likewise, Tom can apologize for having a bad day and for being in a foul mood. Admit that they are wrong. These three words defuse lots of tension. It reminds us that everytime we point a finger at another person, several fingers are pointing back at us!

The second is: “Please Forgive Me.” Admitting one is wrong does not go far enough. One needs to seek genuine forgiveness. Give the spouse the benefit of the doubt. Allow one to sober up and seek the forgiveness of the other in humility and in recognition that we ourselves may not have been the best part of ourselves that day. Admitting we are wrong must be supported by a desire to seek forgiveness. This is what oneness is all about. Refusing to be one with our spouses means we are just happy saying we are sorry. For saying sorry without a seeking of forgiveness from the other is not union at all.

Finally, in working through any arguments, disputes, or marital conflicts, there is a third and most important step: “Let’s Try Again.” Note that the first two phrases have more to do with the individual. The first is about admitting one is wrong. The second is to ask the other to forgive one person. It is the third that prepares the marriage to grow again. The third one is no longer about “I” or “me.” It is about US. Trying again together as a couple stems from the unique recognition that both persons have a common interest to make the marriage work. Without this third step, any reconciliation is not complete.

When all things fail, try and try again. What does it mean to be one flesh? Let me close with the following thoughts by Jack and Judith Balswick about "differentiated unity" on how two individuals can become one over and over again.

"We have a separate identity in Christ.
We have high regard for self, spouse, and the relationship.
We seek God-validation as opposed to self- or spousal-validation.
We express ourselves as honestly and directly.
We earnestly listen to and take each other seriously.
We choose interdependency rather than dependency or independency." (Jack and Judith Balswick, A Model for Marriage, Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic, 2006, 106)

THOUGHT: "Simply put, trinitarian theology conceptualizes God as three in one, a unity of three distinct divine persons in relationship. In like manner, a social scientific understanding of marriage is seen as a unity formed by tow distinctly differentiated spouse. We contend that God has created us to be in a mutually reciprocating relationship as two unique selves in relation to God and to each other." (Jack and Judith Balswick)

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or inquiries. Note that views expressed are personal opinions of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of any organization.

When Bad News Happens

TITLE: WHEN BAD NEWS HAPPENS
SCRIPTURE: Job 1:13-19
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: July 12th, 2013

13One day when Job’s sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother’s house, 14a messenger came to Job and said, “The oxen were plowing and the donkeys were grazing nearby, 15and the Sabeans attacked and made off with them. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!” 16While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, “The fire of God fell from the heavens and burned up the sheep and the servants, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!” 17While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, “The Chaldeans formed three raiding parties and swept down on your camels and made off with them. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!” 18While he was still speaking, yet another messenger came and said, “Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother’s house, 19when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!” (Job 1:13-19)

It has been said that no news is good news. It remains true to this day. Just over the past week, there is news of an aircraft that crashed in a failed landing at the San Francisco airport. Two young high school students died. Over in Singapore, I read about the case of two persons who died in a tragic hit and run incident. Two men, father and son died. Hardly a day goes by without the news media reporting about an accident, a tragedy, a war, or some negative headline. Even within my personal circle of friends, I hear people who experience failures in tests, discouraging job searches, as well as terrible medical results. I also read about people whose children decides to take their own lives. Recently, I hear of someone having an advanced form of cancer! My heart breaks. Call it a bitter pill to swallow or a tragedy. Whatever it is, bad news like any of the above is gut wrenching.

Grieving parents of the deceased on Asiana Airlines Crash
(Photo Credit: news.com.au)

My heart goes out to the parents of the two young teenagers who must be wondering right now, why their girls are not among the 305 survivors. They may be asking, why them? Why of all people must they be the ones receiving such bad news? Why of all the girls in the world, it has to be their own flesh and blood who perished? Why on earth must it be Asiana Airlines Flight 214, exactly on July 6th, 2013 that had to crash? There are way too many unanswered questions, and too few answers. The grief is hard to bear. When bad news happens, there are no words to describe the anguish and despair. Only pain, suffering, and lots of tears.

What do we do when bad news happens?

A) First Person Response: Why me?

This is perhaps the most famous question to any form of bad news. The superstitious may start blaming on not responding better to bad omens prior to the tragedy. Maybe they have failed to make amends for their deeds. Maybe, their past has come back to haunt them. Maybe, there is someone who is out to make their lives miserable. The Chinese has a word called (dao mei, 倒霉) which is essentially "bad luck" or "cursed." For those who believe in reincarnation, they will easily blame it on the evils they have done in their past life. Christians of course do not believe in this cycle of births and rebirths, and will be forced to deal with the aftermath in the present and the future. Even among Christians, the two word response is common. For many, the question goes much deeper. Adam Hamilton shares about a man who lost everything during the 2008 recession.

“Why is God punishing me? I prayed. I gave to the church. I volunteered to serve others. And I lost everything! I just want to know what I did that was so bad that God would do this to me?” (Adam Hamilton, Why, Nashville, TN: Abingdon, 2011, p2)

Such thinking reflects a commonly held belief that as long as one does good, nothing bad will come. As long as one does evil, nothing good will happen. That is why for people who receives bad news even when they have done a lot of good, it is a bitter pill to swallow and a confusing puzzle to solve. Worse, when they see "bad people" receiving all the good, or simply being lucky, their bitterness increases, lamenting life is not fair. The philosophy of good guys win and bad guys lose does not truly reflect reality of life.

B) Second Person Response: Why not other people?

