Choices R Us

TITLE: Choices R Us
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 26 May 2010

MAIN IDEA: Ever felt helpless? Encountered hopelessness? In this life, there will be challenges. Some happen once in a while. Some occur regularly in different degrees. While we cannot control the kinds of problems that come our way, we can choose how we are to respond to any of them.

One of the most fascinating stories in the gospels is the meeting of Jesus and the lame man by the pool of Bethesda. The gospel of John reads:

A man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had already been a long time in that condition, He said to him, “Do you wish to get well?” (John 5:5-6, NAS)

What? Did Jesus ask the obvious? Of course, the blind would love to see. The dumb would love to talk. The deaf would want to hear. Surely, the lame would desire to walk. Why on earth would Jesus ask such an apparent question? The answer to this lies in Jesus’ profound observation skills.


A) With Eyes That See
Jesus sees not just a lame, handicapped man. The gospel writer says 38 years the man has lain in that condition. Think about that. What can 38 years do to a man? Probably, most of the productive and youthful years have been wasted. Jesus, who already knew about the history of this unnamed man, chooses not to take it for granted. He asks the question that tugs at the heart of the invalid man, “Do you wish to get well?”

From the Greek, Jesus’ question can be paraphrased as ‘Do you really desire to be made whole and healthy?” I like the NRSV rendition, which translates as “Do you want to be made well?” Jesus apparently knew that for the man ‘in that condition,’ the biggest problem is not the physical handicap. The bigger problem is a heart that is lethargic, languid, and lame. The lame man was given a choice. Look at the reply.

The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I am coming, another steps down before me.” (John 5:7)

This very answer from the lame man, tells us that he is no longer simply a lame man. He is filled with shame and prefers to play the blame game. Both are symptoms of helplessness and self-imposed hopelessness.

B) Helplessness: Lame, Shame & Blame
If the man is physically lame, his words reflect a lamer attitude. Why didn’t the man say a simple, ‘Yes?’ Why didn’t he put some positive attitude into his reply? Why did his answer reflect a state of helplessness rather than a heart of hopefulness? The man was given more than a question of fact. He was practically given a choice to choose healing. He fails to recognize that ‘not choosing’ is already a choice in itself.
I get a feeling that this man has a sense of hidden anger about his own physical handicap. He has unwittingly allowed his physical disability become like a virus that impairs his mental and emotional willingness to get well. In other words, escapism is his form of coping with his helplessness. He escapes into blaming others for entering the water before him. He escapes into his own shame of being handicapped. He escapes into his cocoon of self-pity. In other words, this man digs his own grave of helplessness, to bathe in his own pond of hopelessness. He displays this escapist pattern right before the Giver of Hope: Jesus.

C) Helplessness in Modern Society
I hear about helplessness from time to time. People often talk about the homeless situation in Vancouver, yet are lost as how to go about helping them. In political circles, the news continues to show failings in leadership, and it is common to hear statements from the man in the street that the government is corrupt in some way. Even in Church, there is a temptation to complain and be skeptical about new changes implemented. I hear of people saying, ‘Been There; Done That. What’s New?’ I notice cynics who are not only ‘bored’ by ideas, but are downright condescending on people who are energized and excited about change. Such things are symptoms of a mood of helplessness.

During my studies, I discovered the works of a Bangladeshi banker, called Muhammed Yunus. He is a 2007 Nobel Peace Prize winner, largely due to his Micro-Finance initiative to help the poor help themselves. In an interview, he shares about his early years of feeling helpless at seeing the poverty around him.

“I was teaching in one of the universities while the country was suffering from a severe famine. People were dying of hunger, and I felt very helpless. As an economist, I had no tool in my tool box to fix that kind of situation.” (Muhammed Yunus)

What did Yunus do? First he observes how the poor gets bullied by money-lenders. Second, he thinks of ways to help these people help themselves. Third, he develops a plan called ‘micro-financing.’ Essentially, micro-financing is a way to provide small loans to a group of people who are prepared to be guarantors of each other. Say there are 5 friends who borrowed $10 each from Yunus. If one friend defaults, the other 4 friends are responsible to pay the difference. Called the ‘banker to the poor,’ Yunus has become world famous for being able to help the poor help themselves. The Bangladeshi bank he founded is called Grameen Bank, which literally means ‘bank of the villagers’ is largely owned by the poor. It is a positive success story that has brought hope to many poor communities in Bangladesh.

D) Against Negativity: Sharing Hope

We live in an increasingly tough world. Sometimes, we are susceptible to bad news after bad, that affects our mood for hope. In times like these, let Jesus nip our negativity in the bud, just like how Jesus did to the lame man. Speaking with authority, Jesus called him to:

"Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." (John 5:8)

In three terse verbs, Jesus calls the man to ‘get up’ from his state of self-pity, ‘pick up’ whatever he has, and ‘walk.’ These three active verbs help snap the lame man into action. Thankfully, the man obeyed Jesus’ words.

Perhaps, for us as Christians, when we encounter challenges, let us not complain. Let us not blame others for our predicament. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, and listen to Him whisper in our ears: “Get up! Pick up whatever pieces you have, and come follow Me.”

Surely we can obey?

When the challenges in life come upon us, it is very tempting to swim in self-pity, or to hide our heads in the sand of shame like an ostrich in danger. Break out of our cocoons. Tear down the walls of self-pity. Let our light shine before men, that they may see God’s glory, through the way we live in hope. When the going gets tough, let go of any helplessness. When the challenges seem insurmountable, do not lose hope. For there is nothing, no temptation that can test us beyond what we can handle (1 Cor 10:13). It is a promise.

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (1 Cor 10:13)

Albert Camus, another Nobel Prize winner, says that "Life is the sum of all our choices." 

Do not be afraid to choose. Choose wisely. Choose well. Choose Christ. Choose to be a ‘pencil’ for God to use.


Thought: “I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.” (Mother Teresa)


Sabbathwalk.

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Courage to Believe

TITLE: Courage to Believe
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 18 May 2010

"You are always righteous, O LORD,
when I bring a case before you.
Yet I would speak with you about your justice:
Why does the way of the wicked prosper?
Why do all the faithless live at ease?" (Jer 12:1)

During times of hardship, injustice and disappointment, how do we continue to be courageous? How do we maintain a brave disposition when all the odds seem to be against us?

A story was told during WWII about the ruler of Denmark, after the country was overrun by the hated Nazi troops. The Danish head, King Christian X became upset when the Nazi flag was raised on one of the official government buildings in Copenhagen. He ordered the Germans to remove the flag immediately. The soldiers replied that as conquerors of Denmark, they do not take orders from the Danish. Instead, they give orders. When King Christian X retorted that a Danish soldier was on his way to take the ‘filthy flag’ down, the Nazis threatened to shoot anyone who attempts to touch the flag. In a remarkable display of courage, King Christian X then challenged the Nazis to shoot him, because he was going to personally take down the flag. This example of courage inspired many Danish people during one of the lowest points in their history.

A) Jeremiah’s Plight
The Prophet Jeremiah is one of the most courageous men in the Bible. Called the ‘weeping prophet’ by many, Jeremiah lived through turmoil and distress, during one of the most depressing times in Jewish history. He began his ministry since the days of King Josiah (640-609BC). His ministry continued during the reign of 4 other kings, namely Jehoahaz, Jehoakim, Jehoiachin, and Zedekiah, to the fall of Jerusalem. Jeremiah began his ministry on a high note (King Josiah’s reforms), and concluded with a miserable end (Fall of Jerusalem). Through it all, Jeremiah remained faithful. The passage above is part of Jeremiah’s prayer and tussle with God over what is happening. In times like that, we understand why Jeremiah complained about why the wicked and the faithless have all the good stuff.

