Too Busy With Our Own House

Title: Too Busy With Our Own House?
Date: 25 Mar 2010

Written by: Conrade Yap

Main point: Chronic busyness is a symptom of messed-up priorities.

"You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?" declares the LORD Almighty. "Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house.” (Haggai 1:9)

A church leader recently lamented and said this to me. “We can plan so many things for the church, but will people be interested?  The main problem is busyness. People are so busy.”

I was initially taken aback. During leadership meetings and planning, it is typical to expect some excitement and some great plans to motivate the congregation toward spiritual growth and love of Jesus. Not this leader. Not this experienced man of God, who has seen many plans that begin well and end poorly. In fact, there is a sense of despondency that feeds cynicism upon cynicism.

The choices we make in life reflect the priorities in us. In other words, busyness is a choice. It is an attitude. It is a state of mind. I do not believe that we are helplessly unable to cope with busyness. Busy or not, is not a question of time. It is a matter of priorities. In fact, chronic busyness is a symptom of our priorities badly messed up. The more we allow ourselves to drift into an aimless whirlpool of busyness, the less we are able to discern the purpose and the priorities we badly need.  We become so busy with self, that we neglect the house of God. When this happens, our activities become primary. Relationships become secondary.

A) Our Messed Up Priorities

The Book of Haggai begins with a call to the Israelites to straighten out their priorities. Twice, the prophet proclaims the LORD’s reminder:

“ . . . . . . Give careful thought to your ways.” (Haggai 1:5b)

“. . . . . . Give careful thought to your ways. “ (Haggai 1:7b)

What is it that the Israelites are to give ‘careful thought’ about? It is when the Israelites are accumulating things and luxury for themselves, to the neglect of God’s holy temple. In 538 BC, the Israelites were returning from exile. The temple was in ruins, and God’s people has returned. Instead of spending time to rebuild the temple, the people were more interested in beautifying their own homes. Thus, Haggai has to intervene to call the people to re-consider their ways. It is a call for Israel to set things right, by first getting their priorities right.

We can live very busy lives. The question is: if we were to divide our activities between short-term objectives and long-term goals, between temporal and eternal purposes, how will our life look like? Haggai is pleading with the Israelites to put community before self interest.

B) Wait! What About Our House?

Wait. Some of us may be asking:

•  “Why should God’s house be of a higher priority?”
• “I cannot afford not to work long hours. I need to feed my family, and to pay for my children’s future needs.”
• “What makes you think that the Church should get more of my time? Isn’t the Church already rich with resources?”

I have been in many churches to understand where the typical church member is coming from. I know that what is important to a church leader, may not be the same as a church member. For example, leaders may organize prayer meetings, but often, the people who attend such meetings are the leaders themselves, plus a handful of faithful members. Pastors may offer the best spiritual exercises, but people are too busy to take part. What happened to the rest? Perhaps, that is one reason why few people aspire to be church leaders or pastors in the first place.

Let me suggest that we all “give careful thought to our ways?” Ask ourselves about our priorities.  Ask about the state of our relationships with one another. Ask about our time allocated toward something more kingdom-focused, instead of world-focused.

“So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:31-33)

I am not saying we always say ‘yes’ to all kinds of church requests. I am asking that we consider our priorities, especially when we find ourselves saying ‘no’ nearly 100% of the time.

C) Kingdom Priorities

Let me put the question the other way. Instead of asking you to consider putting God’s house first, why not consider what God is speaking to you about kingdom priorities? The following table will help to illustrate what I am saying.

WORLDLY PRIORITIES	KINGDOM PRIORITIES
Me-First attitude	Kingdom first, as we trust God to provide for our needs
Achievements first	Relationships first
Asks: “What’s in it for me?”	Asks: “What’s in it for God?”
Runs After Things, especially temporal stuff	Runs after God
Non-stop planning and executing	Unceasing prayer, which guides actions
Stingy with time	Generous with time
Complains easily	Gives thanks readily
Cares primarily for own house; self-led	Cares for God’s House; community-led

Kingdom priorities mean that we learn to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. It does not mean we do not care about our earthly responsibilities at home, at work or in school. It means we do not WORRY about them, but trust God to provide for our needs. It does not mean we discard our responsibilities. It means we put these responsibilities in perspective, in proper priority.

D) A Kingdom of Inter-Dependence, Not Independence

One more thing. Kingdom priorities also mean that we work dependent on one another. The phrase: “God helps those who help themselves” is one big lie. We need to remove this teaching altogether. It goes against community building. The fact is, we need one another. Anyone living a life toward delusionary  self-independence, is only digging his own pit of loneliness.

Throw away our puny shovels of busyness after our own things. Remove our straw hats of independence. Understand that we are made to be dependent on each other, not independent from one another. Re-organize our priorities, to move from worldly minded to kingdom focus. Give careful thought to what it means to build up the kingdom of God, by helping one another be the best people they are created to be. Let’s build the church of God. Haggai’s message is applicable to us today. The Church of God is not built with stones, but by relationships through loving God and people. Let us prioritize accordingly.

So brother, hand me another brick. Sister, pass me that cement. We’ve got a church of people to build.

Thought:  The Church is not a collection of independent individuals, but a community of dependent sinners accepting one another in Christ-like love.

 “I rejoiced with those who said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the LORD.’” (Ps 122:1)

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Choose Peacemaking

TITLE: CHOOSE PEACEMAKING
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: Mar 16, 2010

“What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?” (James 4:1, NAS)

MAIN POINT: Peacemaking starts from inside our heart; Quarrels and conflicts too. The difference lies in which one we choose.

Pastor Craig Groeschel was about to preach one Sunday morning. Just a few moments before he takes the pulpit, a female Church member passed him a note labeled, “Personal.” Thinking that it was a nice message of encouragement, he opened that note with hope. Unfortunately, it was a cruel accusatory note. It curtly criticized and put the pastor down for not making time to see her last Friday, which was the pastor’s day off. According to that lady, the pastor was insensitive to her, for not prioritizing her in his schedule. It is one thing to give a hurtful note. It is yet another to time it just before the preacher's sermon delivery. Imagine how one small note can hurt the soul big-time.

Conflicts happen. Sometimes, too often. Even in the Bible, there is a famous example of conflict that occurred between Peter and Paul. Paul opposed Peter ‘to his face,’ over the issue of hypocrisy in preferential treatment between Gentiles and Jews (Gal 2:11-14).

Conflicts can happen at the personal level, at a congregational level, or even among good friends like Peter and Paul. The key to recognizing how to resolve any conflict is to first identify the source, and then to make a choice on what to do about it.

A) Where is the source of conflicts?
Some say the fault lies in the other person. For two feuding groups, fingers can be pointed at each other. Harsh words fly. Tempers flare. An ungracious attitude fuels even more negative reactions in a downward spiral of strife. Any fallout from the hostility can even injure people outside the two groups, especially when the warring groups start to canvass for political support. Both factions can issue ultimatums to the rest: “If you are not with us, you are against us.” When this happens, a church crack begins to appear as members draw an ugly line that divides. 