Each time someone asks "Why me" there is another related question, "Why not others?" It is a cry for fairness. Sometimes, it is a little easier to accept that one's loved one is not the exception but among the norm. Safety in numbers. At least, if there are other fatalities, one will not feel so bad or alone. Like the case of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting tragedy, there are other affected parents who can find comfort and solace with fellow parents who have lost a child to the evil shootings. Better to feel among the grieving than to be alone in the mourning. Imagine how a parent will feel if their child is the "only" one who died, while everyone else survived? Such a parent will very well be asking beyond "Why me?" to ponder about "Why not others?"

This issue of fairness and justice is part of the human psyche to want to be treated equally and fairly. The truth is, this world is never fair in the first place. If one is born in a poor region, one grows up poor. If one is born with a silver spoon, one grows up privileged. If one is born with a handicapped, one is doomed to live with that disability for the rest of his/her life. Is that fair? The movie "Final Destination" is a horror flick that talks about how death stalks a person again and again. Once a victim has been identified by a "Death Force," even if the victim is able to avoid the death trap a couple of times, eventually, the victim dies. People who have experienced more than one setbacks in their lives will feel that they are the ones that have been stalked by "bad luck" or evil. Sometimes, our yearnings for fairness can also have a negative dimension. If positive means everyone wins, negative means everyone must lose, equally.  Such an attitude stems from a selfish disposition.

C) Third Person Response: Thank God It's Not Me?

I think some of the most insensitive news coverage happens to be on people who have survived. Just after 9/11, some news agencies will be frantically covering the testimonies of people who survived the terrorist attacks. For some strange reason, a person missed a flight on one of the ill-fated planes that crashed into the twin towers. Another survivor woke up late and failed to attend a meeting. Yet another got caught in some last minute errands. On and on, we read of close shaves and strange out of the blue escapes. This reminds me again the comparison of the praying styles of the tax collector and the Pharisee. The former pleads for mercy. The latter thank God that he is not like some other kinds of sinners.

“The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.' (Luke 18:11)

Talk about insensitive remarks. For every piece of bad news, there will be others who sing praises about their good fortune to be alive, or to have been on the "right" side of life. It can be the winner of the lottery, the one who just escaped a brush with death, or simply one who is plain lucky about something. I think it is important that we learn to be sensitive about tragedy situations. Whether one is fortunate or not, the priority must go to care for the grieving. Cut down on the reporting of the lucky people. Avoid bringing God into the blessings too quickly. For with every statement that says: "God has saved me from that fire!" there is a corresponding "Why did God let him burn?" There is no problem in giving thanks to God for the good in our private rooms. When it comes to the public sphere, be extra sensitive on victims, the families of victims, the grieving and those who are suffering. Silence is often a good rule of thumb,on either ends of the tragedy.

This third kind of response is not only unhelpful, it is unneighbourly. Angry about bad news on oneself is one thing. Wishing it on others whether directly or indirectly is cruel.

D) Meditation on Job 1

What about Job? How did he respond to tragedy?

This Bible book alone covers many issues of pain and suffering. It is a story of one who experiences a shift of fortunes from blessed to cursed. After all the upright living and pious spirituality, Job suddenly gets all the bad news. First, his property got stolen by enemies, and several of his servants murdered. Second, his sheep and several servants died when fire from above came down. Third, he lost more livestock, such as his camels. Fourthly, if those losses were not traumatic enough, a fourth servant came to inform him that all his children have died from a wind created disaster. Each time, there was a survivor, the "only one" who managed to escape the calamity and lived to tell Job the story.

See how the Bible describes the behaviour of Job.

20At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” 22In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing. (Job 1:20-22)

Job did not ask: "Why me?" like many of us modern folks. He did not complain about why the tragedy did not affect other people instead. Neither did he go around shaking his fist at God and cursing the Creator. All he is able to do is to recognize once again the Sovereignty of Almighty God. While losing possessions and the people he loves is one thing, suffering personally through physical ailments is another. In Job 2, we read about the fifth dimension of suffering, that is so bad that Job attempted to scrape his own skin with broken pottery (Job 2:8). The remarkable thing about this man of God is that, through it all, he did not sin (Job 2:10b).

E) What To Do When Bad News Happens?

What about applying the same question to ourselves? This is a tough one. I do not want to belittle the tsunami of pain and grief when bad news happens to anyone. That said, what I am sharing is for those while stunned, still wants some tips on what to do. That said, let me propose three things that anyone can do, especially Christians. This is what I call the fourth way to respond.

First, move toward the Healer. Prayer is a good option. There are many things that are not within one's control. At the same time, the human person tends to be most spiritually attuned to asking the meaning of life during times of pain and suffering. One story that I have recently read is one true story of pain and hurt. Two victims of a drunk driving accident had to reflect over and over again why people like them had to bear the brunt of the tragedy through no fault of their own. It was completely the drunk driver's fault whose vehicle slammed theirs. The drunk driver died on the spot with minimal suffering in terms of time (few seconds), the victims survived but had to suffer for years, even lifelong trauma, or post-traumatic stress disorders. For Dann and Tracey, they had to endure many weeks of emergency operations, months of rehabilitation, and years of pain and suffering. Yet, over and over again, they testify of God's healing presence and the power of prayer.

"We have had several other events that have revealed God's love and presence in our lives. While God sometimes intervenes when we least expect it, He also responds to our prayers and comes when we call Him and need Him most." (Dann Stadler, Angels in the Fire, Bloomington, MN: Bethany House, 2013, 185)

The famous nurse, Florence Nightingale comments about the place of prayer.

"Life is a hard fight, a struggle, a wrestling with the principle of evil, hand to hand, foot to foot. Every inch of the way is disputed. The night is given to us to take breath and to pray, to drink deep at the fountain of power. The day, to use the strength which has been given to us, to go forth to work with it till the evening." (Florence Nightingale, 1820-1910)

When we go toward the Healer, it may not necessarily guarantee relief from pain, but it surely increases our awareness that we are not alone, for God is walking with us in our pain.