Jeremiah’s ministry started positively, with God anointing him on his lips (Jer 1:9). He gave God’s warnings to Israel to repent (Jer 2-4). He warned them about the false religions, that they are worthless (Jer 7). He warned Israel about the punishments (Jer 8-10). Yet, people plotted against the prophet (Jer 11:18). Not only were the Israelites unfaithful to God, they planned evil against the prophet of God. Nothing seemed to be going right for the prophet. It was one of the hardest places to ‘do the right thing.’ How could anyone NOT weep?

B) Is Doing the Right Thing Worth It?
As I think about life in our modern society, how easy it is to become discouraged when things do not work out as we expect. We become depressed when even our Plan Bs and Cs fail. Our desire to ‘do the right thing’ in our offices, our social circles and our family interactions, diminishes especially when we see good ideas that do not bear fruit. There is a Chinese phrase [好心没好报];, which literally means ‘kindness does not beget good results.’ I suppose Jeremiah must be feeling this way, when despite all of his good intentions, not only do the Israelites ignore his warnings, they want to hurt him as well.

Last month, there was a report by USAToday, about a woman assaulted by an attacker in New York City. A homeless man, Hugo Tale-Yak came to the aid of this damsel in distress. In doing so, the Good Samaritan was fatally stabbed by the vicious attacker. What is even more troubling is that for more than one and a half hours, none of the passersby along the street called for help. People simply minded their own business. Is it worth it, to save a woman’s life, and losing one’s own? Does it make sense for Hugo Tale-Yak?

Chances are, there will be people who dismiss this homeless man as having ‘nothing to live for’ in the first place. Others may claim ‘not to know’ thinking that the man was simply ‘sleeping on the streets.’ Still some might be afraid whether this man sprawled on the ground can still hurt people. Whatever the reason, this incident is troubling. More troubling is that there are many instances which reflect a similar behaviour. Think about an innocent person being bullied inside a subway train. Think about a physical bully happening on the streets. Think about an unreasonable act of verbal abuse at the shop counter by an irritated customer. Is it worth it to risk one’s life, to stand up for the right thing?

Recently, I watched the local news on Canadian TV about another Good Samaritan recovering from stabbing wounds obtained while trying to help a total stranger, fend off another violent attacker. In the interview, he showed viewers the deep cuts and slashes on both his face and his body. The stitches he received highlight a brutal and senseless assault on him, while trying to save someone totally unrelated to him. Is it worth it? Remarkably, the man replied that if he is in a similar situation next time, he would do it again? Why? It is because he has been brought up to do the right thing.

I sat there amazed. How rare it is for a person to stand up for what he believed in, even if it means endangering his life. CS Lewis once said:

“Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” (C.S. Lewis)

This man passed the test of what he believed. What about us? How authentic our faith is, will be made known during moments of trial and tribulations. Will we pass the test when our faith is under pressure?

C) Courage Under Pressure
Many of us live in a cosy comfortable environment. As we climb the social strata, we rise in better living conditions and material gains. The question is, what about our inner selves? Are we growing inside, even as we accumulate outside? Are we progressing internally, even as we are prospering externally? There is a good chance, that some of us are having ‘stunted’ growth. Stunted in the sense that we develop a lop-sided growth. We are good at collecting and receiving stuff; but poor in giving away things to the needy. We are stunted when we say one thing and act another. We are stunted when we claim to have courage, but fail to exercise it when the need arises. Our growth is stunted when we become hearers only, and not doers of the Word. Stunted growth is a classic form of self-limitation because of fear, doubts and a lack of faith.

When our deep beliefs are questioned, how we respond reflects the kind of faith we have. Is it a full faith, or a half-way faith? Is it an All-weather-proof faith or a fair-weathered faith?

Continuing our earlier story, King Christian X of Denmark proceeded to remove the German flag. Confused, and fearful of punishment for shooting a king, the Nazi soldiers meekly proceeded to remove the flag. It was a small victory for the Danish king, but a big one for morale.

However, this is not the only story about this courageous king. Another time, the Nazis were trying to round up more Jews to be exterminated; they ordered the Danish Jews to wear an armband to distinguish themselves from the rest of the conquered Danish population. In a courageous show of defiance, King Christian X took an armband and wore it prominently on his arm. Furthermore, he hopped onto a horse and rode through the streets of Copenhagen, declaring that all Danish citizens were equal, and the armband symbolized the Star of David. It is because of courage like this, that Denmark was one of the few European countries to have a very low number of Jews massacred by the Nazis. Compared to more than 3 million Jews murdered in Poland, only about 60 Jews were killed in Denmark.

D) Believing Requires Courage
What is the lesson for us? Simply put, when our faith is under threat, let our courage do the walking. Let our faith and courage do the talking. Let us walk the talk, even as testify about our faith. Let us maintain a firm exercise of our faith courageously. It is better to die with courage, then to live in fear.

My readers, have you been depressed lately? Have you encountered disappointments? Perhaps there is a time to hide behind our closets. Perhaps there is a time to cover our heads and sleep away our troubles. Perhaps that is the preferred way to approach life for the moment. Avoidance.

Consider this. Maybe, it is time to take courage. It is time to live by faith. It is time to take up the Cross of Christ, and courageously follow Christ. Maybe, living by faith may look difficult, but when it is practiced, we bury our fears and let our faith do the work. The time to do the work of Christ is always right now. Faith is the courage to believe. Belief is faith courageously practiced during times of testing.

Thought: “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” (Winston Churchill)

sabbathwalk

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

True Blessings

True Blessings

Written by: Conrade Yap

Date: 12 May 2010

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” (James 4:3)

MAIN POINT: We pray for blessings equal to our willingness to BE a blessing. 

Before the Millennium, a young seminary student was searching for answers, for some sense of direction in an uncertain future. He turned to a relatively obscure verse in 1 Chronicles 4, where there was a little genealogy of the Judah tribe.

Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, "I gave birth to him in pain." Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request. (1 Chronicles 4:9-10)

Out of his misery, he prayed this same prayer, now famously known as the "Prayer of Jabez (POJz)" This prayer was written and published in 2000. The following year, it became a bestseller, with more than 9 million copies sold, and it won prizes in the Christian publishing industry. Bruce Wilkinson became an overnight star. Now there are versions of the POJz for others, like teens, for women, for children, for adults etc. I have heard of Wilkinson since the days of “Walk Thru the Bible.” Then there is the “Dream Giver” (read my review here) which is a compelling narrative about how we need to seek God to learn about his dream for us. These pale in comparison to the success of the POJz.

A) What is the ‘Prayer of Jabez?’

It is a prayer that promises to help one ‘break through to the blessed life.’ In other words, one’s potential can be realized via seeking God with a little prayer, that potentially releases God’s immense pleasure through favor, power, protection and all kinds of ‘blessings.’ Small price, big rewards seem to be the overarching theme of the book. As I reflect on such a formula, no wonder the book is a resounding hit! Who would not like to pay a little bit, and receive a whole bunch? It is tempting to go overboard. In our value-conscious economy, we can be tempted to bring in commercial methods into our spiritual domain.

• Buy one, get two free;
• Three for the price of one;
• Small price, big rewards;
• Why pay when we can pray?

The problem comes when we ask for blessings with an intention to HOARD them. When this happens, it neutralizes the benefits of the POJz.