Such a black and white scenario makes it a tough place to be for any church member. In a heated environment, no position is safe. If one supports the left, the right gets upset. If support goes to the right, the other will threaten to terminate relationships. If one chooses not to support either, one risks getting slammed by both groups. No position is safe when a church is deep in conflict. Perhaps, one way out is to relinquish power during such a heated situations. This is because the moment each group starts to load up their verbal weaponry, more people will get hurt. Why not lay down our weaponry of hurt, unload the ammunition of angry words, and give some space and time to resolve any differences? After-all, when church members fight, the evil eyes are the ones smiling.

B) Desires inside us

Dave Edling, of Peacemaker Ministries observes that the fault lines in any relationship issues lie not outside but inside a person's heart. According to Edling,

"Disagreements begin when the desires that battle within us, as described in James 4:1, lead to expectations of others—maybe an over-elevation of who we think we are, and what our rights are, and what we deserve to have." (Christine Scheller, Missing the Rupture, Christianity Today, May 2003)

Indeed, one of the causes of many conflicts and misunderstandings is due to an ‘over-elevation’ of who we are or our points of view. When we start having strong views about our rightness, it only increases our perceptions about other people's 'wrongness.' If a person stubbornly thinks that he is usually right, in his eye, others will seem flatly wrong. Eugene Peterson, a former pastor for 29 years, translates James 4:1 as follows:

“Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves.” (Jas 4:1, MSG)

This is scary yet so true. When we want things our own way, everything has to be bent to our own desires. ‘Desires’ can be a very powerful thing. When used compassionately to help people, it can bring about a multitude of goodness that warms the soul. When used otherwise, it can hurt, even kill. I remember reading a heartwarming story just after the horrifying terrorist attacks of September 11. The aftermath of the disaster did not simply shock those who are still alive and grieving. It angers some people enough to start to hunt and hurt people of Muslim origins. Anticipating the potential problems, a group of Catholic nuns set out for the neighborhood mosque. Holding hands, and lighting candles, they sing hymns to promote peace and goodwill while protecting the mosque. This example of peacemaking is truly counter-cultural. By placing themselves as a cushion between the mob and the Muslim victims, the nuns make themselves vulnerable in the name of peace.

C) Choose Peacemaking

The desire for revenge is part of a very sinful human condition. When we do not have things our way, we often gravitate between two choices. We can hurt ourselves by beating ourselves up inside, or hurt others by accusing others outside. Is there a third way?

The good news is yes. There is a third way. This is the way of peacemaking. More importantly, it is to change our ‘desires’ to CHOOSE peacemaking over all others. Etty Hillesum, a Jewish woman who prior to her being gassed in the Auschwitz Holocaust, writes in her diary:

“After this war two torrents will be unleashed on the world: a torrent of loving kindness and a torrent of hatred. I knew that I should struggle against hatred.” (Etty Hillesum, An Interrupted Life: The Diaries, 1941-1943, and Letters from Westerbrook, NY: Henry Holt, 1996, p208)

Imagine such inner strength, that no gas chambers can overcome. Hillesum chose the path of peace amid the awful hatred happening all around her. If she, being victimized and tortured can choose peacemaking despite the most horrific circumstances, how about us, who are not in any physical torture chamber, sitting in our comfortable chairs choose peacemaking?

We can choose the path of peace. This is also the path chosen by Pastor Craig Groeschel, after receiving the terrible accusatory note. That day, he chose compassion for that hurting lady, and went on to do his ministerial duties. Choosing peace means being conscious of the larger good. Choosing peace means struggling against hatred and ill will, replacing them with love and goodwill. Choosing peace means making peace, rather than simply waiting letting silence dictate the peace process. Choosing peace means we maintain a posture of open hands instead of clenched fists. May we all learn to choose peace. May we all become peacemakers for the kingdom of God. In fact, when we choose to become peacemakers, we accomplish two objectives in one stroke: we bring goodwill for the kingdom of God, AND nip sinful desires from growing in our hearts.

“To be a peacemaker means not to judge or condemn or speak badly of people, not to rejoice in any form of ill that may strike them. Peacemaking is holding people gently in prayer, wishing them to be well and free. Peacemaking is welcoming people who are weak and in need, maybe just with a smile, giving them support, offering them kindness and tenderness, and opening our hearts to them. …… It is to approach people not from a pedestal, a position of power and certitude, in order to solve problems, but from a place of listening, understanding, humility and love. When we relinquish power, we become more open to the compassion of God.”
(Jean Vanier, Finding Peace, Toronto, ON: Anansi, 2003, p68-9)

Thought: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.” (Matt 5:9, NIV)


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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Left to Our Own Devices

Title: Left To Our Own Devices
Written by: Conrade Yap
9 Mar 2010

"Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn't worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they begin to think up foolish ideas of what God is like. The result was that their minds became dark and confused." (Rom 1:21, NLT)

Tiger Woods is a world-class golfer. John Terry is a famous footballer with the popular English club, Chelsea. Jack Neo is a famous South-East-Asian filmmaker-entertainer. Despite them located on three different continents, they share something in common. All of them have secret affairs. All of them are married men, sleeping with other women. This week, the popular and successful filmmaker in Singapore, Jack Neo has his photos and his sexual trysts become headline news all over the region. While Neo and his family are currently hiding from the press, details of his affairs are showing up in many places. The man who started with humble beginnings, who have enthralled millions of television viewers with his versatile acting is now fleeing from publicity. Like Tiger Woods and John Terry, this time, Neo has dethroned himself. Positive feedback about him and his character are getting less while negative and verbal jibes are getting more. It saddens me to read that Neo has not only committed adultery, he has damaged his testimony for God. Worshipping in one of the largest Churches in Singapore, his actions have become a stumbling block to others, a disappointment to many.

Sigh. Such news are not new. In North America, sexual scandals are one of the most read news in any media. Many are already exposed. Many more are yet to be discovered. Still, if any affair by a famous politician, movie star, singer, or a celebrity is leaked, rest assured that the press would soon be on a news feeding frenzy. Whatever they write, people read. Whatever they publish, people buy them. Right now, the German Catholic Church is also reeling from revelations of another sex scandal. When will all these end? In this week’s edition of Sabbath Walk, I want to ponder on what it means to be left to our own devices.

Key Point - “Left to its own devices and schemes, the human heart becomes an idol factory.”