This leads us to the second thing we can do. Look outward. As we work toward healing with God as the Healer, and the sole provider of peace and comfort, look on the needs of others more than ourselves. Learn to serve and to give. There is a story of a Chinese woman who suffered greatly after the death of her son. On the advice of a holy man, she goes on a journey of searching for some home that has NEVER known suffering. As she knocks on the doors of each household in search of this elusive happy family, she learns that every family has their own share of pain and suffering. In seeking closure and relief for her own pain, she becomes the comforter instead of the comforted; the minister instead of the ministered. CS Lewis shares this insight about the unique place of sufferers.

"The most beautiful people are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." (CS Lewis)

Lewis calls these people "beautiful" those who have suffered. It reminds me of the beautiful feet of people who brings the gospel to people. The gospel is good news, and for those who have heard bad news, the gospel is perfect peace.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27)

Third, share about the healing process without forgetting the story of hurt. Learn to tell the story of our passageway through the valley of darkness. It is not for the purpose of re-living our grief and pain. It is the opportunity to reflect back and see once again that the Prince of Peace and Grace are with us even today. Imagine if there was no person such as Job who suffered. Imagine that no one had ever recorded the story of Joseph, who lived to tell about the faithfulness of God, turning evil into good. Imagine too that there was no Horatio Spafford who penned the beautiful hymn: "It is Well With My Soul." Helen Keller writes:

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it." (Helen Keller)

Yes! Balanced perspective. While it is ok to be grief-stricken for awhile, we need to move on. We need to embark upon a journey of hope, bringing goodness not only to others, but for the glory of God. Let me close with the chorus on one of the best songs to grieve and reflect with. Written by Laura Story, it tells of the song writer's personal struggle through her own spiritual darkness, when her husband was diagnosed with brain tumor. You can listen to this beautiful song here.

THOUGHT: 'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries. Note that views expressed are personal opinions of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of any organization.

Preparing for a Good End of Life

TITLE: PREPARING FOR A GOOD END OF LIFE
SCRIPTURE: Hebrews 11:22
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: July 5th, 2013

"By faith Joseph, when he was dying, made mention of the exodus of the sons of Israel, and gave orders concerning his bones." (Heb 11:22, NAS)

If a person dies at 100, his half-point was 50. If a person dies at 90, his half-point of life was 45. If a person dies at 80, his half-point life time was at 40. My dad died at the age of 70. His half point was 35. According to a United Nations study in 2012 about global life expectancy, the highest average life expectancy for men happens to be 80 years of age. For women, it is slightly higher at 87 years of age. That brings the longest average mid-point for human beings to be around 40 to 43 years. Living in Canada and with 79 years as an average life expectancy, I have already gone past my mid-point of 39.5 years of age! With many of us so eager to talk about "living well," we have unfortunately avoided the topic of "dying well." The truth is, we are all dying. As the clock ticks, so do our lifespan. In fact, I will venture to argue that the longer we live, the more we ought to be appreciative of the past, and to lay up treasures for things of greater and eternal value. That is why I am convicted about being Christlike. That is why I share my faith. That is why I blog and write regularly. If my writings can touch lives in some manner, and to help share and point toward hope for people, I think I have accomplished my aim.

We all like to talk about living well. For some reason, very few people like to talk about dying well. This week, I want to argue that in order to live well, we need to learn to think and talk about what it means to die well. This is especially so when we all do not know exactly when our end of life is going to be. It is better to be prepared than to be sorry that we are not prepared at all.



Source:LiveScience

Temptations

TITLE: TEMPTATIONS
SCRIPTURE: Mark 14:32-38
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: June 29th, 2013

32They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34“My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” 35Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. 36“Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” 37Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? 38Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”(Mark 14:32-38)

Yesterday, I caught an hour of the reality show, "What Would You Do?" It is about various scenario situations on whether people tend to do the right thing in the midst of temptations and self-gain. A typical episode will comprise a cast of actors and actresses where, one group will play a protagonist and another a victim of his taunting, complete with hidden cameras. Yesterday's scene was about how strangers react when someone finds a wallet, complete with cold hard cash. "Should I return it?" comes the protagonist's question to anyone sitting around him. While in general, there is a sense of people wanting to do the right thing, ie to return it to the Lost and Found, others are tempted by the money as well as the ease of not being found out. After all, what is wrong with just taking the money and quietly returning the rest of the wallet? While some strangers play along the moment they are offered a treat, like having the finder paying for his full meals, or giving the stranger a cut of the find, just to keep quiet, others are adamant that it is not a finder's keepers situation. For them, the owner may very well be worried. The wallet is not theirs in the first place. What about karma?

Temptations come in all shapes and sizes. We are all easily tempted, but that does not make us a sinner. It is when we give in to temptations knowingly that is the problem. Worse, we hook others along as our actions become fused with the temptation, making us a party to the evil scheming. One particular stranger was initially happy and supportive of the finder of the wallet, keeping the find. When confronted with lights and cameras, he changes tack, switching from black to white the moment the camera appears. Indeed, what would you do if you find a wallet that is full of cash? What if the cash runs in thousands of dollars? Will that affect your decision to return it? Or will you decide to return only part of it, and pocket the rest?

Temptations are much closer than we think. In fact, this week, I like to remind readers that temptations are always on a lookout for us. They are coming straight at us, coming to a vulnerability near us. 