B) The Problem with the POJz

In many Christian circles, the word ‘blessing’ is synonymous with material providence. It is increasingly linked to financial numbers as well. A businessman says that the LORD has ‘blessed’ him with a car. A sales executive can say that God has blessed her with a greater number of customers that month. A CEO says that he has been blessed with new business growth and they are recognized by the Board of Directors for a good performance that year. Modern use of ‘blessings’ have this common element. The majority uses of ‘blessings’ almost always revolve around the receiving of material stuff. The more one receives ‘stuff’ the more one uses the word ‘blessings.’ Such a view I think will devalue the meaning of ‘blessing.’

As I read Genesis, there is a strong sense of God wanting to bless the surrounding nations through Abraham and his descendents. Genesis can be read broadly in two chunks. The first chunk is a macroscopic view from the beginning of time to the death of Terah (Gen 1-11). The second chunk is a microscopic view of a particular family in Israel, namely Abram’s. Just like the LORD speaking the world into being in Genesis 1, the LORD outlines Abram’s purpose in life in three crisp verses (Gen 12:1-3). Studying these three verses will yield up a remarkable use of the word ‘bless’ or ‘blessing.’

• “And I will bless you. . . . And so you shall be a blessing” (Gen 12:2)
• “And I will bless those who bless you” (Gen 12:3a)
• “And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” (12:3b)

C) Blessed to BE a blessing

One way to understand blessing in a broader context is to see it in terms of being blessed for a reason. In other words, when we pray, and when we receive, we must also pray for the wisdom to steward what has been given to us. The LORD speaks to Abram and emphasizes this twice! In Gen 12:2, Abram is blessed to be a blessing.

I believe that when we pray, we do not simply ask God to give us stuff. Those things are important. Mature believers will learn to go beyond asking and receiving. Note Jesus’ teaching on prayer in Matthew 7.7-8 and we see a general progression. Ask and we shall receive. Seek and we shall find. Knock and the door will be opened to us. Mature believers will seek out ways to use what they have received in order to find God’s will for our gifts and talents. As a young child, we ASK and we receive. As we grow into young people, we SEEK out opportunities to please God, and these opportunities will be found. As we become adults, we gather up courage to KNOCK on doors asking others if we can bless them, if we can do things for them, or help them. The opportunities will surely open. That is God’s promise. However, if we were to stubbornly apply our 1-Dimensional Christianity all the time, we will never grow. We will look inward, become self-conscious, and gradually live our lives expecting the whole world to revolve around us.

We must break out of our egoistical mold. We need to pray that God will help us move beyond selfish asking toward selfless seeking out opportunities to give. When we pray, ‘Bless me,’ remember to pray ‘Help me to bless others’ as well. It is like a lock and key combination. When God gives us a ‘lock,’ and we receive it with open hands and glad hearts, ask God for the ‘key’ as well, which is the purpose of such a gift.

Abram receives this Word from the LORD, that when he is blessed, he is to become a blessing to others as well. I do not want to be overly critical of the POJz. Wilkinson has also talked about the enlarging of one’s life so that one can become a ‘greater impact’ for God. In this sense, I credit Wilkinson for being aware that this prayer can become too self-focused.

D) One Way Traffic

As I contrast the Prayer of Jabez with the Prayer of Jesus, I cannot help but feel that Wilkinson’s POJz is  too single-traffic minded. ‘Blessings’ seem to be associated with the gospel of more-and-more. Is God restricted to bless a person only with maximum capacities? If so, a person receiving 1 jacket is less blessed than a person receiving 100 jackets? No! If the POJz leads people to think of blessings in terms of ‘enlarging,’ ‘supersizing,’ ‘increasing’ and material extensions, we would have unwittingly limited God.

When we pray to God, we need to be willing to let God bless us with plenty, as well as with little. Sometimes, the best blessing God can ever give to us is NOT to answer our prayers. I personally believe that whenever we pray, we make it a 2-pronged prayer: the PETITION as well as the PURPOSE.

E) Prayer of Jesus

The Prayer of Jabez has encouraged many people. Wilkinson should be applauded for providing an encouragement for Christians to pray and to seek God. For all its merit, we must not forget a much better prayer example in Jesus. We are not followers of Jabez, but disciples of Jesus. Hence, given our benefit of having the entire Old and New Testaments available in our hands, we need to learn to pray more like Jesus, with the POJz as a supplement. Be careful not to reverse it. The table below contrasts Jabez and Jesus.

DIFFERENCES	Prayer of Jabez	Prayer of Jesus
Frequency	Just one verse in 1 Chronicles	All over the gospels, and NT
Request	Prayer for ‘increase’	Prayer regardless of ‘increase’
Requestor Condition	Jabez ‘more honorable’ than his brothers	Jesus ‘perfect and holy’ than any other human
Final Answer	God granted his request.	God did not take his cup of suffering away

Remember that God gives us so that we can BE a blessing to others. There is only so much that we can consume. If we hoard our things, they will decay and collect dust. Why not learn to seek out opportunities to give away what God has given us? Better still, when we ask for blessing, pray for the willingness and enthusiasm to bless others with what God gives.

Let me leave you with the words of Etiene de Grellet, a 19th Century Quaker missionary,

“I shall pass through this life but once.
Any good, therefore, that I can do

Or any kindness I can show to any fellow creature,

Let me do it now.

Let me not defer or neglect it,

For I shall not pass this way again.”

Thought: Sometimes we tend to wait to be ‘blessed’ before we attempt to bless others. Perhaps, we have ALREADY been blessed (given the lock), and greater blessings will not come, until we exercise what we have (exercising being the ‘key’) to bless others.

sabbathwalk

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Living Tomorrow's Hopes Today

Title: Living Tomorrow’s Hopes Today
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 5 May 2010

Main Idea: If not today, then when?

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” (Gal 6:9-10)

I remember Kendal sitting at the front checkout desk of the big spanking brand new library at Regent-College. She has a natural smile and makes an excellent front desk person to help library patrons check their books out. I work at the library too, supporting the computer systems that keep the catalogs and other systems up and running. Sometimes, I interrupt her duties in order to work on the front-desk computer. When nothing else exciting is happening, we chat. Kendal is at that time newly married to a fellow Regent student, also working at the library. Soon, Kendal gives birth to a beautiful baby boy.

Just this week, I hear that Kendal has gone home to the Lord. It was April 2010. ‘Shocked’ is an understatement. My heart goes out to David, her husband, and also to Isaac, the young toddler. I never expect Kendal to leave this world at such short notice. In a way, there is a tint of remorse in my heart. I ask:

“Have I said a kind word to her? Have I blessed her previously? Have I prayed for her and her family? Have I done a good deed today in the Name of the Lord?”

Unfortunately, ripples of regret do little to comfort the sudden news splash. This week, I feel disturbed as I ask myself if I have been missing opportunities to do good, especially to those of the household of faith.

Have I done a good yesterday, that I will be thankful today? Have I made the fullest use of my opportunities then, to love people, for I may never get the chance to care for them next time? Like Helen Rowland says:

"The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity."

A) I AND THOU
Martin Buber, Jewish philosopher is best known for his book entitled “I and Thou.” The circumstances that surround the writing of the book, “I and Thou,” stems from a tragic event. Born in Austria, he came to Palestine in 1938, before the horrible events of World War II in Europe. About that time, a young German soldier came to him for advice. This young man was a pacifist at heart, bent against fighting any war. He had just been drafted to serve the Nazi army, and he could not consciously agree to becoming a soldier of war. He came to Buber for advice. Unfortunately, Buber was too engrossed in his own work, and quickly dismissed him, saying something like:

“Why are you bugging me? Do whatever you think is best.”

Disillusioned, this young man subsequently took his own life.