A) Separation of Sex and Spirituality - The Factory Starts Work
The Quaker, Richard Foster laments:

“One of the real tragedies in Christian history has been the divorce of sexuality from spirituality. This fact is all the more lamentable since the Bible holds such a high celebrative view of human sexuality.”
(Richard Foster, The Challenge of the Disciplined Life, Harper San Francisco, 1985, 91)

Foster notices an important aspect of being human. Hell breaks loose when human sexuality is separated from spirituality. The fallen human condition is like an aimless kite. Without it being fastened and held by a firm hand, it is susceptible to winds coming at it from all directions and speeds. The moment the hand releases the kite, the kite will be soon be lost. Ask any kid who lost his favourite kite. Reflecting on the effects of Money, Sex, and Power, Foster, argues cogently that any view of sexuality without spirituality is incomplete, utterly incomplete. In other words, man without God is hopeless. Man trying to live without obeying God's instructions render him helpless. Sad is the man who though incomplete, behaves as if he is completely right. That is self-righteousness. Even more tragic is the sinner , who rationalizes himself to justify all means to achieve his ends. That is unrighteousness. They blame others. They blame things outside their control. They blame all else except themselves. Some even blame God. When we are separated from God, and left to our own devices, to do whatever we want, anything can be rationalized. Left to our own devices, the human heart begins manufacturing idols.

B) Manufacturing Sin after Sin
One incomplete state begets another. They compound one’s sin and mistakes. Worse, they rationalize and try to give excuses to justify their behaviors. When pushed to a corner, some hardcore sinners will change from a defensive posture to an offensive gesture. They fight back when they refuse to be cornered about their sin.

I learned many years ago when I was in business school that man is not exactly a ‘rational’ creature. Instead, man is a ‘rationalizing’ creature. There is a subtle difference between ‘rational’ and ‘rationalizing.’ The former sees them as always doing the right thing. The latter thinks he is doing the right thing all the time. The trouble is, when people forget they are sinners in the first place, they pride themselves in all the decisions they make. What were Woods, Terry and Neo thinking just before their first sexual fling? I suppose that not getting caught the first time, tempts them to continue their affairs indefinitely. Left to our own devices, the sinful heart manufactures sin after sin.

C) Manufacturing Reasons to Justify Sin
People find ways and means to justify their plans and their actions. In business, when a greedy person has set his heart to grab a lucrative deal, he will find all ways to justify his actions, to make things happen according to his plans. When getting the deal becomes the overall objective, the human rationalizing machine kicks into action. When the goal is finally achieved, the very success justifies the means. Sometimes, successes can be a convenient cloak to cover up any unethical practices. Who dares to question the person up there? Who dares to point a finger at a famous boss who can easily take away our livelihood with a simple command? The same is true for those who refuse to acknowledge their sins. The powerful rules, until their sins are exposed. Adulterers can sometimes deceive themselves by rationalizing themselves as follows:

• “But I really love my lover. But I no longer love my spouse.”
• "Who asks my spouse to be so ugly? So fat and undesirable?"
• “But we need to modernize ourselves with more 'appropriate' interpretations of the Bible.”
• “Certainly, God wants me to be happy, or He would not have given me this drive.”
• “It is beyond my control.”
• “If my spouse truly loved me, I would not have done it.”
• “This is my life. No one has a right to judge me.”
• “I am sure God understands me. After all, He is a God of grace and forgiveness.”
• “It is alright to sleep a little. After all, I am not perfect right?”
• “Don’t blame me. Blame God, for He is the One that created me like that in the first place.”

Some of these excuses make me angry. I cannot imagine how can a man who commits adultery, suddenly turns around and blames his wife for own despicable act! Or, how can a woman justify her infidelity by blaming her husband's low esteem for her affairs? The trouble is, when one becomes successful in the eyes of the world, he becomes his own biggest threat. When he or she lusts after something, reasons are concocted simply to get it. When a person is bent on sin, everything else can be used to justify his actions. A person addicted to sexual affairs, blames others except himself. This is because the human heart is a natural and efficient factory of idolatry. Idols are not external things that mysteriously appear outside. They are internal thoughts that gradually form idols in everything we touch. Without God, everything else can become a substitute to replace God. Without God, we are on our own. We form our own ideals. We design our own ends. We manufacture our own gods. Without God, our biggest punishment is not external but internal. Read the judgment.

“So God let them go ahead and do whatever shameful things their hearts desired….” (Rom 1:24a)

Left to our own sinful natures, our heart manufactures rationalizations to justify sin.

D) Manufacturing 'Idols Not Enough'
Let me urge caution. All of us are vulnerable. All of us are susceptible to temptations. In fact, the most dangerous of all temptations frequently begins with an honorable goal: to be successful. It could happen to any of us. The more fame and success we get, the greater the temptations. The important question for all of us is, can we handle success? For those of us who wants success, pray too, that the Lord grants you the strength to fight temptations of success. Another way is to facilitate inner and outer successes. Any external success without adequate moral and spiritual foundations will eventually crumble.

“For all our striving to attain worldly success outside, how much are we achieving INSIDE? (of character, integrity and gratitude)”

In the race for success, people are tempted to become lopsided. They race for worldly success without a corresponding race for inner integrity. They then become easy pickings for the evil one. We build our lives and our future on sinking sand. Doris Mortman shares this wisdom:

“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.”
(Doris Mortman, Circles, Bantam Books, 1988, 45)

Left to our own devices, we manufacture more sins, and more justifications without reservation.

E) Peace with God
True peace cannot be manufactured. It can only be received and practiced. Indeed, I suggest something more than simply 'making' peace. We need peace from God. We need peace with God. We need God urgently, more so because we are already fallen creatures prone to sin more and more. Left to our own devices, our hearts manufacture deceptions. With God as our peace, we say a defiant ‘NO’ to worldly temptations, no matter what good they entice us with. We say YES to God, no matter what it costs us. Instead of being left to our own devices, we pray that God will not leave or forsake us. We ask humbly for God’s help. We seek to store up eternal treasures in heaven instead of accumulating temporal treasures on earth. Then, and only then, we slow and shut down our inner heart that manufactures idols, to turn it into a heart that bears good fruit for Christ. Replace our heart of idols with a heart for God. Then we can be strengthened to flee from sexual sins. We can be strengthened to speak out against sins, especially our own. We can be strengthened to banish self-deception. We can be strengthened to shut down our idol factory, with God’s strength. In idols we distrust for, in God we will trust. May God be merciful to us, not to leave us to our own devices.

There remains the best and only way to shut down our idol factory once and for all. Say to ourselves: "The LORD is my Shepherd; I shall lack nothing." (Ps 23:1)

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Thought: “In mathematics, an integer is a number that isn’t divided into fractions. Just so, a man of integrity isn’t divided against himself. He doesn’t think one thing and say another – so he’s not in conflict with his own principles.” (Arthur Gordon)

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

The Problem of Unanswered Prayer

TITLE: The Problem of Unanswered Prayer
Date:  3 Mar 2010
Written by: Conrade Yap

SCRIPTURE: "Yet when they were ill, I put on sackcloth and humbled myself with fasting. When my prayers returned to me unanswered, I went about mourning as though for my friend or brother. I bowed my head in grief as though weeping for my mother." (Ps 35:13-14)

This is the 15th day of the Period of Lent. It is a tradition observed by many pious Christians all over the world. For those of us who observe Lent, this will be a more conscientious effort toward prayer, abstention, fasting and of course, denying oneself just like Christ. Last year, I fasted from chocolates. For the entire period, I was conscious of anything that is chocolate-ty. From cocoa to candies, from ice-cream to mochas, I will abstain from chocolate even though I love to eat them. Cheekily, my kids become extraordinary helpful and remind me about my chocolate fast. Occasionally, they would tempt me by eating a large blob of double chocolate ice-cream before me. I survived Lent 2009 without chocolates.