1) Doing the Right Thing

We are all born in the image of God. Sin has tarnished this image and turn us away from God. As a result, we are getting from bad to worse. We are sinners needing grace and forgiveness. The trouble with many is not that they are sinners. The trouble is that in spite of their knowledge of their sinful selves, they continue to dabble in wrong doing without a care in the world. They proceed according to what they judge is best, even when it is clearly wrong. They try to rationalize away any action that leads to the ultimate self-gain, even when it means it is wrong. Take for example the one who seems to be sitting on the fence when asked whether one ought to return the lost wallet. The pure and righteous will stand firm that the wallet needs to be returned to the rightful owner. The selfish person will insist that it is a "finder's keepers" world. You find it, you keep it. I find it, I keep it. All is well as long as we all keep quiet about it.

The problem I find is the middle group that waffles and waits for something juicier to happen. This middle group has all the characteristics of a schemer at work. Maybe, this group is waiting until all security is clear before making a move. He is waiting until the timing is right so that he can pounce upon anything for self-gain. Maybe, the finder will offer him a cut of the find for the price of silence. He waits. He observes. He stays interested but keeps his cards hidden from the rest. He is physically uninvolved but mentally and spiritually, fully engaged in a world of temptation and personal gain.

All the great temptations appear first in the region of the mind and can be fought and conquered there. We have been given the power to close the door of the mind. We can lose this power through disuse or increase it by use, by the daily discipline of the inner man in things which seem small and by reliance upon the word of the Spirit of truth. It is God that worketh in you, both to will and to do of His good pleasure. It is as though He said, 'Learn to live in your will, not in your feelings.' (Amy Carmichael)

Lust is a temptation. Lust is that second look.

2) The Tempter and the World of Temptations

Whether it is Internet pornography or blatant theft in the streets, people who do wrong are always hiding or trying to hide. They put up a righteous front. They want to appear holy and pure. Yet, at the back of their minds, they sin terribly. Authors Arnie Cole and Michael Ross, in their book, "Tempted, Tested, True," share the following data about temptations in our society.

• Four or five people will face at least one temptation in a given day.
• Men encounter twice as many occurrences of temptation as women.
• A typical experience of being tempted lasts seven to ten minutes.
• Most people give in to at least one temptation each day.
• The average Christian feels spiritually stalled four months out of the year.

Sometimes we feel that we can do a better job than Adam and Eve. Some people, with a self-confident "holier-than-thou" attitude tend to believe that when faced with the forbidden fruit before them, they will never eat it. The truth is, we have often given in more than what we think.

Temptations. It's closer than we think.

3) Fighting Temptations Start Now

When Jesus instructs his disciples to watch and pray, it is simply because he understands the full extent of temptation and sin. Every second we are not preparing to fight, we are readying ourselves to lose. Every time we fail to pray, we are relying on our own strength. Every minute we believe we are at peacetime, we forget that spiritual warfare is happening right at our doorsteps. Perhaps, the battle has already started, and we are already very late in the game. Cole and Ross tell of their experience with a lady called Marco from Houston who shares honestly about her constant yearning for the forbidden stuff.

"I usually regret it, because I then feel like I'm not understood or am then more vulnerable. I've been betrayed too many times in the past. That's why prayer is so predominant in my life." (Arnie Cole, Tempted, Tested, True, Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House, 2013, p91)

Prayer is a predominant weapon of the spiritual life. The words of Jesus continue to point to this as a core weapon of choice. "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Fighting temptations start on our knees. The phrase "watch and pray" bring along two simultaneous actions: Watching and praying. It shows us that prayer is not a passive act of spirituality. It is very much dynamic and active. It is a way of keeping our eyes fixed on heaven, and at the same time maintaining a watchful eye on happenings on earth. For temptations do not switch off when we go into our prayer closets. Temptations remain lit up regardless of our praying times or positions. Like a predator constantly on a lookout for food, temptations are swimming all the time seeking out victims oblivious to its presence. The element of surprise is often the tempter's greatest weapon.

Temptations. It is a form of child's play with serious adult consequences.

4) Praying and Watching: Eyes on heaven and on earth

Watching and praying is Jesus' teaching for us to remain heavenly minded and earthly aware. When teaching his disciples to pray, Jesus teaches us to pray that God's will be done in heaven as well as on earth. In watching and praying, we are watching for God's will to be done everywhere we go. Unfortunately, the disciples near Gethsemane fail to do just that. They fall asleep at the most critical of times. When told to sit and wait for Jesus, they slept and became totally disconnected from the impending doom Jesus has to face. Such a behaviour is very prominent for the modern man too. Even in Churches, look at prayer meetings. Under the most ordinary circumstances, when there is not much major events happening, people shy away from prayer meetings. The moment a tragedy happens, people pack churches, like the aftermath of 9/11, or after some horrible events. The point of Jesus is this. We must always be watching and praying, not because of an immediate need or concern, but lest we fall into temptations. For temptations do not rear their ugly heads only at certain times. They flaunt their wares all the time. The 17th Century English Puritan John Owen gives this advice:

"I am a poor, weak creature; unstable as water, I cannot excel. This corruption if too hard for me, and is at the very door of ruining my soul; and what to do I know not. My soul is become as parched ground, and an habitation of dragons. I have made promises and broken them; vows and engagements have been as a thing of nought. Many persuasions have I had that I had got the victory and should be delivered, but I am deceived; so that I plainly see, that without some eminent succour and assistance, I am lost, and shall be prevailed on to an utter relinquishment of God. But yet, though this be my state and condition, let the hands that hang down be lifted up, and the feeble knees be strengthened. Behold, the Lord Christ, that hath all fullness of grace in his heart, all fullness of power in his hand, he is able to slay all these his enemies. There is sufficient provision in him for my relief and assistance. He can take my drooping, drying soul and make me more than a conqueror." (John Owen, Overcoming Sin and Temptation, Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2006, 132)

Temptations: Fight it like a man.