The news shocks Buber. Upon re-examining himself, he realizes that he is too selfish. He needs to become more other-centered instead of self-centered. He wants to learn to look out instead of looking in. The result is a book, that not only turn his life around, it made him famous too. “I and Thou” essentially talks about relationships. Buber says that there are 2 kinds of relationships; one that sees people as ‘objects’ or I-It, and the other that sees people as ‘subjects,’ or I-You.

B) OBJECTS (I-It) and SUBJECTS (I-You)
In I-It relationships, we treat people well only when they are a means to our ends. When we see people as objects, it is like asking:

• “What use does this person (it) has for me?”
• “What can I gain out of this person (it)?”
• “How do I exact maximum leverage from her (it)?”

Buber muses:

“In other words, insofar as a human being makes do with the things that he experiences and uses, he lives in the past, and his moment has no presence. He has nothing but objects; but objects consist in having been.” (Martin Buber, I and Thou, NY: Charles Scriber, 1970, p63-64)

When one uses a person like an object, that person is likened to an inanimate object, dead in the past. It cannot live in the present or the future, unless a new ‘use’ appears. Such an attitude is deplorable, even inhumane. I think about my relationships. If I go look for a friend only because he/she has something I want, I will be treating that friend as an object.

On the other hand, in I-You relationships, we look beyond ourselves to embrace what it means to be humans, not machines. We ask:

• “I know how I feel. How about you?”
• “This thing does not mean much to me. I am interested however about what it means to you?”
• “Can I help you?”

Society has often reduced us to a measly number, like our age, or our weight and height. It categorizes us numerically based on things like our sex or ethnic group. In censuses around the country, we get reduced to a miserable statistic. Worse, if the neighbourhood we are in is too small, policy makers will conveniently ignore us, in favour of a bigger town a few miles down the road. This world runs on numbers, and numbers turn people into objects.

C) Cultivating a I-Thou Relationship
How do we cultivate a I-You relationship that sees one another as people first, people second, and people third? Does that mean we cannot ask for favours from anybody?

No. I am not saying that we cannot seek out help from people. What I am saying is that we need to learn how to behave as people, by first connecting ourselves with the Divine God. When we are sinners, we are prone to using people as means for our own ends. We need to repent. We need to ask God to forgive us, and to renew us to become I-You people instead of I-It machines. The way is to cultivate a I-THOU relationship.

This is because, unless we learn to accept the grace of God, that God is our first neighbour, we will find it hard to practice sacrificial love and extend grace. For man is empty. Man is sinful. Man has nothing to offer in the first place. That being the case, man needs God to fill him up. Man needs to be reconciled with God. Then they can be reconciled to each other. As we learn of Jesus, and his sacrificial love, we will want to follow Christ, to be the person that Christ created us to be in the first place.

Then and only then, we have something to give to others, especially our fellow neighbours on earth.

If we do not have a healthy relationship with God, we will be seeking out the world to fill our empty tank. We will be searching the globe for inferior supplies, like seeking waters that do not quench, or food that does not satisfy our hunger.

I cannot emphasize this well enough. Without God, we can do nothing.

D) Relationships is like Planting Seeds
Friends, what are our relationships made of? Is it made of objects where people around us are given to us to satisfy our wants? Is the wife there merely to satisfy the cravings of the husband? Is the husband there to merely provide the financial income to pay bills? Is the friend a friend only when he/she does what WE want? Do our children exist simply to do what parents want them to do?

No! Let us start with repentance toward God. We love because Christ first loved us. We forgive as Christ has forgiven us. We serve because Christ has served us. Draw near to God. He himself will draw you near to Him. In this living relationship, as we lift Christ up high, let us rejoice to see Christ draw all men to him. If God be gracious, may God use us as a conduit to direct people’s attention and focus to God. then we learn to see relationships with new eyes.

At a recent seminar in North Carolina, Billy Graham and his wife Ruth were celebrating their 60th Anniversary. Someone asked Billy about Ruth’s struggles over her with her health problems. Billy replies with twinkling eyes:

“Ruth is doing just fine. She’s in a wheelchair now and can’t get around too well. So we continue our romance with our eyes." (quoted in Kathie Lee Gifford’s Gentle Grace, MI: Inspirio, 2004, p148)

Instead of looking at the faults or the 'have-not's, why not look at the merits, and the 'have's of the people we meet with? We do not need to look at the faults of fellow humans, and complain about them. We can learn to see with the eyes of love, seen through the eyes of God. Like Billy Graham, why should we despair over the agony of seeing Ruth's handicaps? Instead, we can still encourage one another with twinkling eyes. Such eyes reflect a healthy inside, even while our outside is weakening or decaying.

In this way, let us not look back with regret over the things we have failed to do. Let us look back with thankfulness. Let us look forward with hope. For the present, let us be faithful to God, by being faithful with our time, our resources, and our readiness to love, to care and to pray for each other.

I pray for Kendal’s family. I thank Jesus for the life she has lived on this earth. May the Lord’s peace be with her family. Most importantly, Kendal’s passing has taught me, that I need to love all as much as I can love NOW, to serve all as much as I can serve NOW, and to relate to all, as much as I can NOW. For those of us who procrastinate, and frequently says not-yet, let me ask: “If not today, then when?” Tomorrow may never come. Let us instead live our present days, in a manner that expects Jesus will come soon.


Thought: The fruits of tomorrow will come from the seeds of TODAY. Have you planted a loving relationship today?


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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Worry

TITLE: WORRY
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 28 Apr 2010

My Church recently ended the 'Sermon on the Mount ' sermon series with a reminder to build our house on the rock, and not on sand. This week, after the service, I had my usual morning coffee in church, followed by a discussion with a group of keen adults, wanting to explore more on the Sermon on the Mount, and reflecting on the morning message. I kicked off the meeting with a question:

"Of all the teachings of Jesus, recorded in the Sermon on the Mount, which was the most difficult or challenging?"

I guide the group through Matthew 5, 6, and 7, and highlight key points so as to jiggle all of our memories. One say that listening is a challenge itself. Another say that loving enemies is tough. Still another say that putting into practice any of them is tough. A brave soul manages to squeeze in a statement saying that ALL of Jesus' teachings are tough. One said with a heavy heart that it is worry that is hard. Finally, the group spends a substantial amount of time on the 'worry' theme in Matthew 6:25-34.

Is it alright to worry? The stately man calmly shares that he worries a lot. While the specifics are not revealed, I know that most of the worries come about because people care. It is when we care for a friend or a loved one, that we worry about their well-being. A Church member recently asked me to pray for someone strickened with cancer. With cancer comes fear. With fear comes anxiety. With anxiety comes depression. The emotions are hard to handle. When we hear of a loved one getting a terminal disease, how are we not to worry?

A) When the Darts of Worry Hits Close to the Heart
It is a tough question. In fact, struggling with these hard issues, especially when it hits close to our relationships, can be nerve wrecking. It can test our faith. It can push our resolve. It can stretch our financial and emotional resources. I think of my father, who has suffered a stroke. It is hard for him to have to depend on others to feed him, and to assist him in nearly everything. From morning to night, from one meal to another, from physical movement to bowel movement, nothing can be done on his own, unless assisted by another person. I thank God that my mum and a domestic helper are able to be there for him. Sometimes, with a worried frame of mind, I start to think,

• "How is my father doing? He must be feeling really lonely and helpless."
• "How is my mum coping? She must be really exhausted from all these caregiving duties."
• "How are my family finances? Will they be able to manage from month to month?"

Honestly, these things trouble me. That is why I can empathize and appreciate when people in my church share about their struggles over worries. I cast my cares on God through prayer. I encourage my mum with occasional financial help. She knows I do not earn much. She does not expect much from me financially.