This year, I decide to fast from using Facebook. I do not have to. I freely choose to. Each time I was tempted to go to FaceBook, I resist. I think Christ. I pray. I just want to remind myself to learn to deny self in some small way, so that I can embrace Christ’s journey to the cross a little more profoundly. Self-denial comes before taking up the cross. Taking up the cross is a pre-requisite for following Christ. It is a tiny step to move from plenty toward the direction of poverty, just like Christ, though I dare not boast of matching Christ's sacrifice.

In both instances, my fast from chocolates and from Facebook is primarily to remind myself to remain prayerful. Each time I deny myself, I pray. Each time I think of it, I shoot up a sporadic word to God. A simple ‘Thank you Lord,’ almost always suffices. As I reflect on prayer this week, I want to touch on a topic close to my heart: The issue of unanswered prayer.

A) A History of Unanswered Prayers
CS Lewis struggled with this. When he was 9 years old, his mother fell ill with cancer. As doctors perform emergency surgery on his mum, he prayed earnestly for healing. Unfortunately, his mother died, leaving Lewis a confused boy. He never really got over it, and he rejected Christianity for a long time. Did God answer his prayer? In a results focused world, the answer then is clearly no.

Another example is Jerry Sittser, a pastor, a chaplain and a professor. Like many good natured Christians, he surrendered his life to Christ and served God wholeheartedly. Like many of us, he too prayed for his family’s safety and for God’s protection on them all. Unfortunately, on a fateful night, he lost his mother, his daughter and his wife, in one automobile accident.

These are but two examples of a world where many prayers seem to go unanswered. Where is God? What in the world is He doing? From martyrs to missionaries; From dedicated servants in Church to many other pious ministers in various faith ministries, it is common to see Christians happen to receive the wrong end of the bargain. If God does not answer prayer, even according to his purpose, then why pray?

B) My Story
Just a couple of months ago, I learned of a missions opportunity in India. Excitedly, I prayed. I sought out God. I discussed with my wife. I was thrilled with the opportunities to teach in a Bible College, to preach and to teach the Bible and many outreach occasions. I was very specific in my prayers, to pray about it quietly and not making it known to anyone. I asked for God to provide my family the necessary finances, not only for the trip, but also my family needs, so that my family can be cared for when I am away. It didn’t happen. It happened for James Hudson Taylor in his ministry in China. It happened for George Mueller in his ministry to orphans in England. Not me. Unfortunately, I am no Taylor or Mueller. My prayer came back to me like an unanswered letter, making me suspect whether it has been opened in the first place.

Maybe I was foolish to put God to the test. Maybe I have been naïve to think that God has to pay for all my needs before I can go. Maybe, it is a case of unanswered prayer. Maybe it is a lack of faith. I do not know. Maybe, I was not desperate enough to go.

C) To Answer or Not to Answer: That is God’s Question, Not Mine
The issue of unanswered prayers remain a mystery. I am still on a journey of discovery and learning. I am still struggling with the issue of prayers that go unanswered. Allow me to share with you three brief insights on prayer. Hopefully, this can help shed some light on your personal journey with God pertaining to this strange issue.

Firstly, prayer is not simply words uttered with our lips or vocal chords. It is not muttering the ‘right’ words, or to conjure up the proper emotions prior to sending God our list. Words are important. They can be formed and spoken with the mouth. However, prayers are more than words. It is an expression of the heart. It is an expression that requires our truest selves to rise up to meet God. In short, prayer is the divine language of the heart to God.

Secondly, prayer is a relationship. It is a relationship that is not changed by good or bad news. After all, a father loves a child, regardless of how naughty he is. Prayer is a relationship that connects humanity with divinity. It is a connection that bridges the biggest gap in the world. No causeways, no bridges, no Internet connection can ever link up to our Divine God. It takes a simple act of remembrance, to know that God is listening. It takes a simple act of stopping our fast-paced hands and feet, to still ourselves to know that God is bigger than all our problems combined. It takes a simple act of the will, to keep our minds stayed on the Giver of Life, the Creator of the world. Without understanding prayer as a relationship, we will not be able to do any of the above.

Thirdly, and most importantly, in prayer, we give God the right to answer or NOT to answer our prayers. This is the single biggest reason for us to trust God for the answers to all our prayers. Our faith in God can be increased when our prayers are answered. Our faith in God need not decrease even if our prayers remain unanswered. Let me give one illustration.

In the 2003 movie, Bruce Almighty, Jim Carrey stars as Bruce Nolan, who is dissatisfied with life. God decides to give him divine powers, especially one that answers prayers. Initially, Bruce handles the pressure well, until he realizes that his careless answers to all kinds of prayers from people the world over start to take their toll. It is a humourous story, but it communicates the truth that we are not God. Only God is God. Only God can do God’s job, not us. If we think God has to answer all of our prayers according to all our whims and fancies, God is not God. We are.


One more thing. A popular teaching about prayer in many Christian circles is that Prayer Changes God. Let me suggest it differently. The biggest benefit is not us changing God, but God changing us. Oswald Chambers puts it very well:

“To say that ‘prayer changes things’ is not as close to the truth as saying, ‘prayer changes me and then I change things.' Prayer is not a matter of changing things externally, but one of working miracles in a person’s inner nature.” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest)

Ditto.

The issue of unanswered prayer remains a challenge for me, and I believe for many of you too. Do not despair. God is always listening. Whether the answers to prayer are going to happen now or not yet, let us remain faithful. Let us remain hopeful. Let us remain grateful for God is in control. As for my India missions, or other lands, or my deepest desires with regards to Christian ministry, I wait patiently for the Lord. I pray to delight more in Him each day, till my will be changed to adapt to His will. Indeed, to answer prayer or not, is not mine to decide. It is God's. Always God's.

“Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Ps 37:4)

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Acceptance, Not Suspicion

Title: “Accepting One Another” Not “Suspecting Each Another”
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 23 Feb 2010

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” (Rom 15:7)

We live in an age of scepticism. We watch role models fall because of sexual misconduct. We see respectable blue chips companies like Enron fall because of unethical practices. We see fairy tale weddings like Prince Charles and Lady Diana's end because of irreconciable differences. In life, reputations are hard to build but easy to break down. With more bad news than good, if we are not careful, sarcasm can easily color our views of society and culture. We see life with more suspicion than acceptance.

A) The Christian in a Culture of Suspicion
Take celebrity couples for example. It is to my dismay when I hear that due to the high divorce rates, some matrimonial lawyers in Hollywood rub their hands in glee whenever celebrities get married. They suppose that every new marriage is a potential divorce over time. Unscrupulous ones can easily gain from multi-million dollars celebrity couples break ups. At the same time, they get to bask in the media attention generated by their high profile clients. I am horrified at such level of sarcasm over the sacred institution of marriage.