5) Practical Steps to Fight Temptations

Four Ways to Fight Temptations

My readers. Temptations lurk around us all the time. We need to be on our guard. Watchfulness must be supplemented with much prayer. Prayer must be accompanied by watchfulness. Both need to be maintained at the same time. The Christian life, if lived correctly is not about sitting back and relaxing away from the world. In fact, the best way to live in the world now, is constant prayer and watchfulness. For temptations are always on a lookout for weak and unprepared souls. The devil is not interested in our definitions of  varying degrees of sin. All he needs is to gain an entry into our souls, and he will work from there. Let me close with Cole and Ross' four keys to spiritual transformation in fighting the temptations of this world.

First, we need to engage the Bible daily. For if we are not reading or meditating on the pure Word of God, we are immediately vulnerable to the impure thoughts and exposure of this world. Second, we need to be aware of our own weaknesses, and to let God touch us in these areas. When battling evil thoughts, think of Philippians 4:8 which says:

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8)

Third, pray a lot, for prayer is essentially a relationship with God. Don't delegate God away to just a few minutes in our box we call, "Quiet Time." God is more than just our measly minutes we allocate within 24 hours. God is present with us at all time. In prayer, we remind ourselves of God's presence.

Four, be a part of a community to be accountable to. Jesus wants community, but the disciples are more interested in sleeping. As a result, Jesus has to go through it alone. We have the Church to be a part of. We can play a part by going as regularly as possible to pray for others. We can watch and pray together, that God's will be done everywhere we go.

My friends. Watch and pray a lot. In doing so, we are fitter spiritual soldiers. Not only that, in the power of Christ, temptations will flee.

THOUGHT: One of the most serious threats to the human spirit is boredom. Boredom is the breeding ground for wickedness. Bored people are easy targets of the flesh and the Devil. It is like putting a bull's-eye on your chest with a sign: "Tempt me. I'm easy!" Why? Because boredom is contrary to the natural, God-given impulse for fascination, excitement, pleasure, and exhilaration. (Sam Storms)


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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries. Note that views expressed are personal opinions of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of any organization.

Is Superman a "Type" of Jesus?

TITLE: IS SUPERMAN A "TYPE" OF JESUS?
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: 20 June 2013

It's officially Summer Holidays for my kids. As a mini-celebration, our whole family went to watch the latest blockbuster movie, "Man of Steel," (aka, Superman). It was a full house. My daughter met a friend who did not manage to get any tickets over the counter. Thankfully, we purchased our tickets online a couple of hours ago. Even then, despite being almost half an hour early, we had to split up our seating inside the packed cinema. Many people had reserved seats for their friends. Reluctantly, I sat at the third row from the front. We all enjoyed the movie despite the different seating arrangements. At least I got to see Clark Kent and Lois Lane up close and personal.

The special effects are stunning. The acting is professional. The storyline incorporates some of the best from the previous Superman films and is re-written to give viewers a bigger picture of how Superman was born, sent to earth, saved the world, and lived among human beings. It is somewhat like the first two Superman hits (starring the late Christopher Reeve) being reconstituted into one long almost two and a half hour movie. Of course, "Man of Steel" benefits from the latest in computer and digital media technologies. With highly advanced computer animation, computer graphics are rendered on-screen, so polished that viewers can hardly tell the difference between virtual reality and the real world. I admit. There are moments when I compare compare the comic strip superhero with the real Jesus of Nazareth. It seems like there is an intent right from the start to insert some kind of a Jesus-like Saviour image in this movie.

I was right. Almost.

The people in Hollywood know that since the recent successes of faith-based movies such as Fireproof, Courageous, Soul Surfer, and several others, there is a sizeable Christian audience that cannot be easily ignored. At the same time, they cannot do it too overtly lest it offends atheists and people of other faiths. The easiest way then is to incorporate it quietly in as secularized fashion as possible the themes. At the same time, they go loud when it comes to publicizing the movie to pastors and clergymen, so that they in turn can encourage their congregations to go see the movie and discuss the parallels between Superman and Jesus. A ministry resource has also been set up here for that purpose. It is a brilliant move. In fact, the producers of the superhero movie has reported box-office success, thanks in part to the megachurches in the US.

I am a little ambivalent with regards to comparing the role of Superman with Jesus. What I will try to do is to highlight in what way Superman is like Jesus, and in what way the movie is not.

Beware. There are spoilers from this point on.

Learning Patience In A Hyper-Culture World

TITLE: LEARNING PATIENCE IN A HYPER-CULTURE WORLD
SCRIPTURE: Colossians 3:12
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: June 13th, 2013

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (Colossians 3:12)

Have you noticed how your teen has become more easily bored? Even with the latest apps or technological gadget, not only are they less easily satisfied, they are also more ready to jump from one latest-and-greatest thing to the next even greater and even later thing. Welcome to the new world. A world in which people are increasingly overstimulated on their visual senses, that they are demanding things faster, more sensational, and more dramatic. One example is the movie. In the 60s, acts of violence are pretty much a slap on the backhand compared to what we are seeing nowadays. Previously, violence is about cowboys in a gunfight with Indians, or people engaged in fist fighting, etc. Nowadays, the violence on TV and the movies show gruesome images of heads blown off, bodies smashed up, and whole groups blown up with a horrific terrorist attack. I find sci-fi movies like "Starship Troopers" particularly difficult to watch. In the film, the director is quite liberal in the showing of human soldiers being literally ripped apart by alien insects. Video games are also increasingly more violent and visually bloody. "Common Sense Media" has listed the Top 10 most violent video games here. One does not simply fire a round of bullets. The player has in his possession, digital arsenal from bombs to splattering cannons, missiles and ferocious knives, anything to enhance the pleasure of killing the enemy. It seems like winning is not the only objective. Annihilation is. 

This week, I will reflect on the plight of an over-stimulated, hyper-saturated, and quick-gratification culture.

