When a Loved One Gets Cancer

TITLE: WHEN A LOVED ONE GETS CANCER
SCRIPTURE: Psalm 13
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: September 5th, 2015

"I have Stage One cancer."

Five words speak volumes. Five words strike fear. These five words are like five pebbles dropped into still waters, creating ripples of all kinds of emotions throughout the pond. In five words, all of our busyness and concerns flow back into perspective. Suddenly, life no longer is about jobs, reputation, or climbing the career ladder. Cancer is one of the most dreaded words ever to be uttered in any family. After hearing about it, what do we do?

This week, I heard news of at least two cases of people getting cancer. They were from people I know. It knocked me off my regular schedule. My prayer list just got longer. Like many people, I felt troubled. I didn't know what to do. Downhearted, I took it to the Lord in prayer. Tempted to ask why,

PSALM 13 (italics mine)

1How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
          How long will you hide your face from me?
2How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
          and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
          How long will my enemy (of cancer) triumph over me?3Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
          Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,4and my enemy (that cancer) will say, “I have overcome him,”
          and my foes (fears, anxieties, and pain) will rejoice when I fall.5But I trust in your unfailing love;
          my heart rejoices in your salvation.6I will sing the Lord’s praise,
          for he has been good to me.

Like many other psalms, this is a psalm of lament. It is a plea to God in prayer to help the downcast and the discouraged. It allows the heart to express to God the deepest longings of the heart, to share with God the hurts and the pains that one is going through. According to Walter C. Kaiser, ex-Professor of Old Testament and past President of Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, Psalm 13 is the lament of an individual who was hurting and suffering. There are at least 39 other psalms that can be classified as lament psalms. Instead of succumbing to continuous trumpeting of victorious songs and beating of the happy drums, lament psalms are used to capture the profound essence of what it means to be human. It makes one real and honest enough to confront the things that really matter. Kaiser adds:

"Suffering does not go away merely if we pretend it does not exist; it does exist and it does continue to hurt and cause suffering. Nor is there any sort of magic pill that can suddenly remove the heavy weight that suffering lowers on mortals’ spirits and shoulders. But the most comforting news is that where there is pain, grief, and hurt, there is God!....   The reason for suffering that is the focus of these laments can be attributed to three main causes: self, an enemy, or the Lord himself. In the lament, pain, grief, and suffering are given the dignity of language." (Walter C. Kaiser, "The Laments of Lamentations" in The Psalms, edited by Andrew J. Schmutzer and David M. Howard Jr, Moody Press, 2013, p112-4)

Facing Cancer

TITLE: FACING CANCER
SCRIPTURE: PSALM 13:1
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: March 12th, 2015

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” (Ps 13:1)

What do we do when our high hopes of faith clash with the harsh realities of life?

I remember being trained for evangelism years ago to share the gospel with people, to open up the Word of God to them, and to share my testimony with them. With step by step explanations and diagrams, I would lead individuals with questions, be engaged with them about the questions of life, and often concluding with a personal testimony of what life in Christ looks like. A typical flow would be something like sharing the powerful effects of faith on born again believers.

• “I used to be very hot-tempered, but since coming to Christ, I have mellowed.”
• “I was self-centered but since Christ came into my life, I have become more God-centered and other-centered.”
• “I was a very unhappy and dissatisfied person, until I met Christ.”
• “I once was lost, but now am found, was blind but now I see.” (John Newton)

I can also rattle off a list of blessings that people receive from time to time. It can be a huge salary jump or a triple promotion. It can be one’s book entering the list on the New York Times bestseller books. It can also be a surprise present from nowhere, or an answer to a poor missionary’s prayer. For the sick, people’s hopes rest on miracles. For the down and out, hopes rest on a quick turnaround or in extreme cases, a quick end to life. I am not saying that these are bad. No. I thank God for every benefit that comes from God. What I am concerned about are people who place the hope of such blessings as the primary purpose of faith, instead of the glory of God. For people who converted to Christianity on the basis of blessings, good health, and prosperity, the moment the perceived blessings stop, there is a high chance that they will leave the faith.