The trouble is, if we allow tabloids and sensational papers, to influence us, we become unhealthy cynics ourselves. In this issue, I will be encouraging us to cultivate a posture of acceptance, amid a culture of suspicion. This is because it is important for Christians in society to be able to live as people of acceptance. Until we learn what the grace of God means to us personally, we will not be able to show the same grace to others.

B) Wading in a Pool of Suspicion
On Feb 19th, 2010, Tiger Woods made a personal apology about his personal misdeeds. In that widely televised event, he pledges to take full responsibility for what he has done. Being a famous golf personality, he is accountable to many of his sponsors as well as his admirers all over the world. No doubt, Woods is one of the most marketable persons in the world. His extraordinary skills at the golf course, plus a boyish look certainly charms many people, until his recent revelation of sexual scandals. His unreserved, unassuming, unconditional and unorthodox confession surprises many. For a celebrity, it is quite a bold move. It makes the former President Bill Clinton's public apology pales in comparison. Look at his carefully worded statement:

“I was wrong. I was foolish. I don't get to play by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself. I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife's family, my friends, my foundation and kids all around the world who admired me.

I've had a lot of time to think about what I've done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It's now up to me to make amends and that starts by never repeating the mistakes I've made. It's up to me to start living a life of integrity.”

(From: www.tigerwoods.com, 19 Feb 2010)

Despite his openness, sceptics and cynics continue to view him with suspicion that he is less than honest. Many people are still cautious about believing all that he says. That day, in an ABC opinion poll, 23% of respondents do not trust him. Other polls report a higher figure of 39% (http://bit.ly/bLe1dP). Some even poke fun at Woods’ confession by making videos depicting Woods as a fake, a show off. I feel that such deeds are uncalled for. My thoughts are: “So what if Tiger Woods is rich and famous? That does not make him less human.” Being wealthy does not mean he deserves to be accepted lesser than any other normal person like you and I. Truly, I feel that sometimes we allow our perception of another person’s success to cloud our heads. Should a millionaire be held to a higher ethical standard than a lowly paid clerk? Should a celebrity be condemned more for misdeeds than an unknown man on the street? In God’s eyes, a sinner is a sinner, regardless of riches, reputation or relationship. Scriptures clearly state:

“As it is written: ‘There is no one righteous, not even one’;” (Rom 3:10)

If there is no one righteous, why should anybody behave in a self-righteous behaviour like judging the sincerity of Tiger Woods? He will be judged. Let us not judge. We can choose to believe whatever we can, and to accept at face value those that we do not know. For all the suspicions and disbelief, let us not become judges sitting up high in an ivory tower of pride.

C) Cultivating a Posture of Acceptance
Resisting the temptation to wade in a pool of suspicion is not the only thing. We need to embrace an attitude of openness. We need to cultivate a posture of acceptance. Let me suggest three ways to cultivate this. The first step to accepting others is always to begin by acknowledging the grace of God. As much as Christ has shown grace to us, we ought to show grace to others. Without recognizing our sinful selves, everything else we touch will be tainted by sin. Once, there was a disgruntled church member, seeking to look for a perfect church. On some Sundays, he complains that the music is too loud. Other times, he will comment about the attitudes of the ushers. Then he will say some negative things about the leadership. Finally, he throws up his hands in disgust and seeks to leave for a better church somewhere else. A friend says to him:

“Don’t bother to look for a perfect church. If you do, do not join it, for YOU will make it imperfect.”

Right on! None of us are perfect enough to make a perfect church. We must learn to accept one another and seek to be the best church that we can be.  If we think that we can make a church perfect on our own abilities, we deceive ourselves. We deceive the church. We dishonour Christ. We cannot judge others from a superior pedestal of self-righteousness. Instead, we sit under the judgment of the Word of God which declares us righteous only after having been washed in the Blood of Christ (Hebrews 9:14). We are sinners needing the grace of God. Having accepted this grace, we ought to learn to accept the imperfections of people, and graciously accept the failings of church and church people. Even as we live in a culture of suspicion, we need to be careful not to walk the same path of sin as in our former lives as unbelievers. By recognizing where we ought NOT to go, we will be LESS likely to repeat walking the erroneous ways.

The second thing to learn in cultivating a posture of acceptance is to show grace during moments of opportunity. CS Lewis observes:

“Sceptical, incredulous, materialistic ruts have been deeply engraved in our thoughts, perhaps even in our physical brains by all our earlier lives. At the slightest jerk our thought will flow down those old ruts. And notice when the jerks come. Usually at the precise moment when we might receive Grace. And if you were a devil would you not give the jerk just at those moments?”

(CS Lewis, The Collected Letters of CS Lewis Vol III)

Lewis warns us about that moment of weakness. We need to be careful not to allow an opportunity for grace to succumb into a moment of unkind scepticism. Chances are, it not only discourages the person wanting to repent, but sows a seed of self-righteous doubt in our hearts. When we show grace, we anchor ourselves in God's abiding love .It happens to me before. At one time, when my daughter comes back with a C+ grade in one of her subjects,  my mind becomes focused on A's and B's that I forget about her efforts to improve her scores from C- to C+. Silly me. That was a moment for me to show grace, rather than unkindness.

The third thing to adopt is praying for them. In prayer, we commit to God our best desires for the people concerned. If we see someone confessing his or her sin, rather than suspecting them of any negative intentions, why not pray for them? Why not let them come under the blessing of our prayers for them? Why not ask God to help them do what they promised to do? Better still, pray that God can freely use US! More importantly, prayer is an opportunity for the restoration of relationships. Kenneth Leech writes:

“Prayer is fellowship with God, the healing of a broken relationship, but it can only occur in Christ and in his great atoning work of prayer. There is therefore a close connection between prayer and the Cross.” (Kenneth Leech, True Prayer, Toronto: Anglican Book Company, 1980, 127)

D) Concluding Words
Tiger Woods has made his confession. Let others view him with suspicion. Let others make derogatory statements about him. Not me.  I choose not to judge him. Whether he tells the truth or he lies, is for him to decide. Not me. Christians need to adopt an attitude of acceptance, to take his words at face value. Let us cultivate a posture of acceptance. Let Tiger Woods try to recover. Accept him based on his promise to repent. Even though he has chosen Buddhism as the path for his recovery, let us not be too quick to criticize his spiritual choice. Let us concern ourselves with the work and purpose of God, believing that as we lift Jesus higher, Jesus will draw all people to him, maybe even the disgraced golfer. In his good time, grace will lead more people home.

Thought: In prayer, we not only relate to God, we relate to humankind as well, not as superior beings, but as forgiven sinners.

sabbathwalk

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Praying Attentively

Author: Conrade Yap
Date: 18 Feb 2010

MAIN IDEA – True and honest prayer is giving attention to God.

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Ps 43:5)

Attention is a limited resource. Wives love it. Children need it. School teachers demand it. Professors request it. Marketers entice people to give it. Advertisers everywhere take it under our noses. In the online world, thousands of Internet websites deceive people into giving their very attention through cheap flicks and expensive clicks. Using a formidable arsenal of ‘weapons of mass distraction’ (WMD), this very precious but limited supply of attention is siphoned away from many unsuspecting people. In April 2009, BBC mentions a Microsoft security report that states that 97% of the world’s emails delivered are ‘unwanted ones.