A) The Narcotic of Sensationalism

You see them everywhere. At the supermarket tills, at the convenience store, or at newstands all over the city. Sensational news reporting is here to stay simply because people are quickly and easily attracted by them. Sensational headings sell. Many of the biggest culprits are tabloids that substitute the ordinary with the sensational, making something bigger than what they actually are, just like plastic and cosmetic surgery on the face.  The purpose of the sensational headlines is to sell more papers. The problem is, it works. On the internet front, modern news websites entice people to click with engaging titles that deal with sexual scandals, death defying acts, violence and gore, out of this world headings, etc.  I have fallen victim to some of these attractive ads as well, some knowingly while others unknowingly.  For example, on AOL Mail, each time one logs out of his account, he will be automatically sent to a AOL front page containing multiple news sources from A to Z, from business news to sports, from celebrity gossip to weird happenings around the world.

Snapshot of aol.com (June 13th, 2013) (Credit: AOL)

Just take a look at the snapshot in the picture above. Sex sells. Beautiful women and large busts too. Even adding in some juicy stuff to an ordinary thing and you get additional clicks to please your advertising friends. With social media like YouTube and Facebook, sharing "Fear Factor" or "You Must Watch This" videos is so easy and convenient.

There is a friend I know who likes to post sensational videos on social media. He posts it so much that I begin to wonder whether he is addicted to such stuff. I call this the narcotic of sensationalism. Such a drug basically numbs us from feeling anything much about the ordinary. No longer is one satisfied with plain words. One needs pictures. One looks for multimedia offerings. One prefers stuff that goes straight into the bloodstream of hyper expectations. One expectation then leads to a higher expectation. One bullet is not enough. One expects a stream of bullets. In the movies, one missile is too gentle. One needs a ballistic missile that splits into multiple intelligent heat seeking devices that not just blow up, but wipe out entire cities. Hit TV series like 24 is another example of how violence becomes more and more pronounced with each season. I shudder when I watch how the hero Jack Bauer is able to take more hits to his physical body, and how the enemy is able to come up with more and more out-of-this-world feats.

With viral videos increasingly being linked to profits, Youtube currently hosts many videos that makes sensation the staple diet of many, relegating the ordinary pretty much to the sidelines, to be the exception rather than the norm. My concern is this. Are we becoming so hyper-saturated that our learning has become dependent on such narcotic of sensationalism?

B) The Death of Patience

The problem with sensationalism is this. It window dresses the ordinary with artificial stuff. The second problem is, it leads to the demise of patience. One popular quip marketed by certain medical professionals is this: "Be patient, not a patient." Having dealt with many cases of people speeding or driving recklessly, causing accidents along the way, they advise motorists to exercise a bit more patience on the roads. This is simply because many of these road accidents could have been easily avoided if people are a little more patient. That way, it reduces the number of patients that hospital staff have to deal with each day. My medical friends tell me that weekends are notorious for drunk driving incidents and road accidents.

I remember driving along the highway, observing the speed limit as best as I can. Along comes a speeding car quite a distance away behind from me. The driver swerves from lane to lane and finally tailgates me with flashing lights. It seems like he cannot wait for me to change lanes, and so he moves dangerously in and out the other lanes in spite of the lack of safety distance among the various vehicles. His action causes many other drivers to tap their brakes. You can tell that one act of recklessness leads to many drivers getting worked up and irritated. One bad thing leads to another.

Another case was that of an impatient driver waiting for a parking lot. For some reason, something made the driver very angry and he decided to do a speed reverse without much thought. As a result, he smashed at another vehicle that had just entered the car park. Society has a big problem with impatience.

C) Patience and Wisdom

The Great theologian Augustine of Hippo once said, "Patience is the companion of wisdom." Not only that, Jesus says in Luke 21 about the trials and tribulations that will come in the last days. Being able to wait upon the Lord's perfect timing is not only a virtue, it is survival too.

"In your patience possess ye your souls." (Luke 21:19, KJV)

What has patience got to do with wisdom? I believe there is something to do with time as well as the way that we are created. Life is not simply about listening. It is about intentional listening for things that truly matter. Recently, I watched a closing scene of the hit series "Castle." The current series had the two stars, Kate and Castle having a dating relationship. At the end of one episode, after cracking a difficult case, Kate asked Castle the question: "Castle, where are we going?"

Thinking that Kate was asking about what activity to do next, Castle proudly introduced his willingness to do a full body massage for his beloved Kate. If only Castle had listened more carefully at what Kate was asking. Like many women, Kate wanted to know what the future of their relationship is going to be. Will it be a just-friends relationship? Will it be leading to marriage? Where actually is their relationship going?

Unfortunately, Castle amid his cheeky smile missed everything by a huge mile. He had rushed too quickly to see things from his own perspective, that he had missed seeing things from Kate's perspective. We have a lot to learn when it comes to living as a responsible member of the community. Part of the problem in our culture is that we have replaced the important things with the less important stuff. Rabbi Harold Kushner writes with great insight about the purpose of life:

"The purpose of life is not to win. The purpose of life is to grow and to share. When you come to look back on all that you have done in life, you will get more satisfaction from the pleasure you have brought into other people's lives than you will from the times that you outdid and defeated them."

If in doubt, choose Community

We fail to practise patience enough because we have misunderstood life altogether, caring for ourselves instead of looking out for one another. Life is not about accumulating more and more possessions. It is about caring and sharing. It is about living for the sake of others. It is about looking out for one another. Instead of climbing up the ladder of independence, we need to be spending time building bridges of interdependence. For us in a hypersaturated world of sensationalism and quick-fixes, we need to pace ourselves by spending more time with one another. We need to learn inter-dependence and to cultivate the virtue of relying on community to help one another. Move away from the deceitfulness of self-reliance and independence. For if we fail to live as community, we are planting the seeds of loneliness. Patience can be cultivated when we live together, fight together, and learn together. Sensationalism paints over an artificial veil over human beings. Community living through patience and goodwill removes the artificiality and encourages authenticity.