B) What Can we do about Worry?
Firstly, we need to acknowledge that worry in itself is not a sin. It is part of being human. Even if we do not claim to be worriers, that does not erase the fact that we are sinners, and can sin terribly anytime. If we were to claim that worry is a sin, then we will be bogged down by sin always. Note that it is not the worry per se that is sin, but the preceding idolatry behind the worrying facade. Just before Jesus tells his disciples not to worry in Matthew 6:25, look at the preceding verse.

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." (Matthew 6:24)

Idolatry is sin, manifested in worry. In other words, when we worry, it is because we try to solve things on our own intelligence, do things on our own abilities, and trusting in our own strengths. Any attempt to trust anything other than God is idolatry. We can make idols out of our own self. Worry, if it is a result of idolatry becomes fodder for sin. Worry is the root of many evils.

Secondly, when we worry, take heart, for it is often because, we-worry-because-we-care-deeply. Rather than to condemn another person for his anxiety, why not acknowledge that he cares. Like a mother who worries over her sick child, or a father who worries over his missing daughter. It can also be a boss who worried for his colleagues' safety at a foreign country, when he heard about riots there. It could be a pastor worried about his flock's spiritual needs. Many of these 'legitimate concerns' can appear in the form of worry and anxious moments. So, worry if it is due to a heart that cares, is alright. The problem is when we allow this state to continue without end. Such worry becomes sin, when we attempt to carry them all by ourselves. Instead of casting our cares upon Jesus, we carry our cares on our own back. When this happens, are we serving God, or serving idols?

Thirdly, look at one of Jesus's prescriptions for worry.

"Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more than they?" (Matthew 6:26)

Hello? Did Jesus make a mistake? Is Jesus telling us to look at birds?

C) BIRD-WATCHING: An antidote for the self-absorbed

I like to take walks in my neighbourhood. Often I see squirrels running around looking for nuts. A familiar black squirrel is frequently seen rummaging around a garbage bin. They are pleasant, and sometimes humourous to look at. Above them are birds chirping away. As I observe these flying creatures' gift of flight, and their freedom from the cares of this world, I cannot help but be amazed at the privilege of simply being a bird. Their biggest treasure appears to be the freedom from worry.


What is Jesus teaching us when he recommended bird-watching? I can only guess. An immediate benefit is actually the shift of focus from self to outside of ourselves. When we start to look outward, we stop looking in. When we worry, we tend to become inward-conscious, and lose our sensitivity to external concerns. Self-absorption is usually one of the first steps down the ladder of depression. The moment we step out of our individualistic coccoons, we see things with a fresh perspective.

I remember a time when I was struggling with my Hebrew language. After many torturous hours of memorizing and practicing, I still find it mysterious and perplexing. When I lock myself in my room to study Hebrew, I can get depressed and discouraged. The moment I step out of my room, and start venturing into the library, or take a walk along the corridors of my college,  I see a distinct shift inside me. I see that there are many students, just like me. I realize I am not alone in this Hebrew nightmare. Imagine my utter astonishment, to realize that there are other students who are in worse shape than I am!

Bird watching does work wonders. In this tough economic times, this can translate into savings as well, as we avoid buying expensive prescription drugs to calm our nerves. Go watch a movie with a friend. Take a walk. Spend time talking with a loved one. Drink a cappucino. Take a break. Photograph a bird. Read a good book. There is a Swedish proverb that is worth pondering on.

"Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow."

How very true. We often let the small little things in our life to worry us to death with their long shadows. Cast our cares (and our worries) upon Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith. I like these words from the song 'He Is My Peace.'

"Cast all your cares on Him, for he cares for you;
He is your Peace, He is your peace."

Worries are part and parcel of being human. While it is not a sin to worry, allowing ourselves to wallow in self-pity is not only unhelpful, but can easily lead us down the path of sin. Worry may not in itself be a sin, but it can dangerously lead us down the path of sin. Remember, if we are not trusting God, we are trusting idols. There is no middle ground.


Thought: "That the birds of worry and care fly over you head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent." (Chinese Proverb)


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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

A Lesson Behind Natural Disasters

Title: A Lesson Behind Natural Disasters
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 21 April 2010

“Give portions to seven, yes to eight, for you do not know what disaster may come upon the land.” (Eccl 11:2, NIV)

MAIN POINT: The folly of procrastinating on our promises.

On April 14th, 2010, a volcano in Iceland erupted, spewing out tonnes of hot lava and emitting thick dark plumes filled with deadly ash. Many people have already been affected, especially air travel to and from, as well as within Europe. The name of the volcano itself is a tongue twister When I listen to newscasters struggling to pronounce this unusual name, I break into laughter. According to native Icelanders, ‘Eyjafjallajökull ‘ is a six-syllable name that sounds like ‘ai-yah-f'got-my-yogurt.’ Even if we live thousands of miles away from this hard-to-pronounce volcano name, many of us will know friends and loved ones affected by it. Airlines have cancelled flights. Passengers are stranded at airports and many are financially strapped while waiting out the delays. For businesses, the financial losses are mounting. For families, it can be a long anxious wait for loved ones to return. Jokes are already circulating on the Internet about this volcano. Some of the humorous ones are listed below.

• Some in America are accusing Iceland of harbouring a ‘weapon of ash eruption.’
• “Iceland needs cash, not ash;”
• “Iceland’s last wish is for its ashes to be spread all over Europe.”
• “Waiter, there's volcanic ash in my soup. Don’t you know it's a no-fly zone.” (My favourite)

A) A Call to Recognize Future Uncertainty
Jokes aside, the question I want to ponder this week is: “Knowing that our future is so easily shaped by unforeseen circumstances, why procrastinate on doing good works? Why delay in keeping our promises?” This is the essence of the Scripture verse above.The Book of Ecclesiastes belongs to a genre called the ‘Wisdom books.’ The writer refers to himself as the ‘Teacher.’ Some scholars say that the book was written sometime in 940BC, way before the Greek culture reaches the Jews. This means that the 'Teacher' does not have access to Greek literature, which later educated Jews would have possessed. Thus, it is very commendable that at such an early period, that the 'Teacher' can derive such profound insights.

After personally witnessing the futility of pleasure, education, work, riches, even wisdom itself, the ‘Teacher’ bemoans the futility of life in general. Toward the end of Ecclesiastes, the ‘Teacher’ comes one full circle to acknowledge that despite all of these meaningless activities on earth, he is still impressed by the fruits of wisdom (Eccl 9:13). Thus, it is important for us to read Ecclesiastes and contextualize it from beginning to end. The ‘Teacher’ makes several conclusions, one of which is the futility of trying to predict the future. Eugene Peterson renders it as:

“Don't hoard your goods; spread them around. Be a blessing to others. This could be your last night.” (Eccl 11:2, The Message)

Indeed. Today could be our last day. Tonight could be our last night. We will never know until the next day. What we do know is that God gives us sufficient resources to achieve the tasks of today. Tomorrow will worry about itself. What about the present moment? What can we do now?

B) A Call to Redeem the Present Moment
One way to interpret Eccl 11:2 is in terms of diversity of investments. ‘Give portions to seven, yes to eight’ urges us to spread our ventures. Since we do not know which particular asset will bring about a profitable return, why not invest in a few? Even if we do not get good returns on all, at least, we can get some reasonable margins as well as spread out our risks? For investment managers, diversification is a key financial strategy. Do not put all your eggs in one basket. Even non-profit corporations have adopted different modes of ministries. From offline to online outreaches, from paid to volunteer opportunities, they seek to live out their mission with different ways to reach different target groups. They diversify their outreach. In the Church, we have different individuals each having unique gifts. When put together, the Church is enriched for others as well as for self. Behind all of these efforts, is an active urgency toward redeeming our present moments through proper and responsible stewardship. If we do not know the future, that does not mean we cannot redeem our present moment. Make good our present by planting seeds creatively, so that we can bear fruit in the future.