For many of us, we can be easily miffed by unsolicited email requests or hoaxes. Web advertisers are partly to blame. Using a clever cash-for-clicks model, they encourage web users to click at various links as often as possible. If an ad on a website exceeds a certain number of clicks per month, the owner gets paid. If the user goes on to purchase the product, the owner gets paid even more. This simple formula has been creatively and most profitably used by Google. In doing so, they make money and at the same time receive a disproportionate amount of attention on the Internet. Their astronomical success has made Google a household name. Even children in school learn to use the term ‘Google it’ as a 2-word way to replace the common: ‘Search for it on the Internet.’ What made Google an Internet superstar is the way it quietly garners attention for itself. In such a way, how can we not become easily distracted? How can we not succumb to surrendering our precious attention to less worthy causes? How can we avoid letting our prayer lives crumble under the weight of distractions?

Praying Inattentively
Prayer is already a challenge for some of us. Living in an Internet age has made it harder. Much harder. This is most evident when we repeat our commonly used prayer occasions. For me personally, one of the most obvious cases of inattentive praying is saying grace before meals. In my family, we observe a brief moment of silence in order to pray. All of us take turns to say grace at different days of the week. After a day of hush and rush, sitting still and going slow is a challenge. We just want to get on with it, and go to the main dish.

If there is an Olympic medal to be given out for the speed in giving thanks, I believe one of us could have easily won it. The words: “Thank you God for dinner. In Jesus’ name, Amen,” Can be made in mere seconds, some say micro-seconds. The problem with such praying is that we want to hurry through the motions in order to get to the main thing: the food. The hungrier one is, the faster the prayer. Perhaps, dinner is one of the most inappropriate times to be practicing contemplative prayer. Yet, I cannot but feel a sense of dishonesty when we try to do the ‘Christian’ thing of saying the right words, regardless of where the heart is. If giving thanks over meals is the ‘only’ time that we pray, sadly, it will make our prayer life, a life of praying inattentively.

Another example is the way that we rush through our Sunday rendition of the Lord’s Prayer. Most of the adults and elderly among us have memorized this prayer. When the service is rushed due to a late start, we tend to zoom through the prepared order of service so that we can finish on-time for after service refreshments and coffee. Such intense ‘wanting-to-get-on-with-it’ feelings make traditional rituals even more ‘ritualistic.’ After going through the motions, some people will then start to complain even more, how boring and meaningless the church service has been. I will be quick to add: “Excuse me? In the first place, aren’t you a part of the ‘boring and meaningless’ church service?” Indeed, the trouble with many of our prayers and worship is due to a preoccupation with the self rather than with God. When this happens, our attention gets focused on the self, and in doing so we get distracted from the God and people we say we love.

Tim Dearborn describes it well.

“It is a strange tragedy that western spirituality and worship are often held captive by a preoccupation with the human rather than the divine. Instead of awakening us to perceive the gracious presence of God, our worship services too often begin and end with ourselves: what we do, hear and experience. We evaluate worship in terms of what we get out of it, what we like, what we feel and what we receive.” (Tim Dearborn, Taste and See, Downers Grove, IL: IVP, 1996, 31)

Indeed, it is the preoccupation with self that leads to the accumulation of attention to self that affects true praying. If everything is about I, Me, Myself, we will be giving leftovers to God. Is this how we treat the One who generously gives His Only Son to die for us? No!

The key to attentive praying is crucially to recognize that it is not about us. It is not about meeting our needs. It is definitely not about breaking the speed record in praying. No one should ever boast of any ability to pray for 1000 people in less than 1 second. Let me put it this way: Inattentive praying is dishonesty before God. In prayer, it is about entering into God's presence with attention.

Praying Attentively
Attentive prayer is one that is done with an attitude of worship. You may find this strange. Isn’t worship about singing songs and giving God glory? Isn’t worship about following a set of Sunday rituals laid out in our Order of Service in Churches? No. Prayer is the glue of worship. Prayer is the full and total attention given to God. It is the honest plea of our heart to ask God to listen to our deepest desires for Him. It is the deepest delight of our heart IN the LORD that God joyfully grants us the desires of our heart FOR God. A good prayer is attentive prayer. Once, Martin Luther wrote a simple prayer guide for his friend and barber. At the heart of this simple guide is the need to cultivate attentiveness to God. In A Simple Way to Pray, Luther writes:

“Thus if anything is to be done well, it requires the full attention of all one’s senses and members, as the proverb says, ‘Pluribus intentus, minor est ad singula sensus’ – ‘He who thinks of many things, thinks of nothing and does nothing right.’ How much more does prayer call for concentration and singleness of heart if it is to be a good prayer!”
(Martin Luther, A Simple Way to Pray, Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2000, p33)

If we are saying grace over meals, I recommend using fewer words, but more attention to God. Simply say with earnest and honesty, “Father, thank you,” with meaning is far more significant than pages of wordy prayers without much understanding or meaningfulness. The key of prayer is not in terms of quantity of words but the quality of attention. This is one reason why I like short prayers. They are easier to remember or memorize. They can be taught without much theological jargon. It does not drain our limited pool of attention span.

One more thing. One way to start cultivating attentive praying is to pray with the Psalms. I have been meditating through the Psalms at my other website (theologyatwork.wordpress.com). It is an attempt to help cultivate attentive praying. Published daily at midnight, it is intentionally short, and allows the reader to meditate on the Psalms. You are welcome to subscribe there with your email address.

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Ps 51:10)

Thought: Prayer is not a matter of being worried about whether God answers it or not. Prayer is learning to trust that God will take care of us and people we love, regardless of our needs.

sabbathwalk

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Words Hurt, Words Heal

Title: Words Can Hurt; Words Can Heal

Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 9 Feb 2010

This week, I am mindful of relationships. I was drawn to Proverbs.

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18)

A story was told about a rabbi, teaching his class about the seriousness of words, especially spoken word. He says that words are likened to an arrow, rather than a sword. One puzzled student asks why. In reply, the rabbi says:

“A man may attempt to kill his friend by removing his sword from the sheath. If the friend pleads for mercy, the man may relent and puts the sword back in the safety of the sheath. However, if an arrow is shot, it cannot be returned. For once it is fired off, its aim is to hurt and perhaps kill.”

Words can hurt. Words can also heal.

Marriage as a Covenant

Covenant Marriage: Remove your 'Rights' Hat; Put On your 'Responsibility' hat
Written by: Conrade Yap
Date: 3 Feb 2010

Last Sunday I spoke in Church about marriage, in particular Christian marriage. I was pleasantly surprised at the numbers that turned out. There were even visitors from outside the Church who came. Several people later came up to me to ask for more of such sessions. The high level of interest about marriage confirms in my mind that marriage, despite its challenges, remains one of the most treasured institutions in church and I dare say, society at large. One can find numerous books about marriage in nearly any library. Preparing for the talk in Church gives me an opportunity to research, learn and consolidate what I know about marriage. This week, I like to share one profound truth about marriage. Marriage is a covenant. This covenant has two parts. Firstly, marriage as a covenant means we remove our 'rights' hat, and secondly, we put on our 'responsibilities' hat.


