Reflections on Grieving

TITLE: REFLECTIONS ON GRIEVING
SCRIPTURE: John 11:35
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: June 12th, 2015

"Jesus wept." (John 11:35)

The Brave Expedition Team from TKPS
Photo Credit: malaysiastylo.com

The past two weeks have been a sober one. The unexpected earthquake (June 6^th, 2015) that rocked Sabah had hit home in many ways, in particular, the lives of people from 18 families from Malaysia, Singapore, China, Philippines, and Japan. It is heartbreaking to see young people as young as 12 who succumbed to injuries, falling rocks, and tragedies on Mount Kinabalu. The full list of victims can be found here. In Singapore, the Prime Minister declared that June 8^th would be a day of remembrance with state flags on all government building to be flown at half mast. The majority of the victims were from Singapore’s Tanjong Katong Primary School. The nine of them were student leaders and teachers on an “Omega Challenge” leadership training expedition organized by the school. The sense of loss cannot be described in words, only expressed in tears.

How do we grieve? It is important that we remember different ages grieve differently. In “A Necessary Grief,” Pastor and grief counselor, Dr Larry Michael distinguishes grieving from mourning. He says that grieving is essentially a “response to loss” that is experienced inward through thoughts and feelings. Mourning is an outward expression of grief. One can mourn with loud cries and visible sobs. When it comes to grieving, a lot of emotions can be locked up in an unknown territory inside. Due to the complex nature of grief, Michael points out several kinds of grief:

• “Nonfinite Grief” which is the loss of hope and future expectations. (Example, news of a loved one being diagnosed with chronic illness)
• “Anticipatory Grief” which is a state of getting ready for the impending transitions. (Example: A divorce or the last stages of a terminal situation)
• “Traumatic Grief” which is about unexpected deaths.  (Example: Sudden deaths, accidents, or tragedies like the Sabah quake)
• “Complicated Grief” which is how a sense of loss leads to dysfunctional behavior and depression. (Example: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, after a major setback)
• “Normal Grief” which is the typical reactions and everyday responses to a natural death of a loved one. (Example: Natural death due to old age.)

Praying Through Psalm 30 (For Nepal)

TITLE: PRAYING THROUGH PSALM 30 (For Nepal)
SCRIPTURE: Ps 30
Written by: Dr Conrade Yap
Date: April 30th, 2015

"I will exalt you, LORD, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me." (Ps 30:1)

(Photo Credit: BBC 2015)

O Lord, it's Nepal. What is happening there, You know best.
How do I exalt you in the midst of news like that? Can the wounded be lifted out of the depths?
Did the people of Nepal do something wrong to deserve all this disaster?
There is so much suffering and pain over there now. Lord, do something!
Let there be miracles in the midst of tragedy. Let there NOT the enemies of Nepal, wherever they are, gloat over the tragedy of Nepal.

"2Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me. 3You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit." (Ps 30:2-3)

Lord, You are able to help. Bring forth your compassion through the efforts of the nations who have pledged help. Enable them to send their best. Bring them from afar. Enlarge the capacity of the Nepali infrastructure to cope with the increased demand. Encourage the rescuers with good news. Heal the hurt. Strengthen the rescuers. Spare more lives. Let there be survivors who would call out, cry out, and shout aloud their location. Prevent more people from going to the pit.