C) The Call To Learn from the Past: To UN-Procrastinate
Another way to understand Eccl 11:2 is to read it doing good in as many ways as possible, and to do it with a sense of urgency. Do not procrastinate. Church people generally desire to do good works and to be a salt and light to the world. The good intentions are there. The big ideas are there. Yet, it is common to see big plans fall by the wayside through inaction, or a lack of urgency. I remember Jesus’ parables that consistently speak about the danger of procrastination. In the Parable of the Ten Virgins, five virgins brought lamps without the oil. The other five brought both the lamps AND the oil. It is the latter five that brought praise from Jesus who called them wise. This theme is repeated in the Parable of the Talents, where the good and faithful servant actively uses his possessions for the good of his Master, instead of simply lazing and waiting. The time to do the right thing is always right now.


D) Do not Procrastinate. Keep Your Promises While You Can.
Disasters often remind us of the end times. Whether there are tsunamis or hurricanes, earthquakes or floods, this latest volcanic eruption reminds us how fragile our world is. It tells us that the best plans of man can be easily delayed, thwarted by an eruption thousands of miles away from where we live. If we know how vulnerable man is to external circumstances, why not do whatever good we can from day to day?

• Why wait until a loved one get cancer before we start to appreciate them?
• Why postpone helping a needy friend until it is too late?
• What good are promises if they are constantly being ‘KIV’ed (keep-in-view), or sitting permanently on our to-do list?

Like stocks and shares. The value of the asset may rise or fall. It is only when we cash them out; we will see the actual money. In some ways, it is similar to human relationships. We can guess at another person’s expectations. We can promise to do something for a friend. We can tell the world that we will ‘keep in touch’ and yet never actually bother to keep in touch. We cover no distance if we do not do what we say. We achieve very little, maybe nothing if we chronically procrastinate from keeping our promises. 

The 1990 hit movie ‘Ghost’ tells a story of two lovers Sam and Molly. For a long time, Molly was the one openly saying ‘I love you’ to Sam. In return, Sam’s typical response is ‘ditto.’ Until the day when Sam was murdered, the deceased Sam in the form of a ghost regretted not telling Molly how much he loved her. That movie alone sparked a ‘I-Love-You’ revolution among many of my friends. It reminds us to cherish one another before it is too late. There is a quip that often speaks of the hypocrisy of Christians. It reads:

A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.

Are we sitting on our premises of procrastination, or are we actively performing our promises? May we be followers of Christ, recognized by our intentional behaviour of keeping our promises to one another, and to God. May these volcano eruptions in Iceland, remind us not to wait, but to keep our promises we have made. I like the Fedex company motto: "Under-Promise, Over-Deliver." Perhaps, we as a Church can do more of that in discipleship of the nations.

One more thing. Even though we do NOT know what disaster will come next, we DO know that Christ will come again. Let that be our motivation to do good works, that we hear Jesus say to us that day: "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Thought: What promises have you made to loved ones and friends? How far are you in fulfilling these promises?

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Easy Labeling Tough Laboring

Title: Easy to Label, Tough to Labour
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 14 April 2010

“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4)

The big news this week is the resignation of a prominent Old Testament professor from a conservative seminary. It started with a video recording of the professor’s views on creation and evolution. When it was released on the Internet, it created a huge controversy that shone unwarranted attention on both the professor and his seminary. The professor was not given an opportunity to vet the video in the first place. Upon realizing the damage, he laboured vigorously to explain and to re-explain what he said. He politely requested for the video to be removed. He decided eventually to offer to resign, so that negative publicity would fall on him rather than on his seminary.

Wisdom in Our Downtime

Downtime: A Boon or a Bane?
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 6 Apr 2010

“Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.” (Proverbs 3:13)

I remember getting my first personal computer many years ago. After years of sharing the school computer at the computer labs, you can picture how happy I was as a young engineer, to have a computer all to myself, to work with. As a software engineer, my computer is my main tool at work. Keeping the computer up and running is vitally important. If there is a power outage, I simply cannot function. It becomes a downtime. For the business, it is bad. For the worker, it can be a moment of respite from the busy project schedules. A power outage is a legitimate reason for my downtime. Of course, we enjoy our extended coffee breaks.

In our busy society, downtimes can be extremely discomforting. The Internet cannot be connected. Our blackberries cannot work. We cannot read our emails. Our social connections with friends are interrupted. Even the shopping malls are left in the dark. Security guards with torchlights will have to escort shoppers toward the exit doors. At home, for those of us with an electrically-operated garage door, it means we cannot even drive our car out. We are practically trapped in our inability to be efficient or be productive. We feel like time is being wasted and our plans fall by the wayside.  Downtimes can be frustrating, especially for the high achiever.

One such downtime happened recently in some parts of British Columbia, near the Greater Vancouver region. Due to strong winds and stormy weather, many trees fell on electricity lines, and interrupted power supplies to thousands of households. Even though this is early Spring, temperatures can be freezing cold at night. I remember a student friend at one time telling me that a power outage means no heating in the house. They were left to freeze throughout the night. I told them that they could have called us, and bunk in with us. They did not call. Maybe, they could not locate our contact number as their electronics were also affected.

Downtimes can be life threatening, like freezing in the Winter cold. I wonder if there are possible advantages at all, besides the extended coffee break at the office, or the extra time to talk with family and friends on a more casual basis. My argument in this week's Sabbath Walk is that downtimes can be moments of inspiration and collecting wisdom.

A) My Personal Downtime
Apart from all the daily practical problems surrounded by a downtime, there can be positive aspects when pausing from our normal routines. During a personal downtime, we can get a spark of insight. It is what I call a change in perspective.

For Lent this year, I voluntarily chose a Facebook downtime. For 40 days, I refrained from doing anything on Facebook, so that these moments can become moments of remembering Jesus’ journey to the Cross. You can call that Facebook-fasting. Almost immediately, after announcing my intention, I was accused of practicing a form of legalism in my Christian walk. Surprised I was. I never knew that trying to do something in order to remember Christ more personally can be misconstrued as ‘legalistic.’ It still baffles me today. This symbolic Facebook-fast for me is a way to counter the potential grip Facebook can have on me. Yet, some people choose to interpret otherwise. I know that this hot social phenomenon is going viral from day to day. If we are not careful, we may end up becoming so addicted that Facebook becomes an electronic drug.

Facebook is fast challenging email as the social communication of choice. Sometimes, it is easier to locate a friend through Facebook, than ransacking through all the old emails sent and received. Searching Facebook pops out not only the email address, but the photograph and other relevant details as well. The power to connect has never been more effective. Yet, this very tool, efficient and powerful, can become addictive. My Facebook-fast teaches me that I can live without Facebook. There is life beyond social networking. I learn to see that in my moments of fasting, there is always some precious insights to be learned.

B) Finding Wisdom in Our Downtime
Once there was an explorer attempting to travel across the Amazon jungle as quickly as possible. He brought along some natives to help him navigate. After a few days of speedy progress, he found the natives unwilling to travel further. Annoyed, he asked them why. In reply, the lead native said: “We cannot continue until our souls catch up with our bodies.” These natives know certain matters that many of us take for granted. Sometimes we confuse our natural bodies with a 7x24 always ON computer system. We subconsciously work all day, thinking like a computer that is always up and running, and always ready. We are not computers. We are human.