1) Removing our 'Rights' Hat

This is one of the most profound truths that I have learned. We live in a world where people insist on their right to have things their own way. We have a right to be hired without discrimination of any kind. Citizens have a right to vote. The American Freedom Declaration enshrines the 'pursuit of happiness' as a right of every national. Even criminals when they are arrested need to have their rights read to them. Rights are especially important when it comes to getting things done anywhere. In fact, when we refuse to exercise our rights, sometimes we risk being bullied or ignored. Customer service officials tend to pay more attention to people who protest loudly, rather than people who accept their predicament meekly. Insisting on rights is very much a way of life in our society.If marriage is written as a contract, like many Hollywood movie stars, there is always money and compensation arranged in kind, a so-called prenuptial agreement. The wealthier one gets, the greater the likelihood of such a self-protective agreement.

For the ordinary folk, having lived a whole day in a culture of rights, the moment we return home to our marriages, we invariably carry with us this 'rights' insistence. We bring home such a mindset that we unconsciously and unwittingly apply these 'rights' expectation onto our marriages. The problem is, when a husband insist on his rights, and the wife insist on hers, we have a standoff that strains marriages slowly but surely. Our marriage suddenly becomes more 'contractual' rather than 'covenantal.'

Marriage as a covenant means one does not live for oneself for own's sake. Once, a Regent professor I know, was traveling in Europe with his wife on their 40th anniversary. When a monk living on the mountains knew about it, he said to them: “Mamma Mia! 40 years of martyrdom.” Indeed, this monk realizes the truth of what marriage means. Marriage is a kind of martyrdom that essentially means dying to self.

You may be questioning what kind of a credibility monks have, since they are pledged to celibacy. Let me then remind you that Christian monks are in a sense 'married,' to the cause of Christ. (I am referring to those monks who have pledged their lives to celibacy.) They love the Church and they love the Lord Jesus. They learn to love as Christ loved. Thus, we can learn from these monks, that our love in marriage ought to be like the way Christ loved the Church. 

Marriage as a covenant means we are no longer ourselves. We are in a new relationship. Scriptures have a very special way of describing our marriage state.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Gen 2:24, NIV)

'Becoming one flesh' means we are no longer our own. We belong to the marriage. It is no longer 'my' marriage, but 'our' marriage. When a spouse is celebrating or hurting, both spouses are affected. Becoming one flesh means that we give up our individual rights to be self-satisfied. It is no longer my rights or your rights. Far too many books have been written about marriage techniques, and how to resolve differences. However, very few books talk about recognizing the meaning of dying-to-self when it comes to marriage. I do not mean denying our own personal identity. That is self-debasement, which is non-scriptural, and spits on the very value God has given to each of us. Martyrdom in marriage means voluntarily giving up our rights. Marriage as covenant means we give up the right to insist that our spouse:

• Anticipate all of our needs according to our whims and fancies;
• Behave in a certain way;
• Cater to our moods;
• Do things to our satisfaction;
• Engage us when we want to be engaged.
• ......

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. When we see marriage as a contract, we are insisting on a set of rights. When we see marriage as a covenant, we lay aside our 'rights' so that we can put on another hat, the hat of responsibility. This requires humility, and a willingness to love one another, like Christ.

2) Putting ON the 'Responsibility' Hat

One of the things I shared last Sunday is 'Mind Your Own Verses.' In Paul's epistle to the Ephesians, he writes to wives that they ought to submit themselves to their husbands, as in the LORD (Eph 5:22). It is specifically addressed to wives, and not meant for husbands to use this as ammunition against their wives. Likewise, Paul writes to husbands to love their wives, the same way Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). It is not meant for wives to use the verse in order to hold their husbands to ransom. In a nutshell, the message is “Husbands and wives, mind your own verses.”

The way to do this in marriage is to put on the hat of responsibility. This requires a willing heart, and an intentional mind. Wives need to willingly put on their hat of responsibility. Husbands need to willingly put on their hat of responsibility. Wives need to ask: “What can I do or say to be the best wife I can be?” Husbands need to ask: “What can I do or say to be the best husband to my wife?”

At the same time, wives can also say to themselves:

• “How can I help my husband become the best person he can be?” 
• "If my husband is hurting, how can I play my part at healing?" 
• "Have I prayed for my husband today?"

Husbands too, can say to themselves:

• “How can I help my wife become the best person she can be?”
• "If my wife is hurting, how can I play my part in healing?"
• "Have I prayed for my wife today?"

The hat of responsibility means that each spouse:

• Be responsible to communicate fairly and appropriately;
• Be responsible to be the best husband or wife first;
• Be responsible to correct one another in love;
• Be responsible to control oneself, and not be too eager to correct others;
• Be responsible to fulfill the other persons's needs;
• Be responsible to celebrate joyous occasions;
• Be responsible to protect the partner when the partner is vulnerable.
• the list can go on.....

C) Final Words
A marriage as a covenant has one additional uniqueness. It is done regardless of what the spouse does or does not do. In other words, regardless of how many percent the husband gives to the marriage, the wife will give her 100% always. Likewise, regardless of how many percent the wife gives to the marriage, the husband will give his total commitment of 100%. A marriage seen contractually is never like this. A marriage as a contract means that the moment one party fails to do as promised, the other can freely withhold his or her end of the bargain. Marriage as a covenant is entered into willingly, not forcibly.

My brothers and sisters, especially those who are married, learn to differentiate the hats you wear. When you relate to others, perhaps you need to maintain and keep your hat of 'rights.' However, when you return home to your spouse, remove your hat of 'rights' and put on your hat of 'responsibility.' In marriage, do not talk about your rights. Practice your responsibilities first. For in marriage, we are talking more about responsibilities rather than rights. In marriage, we live and we love not by feelings, but by vows voluntarily and freely made. Live as people of responsibility, not as people insisting on their rights.

Finally, I know many of us are busy people. What if we 'forget' to remove our rights hat? Let me suggest we remember the following, 'Covenant Marriage Bill of Rights' and practice them responsibly.

1. I have the right to encourage you daily. I have the right to build you up, not tear you down.
2. I have the right to affirm you every time you succeed.
3. I have the right to encourage you every time you win or lose.
4. I have the right to comfort you when you hurt.
5. I have the right to protect you when you are attacked.
6. I have the right to pray for you without ceasing.
7. I have the right to defend you from every weapon formed against you.
8. I have the right to esteem and honor you.
9. I have the right to pick you up when you fall.
10. I have the right to speak life to you.
11. I have the right to love you unconditionally.
12. I have the right to respect you in front of others.
13. I have the right to find out your needs and meet them and to diagnose your hurts and heal them.
14. I have the right to serve you at any time.
15. I have the right to ask God to give you wisdom. I have the right to bless you.
    