Patience is a virtue. With patience, we are not easily enticed by the worldly and the sensational tabloid style reporting. We do not need to catch up frantically with the latest and the greatest. If we have patience, we will see less honking on the roads or reckless speeding. We see less heated tempers at carparks, and more livable lifestyle even in busy places. With patient listening, we see less misunderstanding in relationships and more communications and connections among loved ones. With patience, we cultivate a virtue that not only helps build bridges in communities, it pleases God.

If the future kingdom of God is likened to a garden, we will know that like gardening, relationships need time to build up. Patience is a virtue to help us do just that. So my friends, in a hypersaturated with of information and over-information, pause regularly. Take a step back. Smell the flowers. Turn off your internet. Notice your neighbourhood. Say "Hi" and pause to listen for conversation starters and bridge builders. That is how we grow to love a culture of neighbourliness.

THOUGHT: " Faith, and hope, and patience and all the strong, beautiful, vital forces of piety are withered and dead in a prayerless life. The life of the individual believer, his personal salvation, and personal Christian graces have their being, bloom, and fruitage in prayer." (E.M. Bounds)

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries. Note that views expressed are personal opinions of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of any organization.

Thinking Of Worship

TITLE: THINKING OF WORSHIP
SCRIPTURE: Ps 29:1-2
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: June 7th, 2013

Ascribe to the LORD, O mighty ones, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness. (Ps 29:1-2)

A pastor that I used to work with once told me to distinguish "singspiration" from "worship" for a Sunday worship service. The initial songs and choruses were deemed to be "singspiration" stuff which are light and lively. The later hymns and music are then considered suitable enough for "worship." At that time, I just took his words for it, that there is a difference between the different types of songs. I did not question his experience or choice of words. What I did is to keep it in my memory bank, to be reflected later on. Today, I think about the dichotomy of modern worship services and I shudder.

Why is there a need to call some songs "singspiration" and others "worship?" Are all choruses under the former category and hymns in the latter? Is there such a thing as "singspiration" in the first place? Is "singspiration" the kind of activity that is more about positive musical programming or a self-help activity to beef up our tired senses? In some Churches, they use children's songs. One example is the song "Happy All the Time."

HAPPY ALL THE TIME
I'm inright [point in], outright [point out],
upright [point up], downright [point down]
Happy all the time [clap with each word]
I'm inright [point in], outright [point out],
upright [point up], downright [point down]
Happy all the time [clap with each word]

Since Jesus Christ came in
And took away my sin I'm…
I'm inright [point in], outright [point out],
upright [point up], downright [point down]
Happy all the time [clap with each word]

We have a load of fun in doing this action song. When I look at it from a human standpoint, is it really true that one can be "happy all the time?" Maybe we are indoctrinating a fairy-tale like Christianity into our kids, for the world is certainly NOT filled with happiness all of the time.

As I think about it, the very separation of "singspiration" and "worship" is already wrong from the start. For when we call the entire Sunday service as "worship service," we need to let it BE the worship in every element of the service. In fact, the moment we get out of our beds, into the car, getting ushered, through giving, listening to sermons, and to the end of the entire service, we are already participating in various acts of worship. Romans 12:1-2 reminds us that our bodies are to be living sacrifices, to do what is holy and acceptable to God, letting them be our "spiritual act of worship." Call it light singing or heavy singing, what we do in the name of the Lord is to be labeled "worship." No more, no less.

This week, I like to reflect on some of the songs that we commonly use, that worship leaders need to be theologically aware and be focused less on style but more on substance; less on fluffy words but more on theological truths; less on selves but more on God. I will subsequently provide additional tips for worship.

A) Meekness and Majesty

Cultivating the Person

TITLE: CULTIVATING THE PERSON
SCRIPTURE: Psalm 27:4
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: 31 May 2013

"One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple." (Ps 27:4)

On Wednesday, I had the opportunity to listen to one of my favourite professors on spirituality, Dr Susan Phillips speak on the topic: "Spirituality of Cultivation: A Response to Disorders of Attention & Attachment." I got to meet several people at Regent College as well. I missed the place. For 90 minutes, I was enthralled by the whole atmosphere, with Phillips leading the way through her reflections on the need to cultivate an attentiveness to God, amid a complex culture of distractions. The idea is nothing really new, though the context continues to be more and more challenging. She talks about the linkage between social structures and psychiatric research which point out the rising challenges of disorders and inattentiveness in many people. In one study, watching broadcasting networks like television creates a "culture of expectation." For instance, it was found that in China, children who watch TV the most are least attentive to real life. Another report in America talks about the poor social skills that arise out of frequent TV watching.

"Studies show that too much television viewing can have adverse affects, such as more violent and aggressive behavior, poor school performance, obesity, early sexual activity, and drug or alcohol use. Children aren't engaging in the activities they need to help them develop their bodies and brains when they watch television." (University of Maine Cooperative Extension, Family Issues Facts, Bulletin 4100, p1)

A) Short, Quick, and Inattentive Culture

We live in a short-term, quick-tempered, and increasingly inattentive culture. Quick fix solutions are becoming the norm. Think of aspirin to give quick relief for headaches. I cannot help but notice that in technology, people are getting easily bored at a quickening pace. Having being wowed by the latest-and-greatest for so long, people tend to rise in expectations only to be let down when the best gadgets out there fail to rise up to such expectations. That is one reason why the powerful Apple company is in trouble. Having outdone itself through the iPad success and the iPhone phenomenon, the company is hard-pressed to come up with another industry shaping device. Without the iconic Steve Jobs to lead the way, the current CEO is increasingly on a hot seat.