I have been reading this amazing little book by Andy Andrews called “The Noticer.” The central character in the book is a wise old man called Jones. He seems like a type of ‘Jesus’ who happens to know everyone by name, appearing at the deepest moment of need, and disappearing the moment people try to seek him out. In one instance, he was talking to a group of teenagers having questions about adult matters. They were exploring dating, curious but cautious about marriage, recognizing the high rate of divorces in their society. Jones mentions that there is a positive aspect of having a downtime.

“Wisdom can be gathered in your downtime. Wisdom that can change the very course of your life will come from the people you are around, the books you read, and the things you listen to or watch on radio or television.” (Andy Andrews, The Noticer, Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2009, p64)

C) Wisdom in Marriage Matters
One one chapter, Jones helps three teenagers learn that it is not love or commitment that is important in choosing a life partner. It is the ‘seeking and gathering of wisdom’ to help one decide. It is not because ‘people love each other’ as the reason for getting married. It is actually the wisdom to recognize who we want to spend the rest of our life together with. I think this little insight can only be understood in our downtime. In our quick-fix society, we often shortchange ourselves into thinking that marriage is simply finding the perfect partner. The pre-marital process is actually not the love itself, but the collection of wisdom during our quiet moments. Such moments of wisdom collected prepares us for marriage long-term, instead of an emotional romanticism short-term.

I agree. For every couple that falls in love quickly, they can also fall out of love speedily. In a world that worships the latest-and-the-greatest techno gizmos out there, we unconsciously transfer that to human relationships as well, expecting the ‘latest’ fashion our loved ones should wear, or the next greatest feat we should do to impress our partners. No. In any relationship, we need to have the wisdom to know our own limits and authentic being. We need to have the wisdom to help our partners be the best version of themselves. We need to let our relationships grow naturally, and not with ‘artificial steroids’ like magical seminars or techniques to improve our relationships. It is wisdom that we need to seek after. It is wisdom that we need to wait for. It is wisdom that we need to collect. One of the best times to collect wisdom is during our downtimes. Our downtimes can be excellent moments to reflect and to build on our pool of wisdom.

Wisdom is 'the ability to see into the future the consequences of your choices in the present.' (73)

D) Seek Wisdom
Wisdom is precious in every relationship. We need more wisdom, not romantic love in deciding about our partners. We need not mere short-term love, but a long-term vision of who is the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. We need more wisdom, not mere commitment, to maintain our current relationships. Wisdom that is more precious than feelings or gold. Wisdom that is concentrated in the Person of Jesus. Wisdom that bears fruits through the Holy Spirit. Wisdom that brings us assurance that no matter what happens, we are loved by our Heavenly Father.

Be glad when there is a forced downtime. Be purposeful in planning a personal downtime. Once a week is a good start. Regardless of forced or planned, may the Holy Spirit guide you always unto all wisdom and understanding. Seek wisdom in your downtime. Perhaps, wisdom comes to us only when we allow our souls to catch up with our bodies.

Thought: “Smart people spend time alone. They don’t fill their days with appointments from 8am to 10pm, as many executives do. Inspiration is nurtured by activities like chopping wood, preparing dinner and reading to the kids. These activities soften the rigid pace of the day’s pursuits and allow all our God-given intuition to work its unlogical magic.” (Philip K Howard)

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

On Parenthood

TITLE: On Parenthood
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 31 Mar 2010

A Meditation on Holy Week

Key Point: Letting go is an act of trust. Letting God take over is an act of love through faith.

Scripture: "So Jesus grew both in height and in wisdom, and he was loved by God and by all who knew him." (Luke 2:52, NLT)

A) A Parent's Odyssey of Learning to Let Go
When they are little, we hold their hands tightly. As they grow, we loosen our grip. When they become teens, we learn to let go. When they enter adulthood, we let them fly. For the rest of our lives, we as parents can only cheer them on.

This is a typical odyssey of a family with children. Someone once told me that bringing up our children is like flying a kite. When they are younger, we hold onto them with a firm grip. As they grow, we learn to let go, and let them bravely face the winds on their own. Finally, we just have to completely free them and trust that they will live the best possible lives for themselves. We can only stand on the side, to watch, to cheer, and to pray.

[Photo Credit: featurepics.com]

Letting go is not altogether a sad event. There is always hope. As parents, one thing we need not despair about is seeing our children grow up. We need not be stuck in a constant state of nostalgia, lamenting for the ‘good old days’ when our children lives and depend on us. We need not worry about their future if we learn to give our worries to Jesus. My thoughts this week center around how God lets Jesus go, and how Jesus chooses to follow the will of his Father.

B) How Joseph and Mary Let Jesus Go
As a little baby, Jesus was completely dependent on how Joseph and Mary obey the instructions of the angel (Luke 1). As a young boy, he was seen growing with stature with both God and men (Luke 2:52). He made his parents worried about his whereabouts, but told them that his rightful place is his Father’s house (Luke 2:49). The gospel records Joseph and Mary as being puzzled by what Jesus said. It is a sign that Jesus is teaching his parents to start letting go of their possessiveness, and to recognize Jesus' higher purpose. That is to obey His heavenly Father in Heaven. I can imagine that fateful day, when Joseph and Mary feel powerless. They must have been distraught to see their son arrested, cruelly tortured and unfairly judged by the religious and political powers of the day.Even though Joseph is simply a husband to Mary, he feels for this boy born of the virgin Mary. Like a typical parent, he is understandably worried for the safety of Jesus. He finds it hard to let go.

This week is Holy Week. Christians all over the world will  make a special effort to reflect more on the person of Christ. As we remember the work of Christ, and his journey to Gethsemane, we need to let the process of remembrance flow. There is no need to press a quick fast-forward button to jump over Maundy Thursday or the Good Friday crucifixion. Being human, sometimes we want to avoid the pain and torture of Christ to focus on the victory and the ultimate triumph at the cross. This is understandable. Let us be patient. There is a time for everything. Holy Week is not simply about God overcoming death at the cross through Jesus. It is reflecting on God letting Jesus go to the cross in full obedience.

C) The Essence of Letting Go: Love

Holy Week is about love, faithful and everlasting love. It is about a love that is present with us whether in sickness or in health. It is a love that is with us, whether we are sad or happy, uplifted or downtrodden; together or alone. It is a week to remember that love came down to earth in a humble servant to die for the sins of the world. This love is demonstrated so clearly and passionately, that we learn the greatest meaning of dying to self. For parents, we can only glimpse at the willingness of God the Father, letting go of his completely innocent Son, to die for us.

God does not have a divine ego to fill. Neither does He need to justify himself for how creation turns out. Why should He apologize for something that belongs to Him in the first place? It is pure and simple. It is love. Love unlimited. Love freely and fully given. Holy Week is reflecting on this love of the Father that is so great, that God gives his only Son to die for us sinners. It is seeing how God loves us through the highs of Palm Sunday. It shows us the depth of Jesus' love to tolerate the injustice inflicted on Him. It reveals to us the breadth of Jesus' sacrifice for all on the cross. It demonstrates the extent of Jesus' work, to give us all a pathway back to the kingdom. This is because God the Father is able to let Jesus go, and Jesus willingly chooses love.

D) Our Children : Future Leaders of the World
I am a proud father of three growing children. As the years go by, I watch them become more independent, more inquisitive over adult matters, and more intelligent with 21st Century tools like technology and the latest fashions. Sometimes I feel I have more to learn from them, instead of they from me. My parenting posture needs to be readjusted. At some point, ‘letting go’ becomes the primary attitude, not ‘grabbing hold.' The former trusts, the latter distrusts. Grabbing hold is an attempt to control. Letting go is an act of trusting God. Letting go is a discipline that parents will find it hard to adopt. It is necessary. Letting go is love.