One of the things that Phillips mentioned is the need to replace "communication theories" with tend to be adopted as magical solutions. Communication theories is like broadcast networks that diminish attention under the pretext of getting things done efficiently and quickly. In such a mode, there is hardly any incentive to develop any cultivation at all, let alone listening, contemplating, and praying. As long as one can get things done quickly, not having to lift a finger at all, or to exercise one's brains, people are happy and contented. Unfortunately, the side effects become harmful over the long term. Effects such as attention deficit, inattentiveness and inability to develop meaningful social relationships. One of the things that Phillips mentioned was the rise of organizations that thrive with people who have problems with attention span. Internet corporations are one glaring example. Knowing that the entrepreneurial spirit cannot be locked into a 9 to 5 time schedule, companies like Google, Microsoft, Yahoo, Facebook, Twitter, and the Internet titans are providing their employees the best possible climate for them to develop and innovate ideas. It is not surprising to find individuals with short attention spans able to work well in such an environment.

• Developers are free to test, introduce, modify, adapt, even abandon ideas at any time. 
• Employees are not bound by work hours, meaning they can get up in the middle of the night the moment they have an idea, and start innovating straightaway
• Employees have the means to work from anywhere, anytime, and anyhow. With wireless technology and the communications gadgets, people are free to connect to the Internet at anytime, even from the bathroom. 

The rise of social media like Twitter is a prime example of living a world of snippets and short attention spans. No longer required to write long essays with many words, Twitter allows (even restricts) users from writing too much. There is a 140 characters limitation in each Tweet.  Even long URLs (or website addresses) can be abbreviated with shortened addresses.

B) The Human Side Effect

As a result, as technology becomes more and more advanced, with greater channels to connect with one another strangely, more people are becoming disconnected, fragmented, and utterly lonely. In one study, it was said that heavy users of Facebook tend to be easily depressed. More disconcerting is the way people are running around in circles, creating an environment that resembles a circus. Just consider how some of these terms have been introduced into the modern language usage:

• We "juggle" our time (remember the circus clown who juggles multiple balls in the air?)
• We "swing" from place to place; (remember the trapeze entertainer?)
• We try to strike a "balance" (note how circus performers balance themselves on the line?)
• The software is the "magic." (Remember magic shows in the circus?)

The last statement is quite popular when I work with software professionals who have absolute faith in the programs and systems that they have developed. More importantly, Phillips has described a more serious condition: Performer-Spectator mentality.

This reminds me of the age-old statement by Shakespeare: "All the world's a stage. And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts,"

When we reduce our world to mere performance and spectators, there is hardly any human connection. There is no personal interactions. People come together with entertainment in mind. One provides the entertainment, while the others receive it. The cycle then repeats itself. In the recent decade, Phillips quote one research that estimates a 246% increase in inattentiveness in children; up to 30% increase in loneliness; and the rise of attractiveness of Eastern spiritualism to counter these effects.

C) Cultivating Attentiveness

How then do we cultivate attentiveness? Phillips suggests three things: Love, Truth, and Discipline. She suggests that we adopt "cultivation theory" where she talks about it being a "stalagmite theory" where the limestone of effects (attentiveness) get accumulated over time. All of these three can be provided in the practice of Christian spirituality.

As I think about the implications, I like to stay attentive to the psalm above about "one thing." Like Kierkergaard's famous work: "Purity of heart is to will one thing," the psalmist is clear about what he wants. He wants God. He does not just want to be in a place. He wants to be with the person of God. What makes the house of God special is not the house, but God who is in the house.

Like the use of the Presidential plane "Air Force One." Any plane can be "Air Force One," when the President of the United States is in it. The type of plane does not matter. Even the label of the plane outside does not determine the Presidential plane. It is the President's presence that makes all the difference.

The same thing is with heaven. Heaven is not simply a place. It is where God lives. The Psalmist wants to be where God is. He wants to be there all the days of his life. He wants to be there in perpetual worship, praise, and singing, seeking, and seeing God. For he knows that there is beauty to be appreciated. There is love. There is glory. There is safety.

Our modern lifestyle has become too distracting for our own good. In trying to upend one another, companies are stumbling over one another to come up with the latest and the greatest to win the customer. In trying to better their friends, consumers too are losing attention to the latest at a quickening pace. In the process, they lose themselves and their identity. They get detached when what they need is to be attached. They get distracted when what they need is attention. They crave belonging, but at the same time, their restless hearts prevent them from being contented. Here is an exercise I like to teach with regards to building attentiveness. Think of these two words: "Thank You."

Concentrate your thoughts and your mind on being grateful. Be thankful about your family, no matter the ups and downs. Be thankful about your job. Be thankful about your place in society. Be thankful for your history. Just be thankful. Let the gratefulness in you, relax the muscles, and feel your stresses of life go away.

The second is this. Direct your gratitude to the Giver of all things, Judge of all men, Maker of heaven and earth. He alone deserves to be thanked. Henry Ward Beecher once said: "The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!" Cultivate this gratitude, and you will sense how your life gets changed by God from the inside out. Today is not just another day. It is a day to give thanks. Learn from Brother David Steindahl in this classic video on gratitude.



Say "Thank You, my Lord and my God." That may very well be the best prayer to God this week, and every week.

THOUGHT: "Let us thank God heartily as often as we pray that we have His Spirit in us to teach us to pray. Thanksgiving will draw our hearts out to God and keep us engaged with Him; it will take our attention from ourselves and give the Spirit room in our hearts." (Andrew Murray)


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