As parents, the challenge for us is this. After years of caring and catering to our children’s basic needs, the next milestone of love is to cheer them on. We can either choose to be pessimistic about their future. We can worry constantly about whether they can make it in life. Or we can be optimistic that they have a bright future ahead of them, and that they will know how to handle life when it comes. I want to take the optimistic approach. I take comfort in the words of the famous US President, Abraham Lincoln:

“A child is a person who is going to carry on what you have started. He is going to sit where you are sitting, and when you are gone, attend to those things which you think are important. You may adopt all the policies you please, but how they are carried out depends on him. He will assume control of your cities, states, and nations. He is going to move in and take over your churches, schools, universities, and corporations. . . The fate of humanity is in his hands.” (Abraham Lincoln)

As a Christian parent, I do not fully agree with the last statement. In fact, the promise of humanity is in the hands of our loving Father God, through the presence of the Holy Spirit, will guide our children to do the will of God, in heaven as well as on earth. In God’s perfect timing, under the guidance of God and the prayers of the parents, children will soon take charge, and become parents in their own right.
What if we as parents find it hard to let go? What if we find it difficult to trust our children to do what is best for them? We can advice them. We can guide them. We can even try to get the best help for them. Regardless of what parents can do for them, eventually, our children will need to take a step for themselves. When we find it hard to let go, may I suggest prayer. May I recommend that parents adopt an unceasing prayer attitude? In prayer, we never truly let go of our responsibilities. For in prayer, we entrust our deep love for our children into the mighty hands of God.


E) The Final Stage: Letting Go
In conclusion, what is the greatest joy of a parent? I think, as a Christian parent, the greatest joy is knowing that by letting go of our children, we let God take over. We continue on the privilege to pray for them, to watch them mature from a distance, and be loved by God. We see them rallying around friends, and friends around them. It is with deep gratitude to God, that through them, God will change the world in ways that we as parents could not. They will live out their dreams. We can only cheer them on. Like a wise teacher, as our children grows up, we put off the sage-by-the-stage mentality to command them on each and every move. Instead, we take on the role of a guide-by-the-side to cheer them on to good works. The final stage of parenting is simply this: Letting go of our children for growing, and letting God take over for grooming.


Thought: Higher Education is not performing as a sage on the stage, but as a guide by the side. Christian Higher Education moves a step further: Parents praying unceasingly for their children.


sabbathwalk

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Too Busy With Our Own House

Title: Too Busy With Our Own House?
Date: 25 Mar 2010

Written by: Conrade Yap

Main point: Chronic busyness is a symptom of messed-up priorities.

"You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?" declares the LORD Almighty. "Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house.” (Haggai 1:9)

A church leader recently lamented and said this to me. “We can plan so many things for the church, but will people be interested?  The main problem is busyness. People are so busy.”

I was initially taken aback. During leadership meetings and planning, it is typical to expect some excitement and some great plans to motivate the congregation toward spiritual growth and love of Jesus. Not this leader. Not this experienced man of God, who has seen many plans that begin well and end poorly. In fact, there is a sense of despondency that feeds cynicism upon cynicism.

The choices we make in life reflect the priorities in us. In other words, busyness is a choice. It is an attitude. It is a state of mind. I do not believe that we are helplessly unable to cope with busyness. Busy or not, is not a question of time. It is a matter of priorities. In fact, chronic busyness is a symptom of our priorities badly messed up. The more we allow ourselves to drift into an aimless whirlpool of busyness, the less we are able to discern the purpose and the priorities we badly need.  We become so busy with self, that we neglect the house of God. When this happens, our activities become primary. Relationships become secondary.

A) Our Messed Up Priorities

The Book of Haggai begins with a call to the Israelites to straighten out their priorities. Twice, the prophet proclaims the LORD’s reminder:

“ . . . . . . Give careful thought to your ways.” (Haggai 1:5b)

“. . . . . . Give careful thought to your ways. “ (Haggai 1:7b)

What is it that the Israelites are to give ‘careful thought’ about? It is when the Israelites are accumulating things and luxury for themselves, to the neglect of God’s holy temple. In 538 BC, the Israelites were returning from exile. The temple was in ruins, and God’s people has returned. Instead of spending time to rebuild the temple, the people were more interested in beautifying their own homes. Thus, Haggai has to intervene to call the people to re-consider their ways. It is a call for Israel to set things right, by first getting their priorities right.

We can live very busy lives. The question is: if we were to divide our activities between short-term objectives and long-term goals, between temporal and eternal purposes, how will our life look like? Haggai is pleading with the Israelites to put community before self interest.

B) Wait! What About Our House?

Wait. Some of us may be asking:

•  “Why should God’s house be of a higher priority?”
• “I cannot afford not to work long hours. I need to feed my family, and to pay for my children’s future needs.”
• “What makes you think that the Church should get more of my time? Isn’t the Church already rich with resources?”

I have been in many churches to understand where the typical church member is coming from. I know that what is important to a church leader, may not be the same as a church member. For example, leaders may organize prayer meetings, but often, the people who attend such meetings are the leaders themselves, plus a handful of faithful members. Pastors may offer the best spiritual exercises, but people are too busy to take part. What happened to the rest? Perhaps, that is one reason why few people aspire to be church leaders or pastors in the first place.

Let me suggest that we all “give careful thought to our ways?” Ask ourselves about our priorities.  Ask about the state of our relationships with one another. Ask about our time allocated toward something more kingdom-focused, instead of world-focused.

“So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:31-33)

I am not saying we always say ‘yes’ to all kinds of church requests. I am asking that we consider our priorities, especially when we find ourselves saying ‘no’ nearly 100% of the time.

C) Kingdom Priorities

Let me put the question the other way. Instead of asking you to consider putting God’s house first, why not consider what God is speaking to you about kingdom priorities? The following table will help to illustrate what I am saying.

WORLDLY PRIORITIES	KINGDOM PRIORITIES
Me-First attitude	Kingdom first, as we trust God to provide for our needs
Achievements first	Relationships first
Asks: “What’s in it for me?”	Asks: “What’s in it for God?”
Runs After Things, especially temporal stuff	Runs after God
Non-stop planning and executing	Unceasing prayer, which guides actions
Stingy with time	Generous with time
Complains easily	Gives thanks readily
Cares primarily for own house; self-led	Cares for God’s House; community-led

Kingdom priorities mean that we learn to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. It does not mean we do not care about our earthly responsibilities at home, at work or in school. It means we do not WORRY about them, but trust God to provide for our needs. It does not mean we discard our responsibilities. It means we put these responsibilities in perspective, in proper priority.

D) A Kingdom of Inter-Dependence, Not Independence

One more thing. Kingdom priorities also mean that we work dependent on one another. The phrase: “God helps those who help themselves” is one big lie. We need to remove this teaching altogether. It goes against community building. The fact is, we need one another. Anyone living a life toward delusionary  self-independence, is only digging his own pit of loneliness.

Throw away our puny shovels of busyness after our own things. Remove our straw hats of independence. Understand that we are made to be dependent on each other, not independent from one another. Re-organize our priorities, to move from worldly minded to kingdom focus. Give careful thought to what it means to build up the kingdom of God, by helping one another be the best people they are created to be. Let’s build the church of God. Haggai’s message is applicable to us today. The Church of God is not built with stones, but by relationships through loving God and people. Let us prioritize accordingly.

So brother, hand me another brick. Sister, pass me that cement. We’ve got a church of people to build.

Thought:  The Church is not a collection of independent individuals, but a community of dependent sinners accepting one another in Christ-like love.

 “I rejoiced with those who said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the LORD.’” (Ps 122:1)

sabbathwalk

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.