    [Credit: www.2equal1.com - (http://bit.ly/9q3RvY)]

Thought: Marriage as a covenant means: 'For better or for worse. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health, till death do us part.'

sabbathwalk

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Copyright by SabbathWalk. This devotional is sent to you free of charge. If you feel blessed or ministered to by SabbathWalk weekly devotionals, feel free to forward to friends, or to invite them to subscribe online at http://blog.sabbathwalk.org . You can also send me an email at cyap@sabbathwalk.org for comments or enquiries.

Becoming Good News People First

TITLE: BECOMING GOOD NEWS PEOPLE FIRST
AUTHOR: Conrade Yap
DATE: 26 Jan 2010

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)

A) Which Comes First? Speak the Good News or Live the Good News?

Nanette Sawyer was raised in rural New York. He attends a traditional church which to him, teaches a form of theology that is ‘shame-based.’ Like many churches, the minister there insists that he ‘had to believe’ in order to be a Christian. Despite not understanding what some of the doctrines mean, he decides to consciously make a decision for Christ, in order to be accepted into the Church. While this is a normal thing to do for most people, Sawyer feels that such an approach addresses more of the ‘letter’ rather than the ‘spirit’ of the Christian belief. He never truly understands the meaning of what a Christian means, until he encounters Wicker Park Grace church.

“I started showing up at that church on Sundays. This church was so different from the church of my childhood, because they welcomed me without asking for my Christian ID card, so to speak. They just welcomed me, pure and simple. They preached and lived a message of grace, emphasizing that we are all beloved children of God. Eventually, I was baptized in that church and felt my call to the ministry of Word and Sacrament in that church.” – Nanette Sawyer, Chicago. 

(Eddie Gibbs & Ryan Bolger, Emerging Churches, Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2006, 302)

Sawyer’s story is increasingly common among people who have left traditional churches to discover the grace of God in non-traditional places. From a nominal Christian environment that insists on a ‘Christian ID’ before anything else, he feels a special acceptance by a community of believers who sees the ‘person’ before the ‘profession.’ Such a treatment is liberating for people who feels overly controlled by structure and tradition.

B) First Things First

Lest I be misunderstood, I am not saying that structure and tradition are unimportant or irrelevant for our contemporary age. It is simply that they must not come before the need to care and love people. In fact, traditions and structures are extremely important and are crucial for the church identity, to bear the testimony of Christ for the long haul. The difference is in terms of recognizing the spirit behind the letter. If we are not careful, we can become bearers of the message of Christ, without truly being converted by the Spirit of God. John writes,

“We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

Taking this perspective from John, we cannot truly love another, until we have been loved. With Christ having first loved us, we can then share this love with people around us with grace and humility. If our jug is empty, how can we pour water for the thirsty? If our fridge is bare, how can we prepare food for the hungry? Likewise, if we are not filled with the good news first, empowered by the Holy Spirit, how can we proceed to share the good news with others? In other words, my main point for this week is that we are to be ‘Good News People’ inside before we can learn to share the Good News to people outside. Our external works that demonstrate Christ's love can be more powerful than our human words. It is easy to preach the gospel in words, but it takes a real authentic disciple of Christ to preach the gospel in real life.

C) The Problem of External Facade

Our society places too much premium on the external to the detriment of the internal. Look at the fashion industry. People need to look good on the outside so as to make a good first impression. From interviews to social outings, adding make-up turns an ordinary pauper into an extraordinary prince. Very subtly, it creates in people a kind of thinking that external looks can lead to internal satisfaction. Yet, there are beautiful women who end up in terrible marriages. They are handsome men who attract all the wrong attention. There are successful career people, achieving a lot in the office, but fails miserably at home. External façade may dress up weaknesses for a little while. Like the famous fairy tale, at the stroke of midnight, beautifully dressed Cinderella turns back into a poor girl in ugly clothes. Looking good on the outside does not mean we are automatically good on the inside. Just ask the executives of Enron prior to their financial collapse.

D) Becoming a Good News Person: Journey of Inside-Out Growth

What does it take to be a Good News Christian first before we can share the good news? In other words, how do we live an ‘inside-out’ life as opposed to an ‘outside-in’ culture? Let me propose a three-step grace process. It is easy to embrace Stage #1, not so easy to practice stage #2, even more difficult to live out Stage #3. Look at the graph below. Let me make 3 observations.

Firstly,all of us can receive the grace of God freely without reservation and without conditions. Grace is free of charge, and not tied to any rules and regulations. Grace has no conditions. We need to acknowledge that we are sinners, and no matter what we do, we cannot save ourselves. We need God. We need to be forgiven in Christ. It is because all of us have sinned and fall short of God's glory, we all need the grace of God (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Stage #1: Many receive grace; It is easy to receive grace.

Secondly, we demonstrate our state of being saved by grace, by learning to be gracious to others. There is a strange unbalanced equation going on. The richer a society gets, the less gracious it tends to be. I remember in my mission trip to the rural mountains. People there have very little but they share all they have. On my return home to the city, people have a lot, but are miserly in many ways. I cannot help but think of the New Testament Church whose members share freely and readily with one another in spite of the little they have. We do not need a lot of things in order to be gracious to one another. What we need is a lot of heart. 

There is someone who appears constantly to be in a state of need. All year round, this person will be claiming that the world around her is unfair, and she is constantly helpless. It is easy to accuse her of being overly self-centered. Yet, when I think of God, I remember that all of us are under grace. God alone has such a big heart, that he meets the needs of every single person. God too chooses to show grace to this person, despite the constant complaining and self-centered behaviour. Yet, God has a big heart. Who are we to judge this person?

All of us are needy people. All of us need grace. What we need to be reminded is that having a big heart is more important than having big gifts. Sometimes, rich people can have extremely small hearts. A big heart covers a multitude of suspicions and sins. A big-hearted Christian is what I call a ‘Good-News Person.’ A big-heart Christian understands what grace is all about. A gracious society is only possible if the people have big hearts.

Stage #2: Some people grow. Their growth is evident through gracious living.

My third observation has to do with the most advanced stage of the journey: #3 Sacrificial Love. This final step is perhaps the most difficult step. It is the epitome of what grace means. Living a life of true grace involves humility and at times the call to suffer. 

God led by example. When God gives grace to us, he does not simply command others to do it. He could have ordered angels and celestial beings to do his work. Yet, He chooses to send his Son, Jesus Christ down, at a personal cost and painful loss. Grace according to God is free for us, but very costly for him. Thus, as a Good-News person, while we receive grace freely, and to show graciousness in big-hearted ways, let us remember that true grace may require some element of suffering. A brother in Christ once said about true giving, at a fund-raising seminar, filled with rich and successful people. “Give until it hurts.” Ouch.

It reminds me of the rich young man who asks Jesus what is necessary for eternal life.

Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. (Matthew 19:21-22)

Stage #3: Very few people suffer (or willing to suffer). Sacrificial giving and living is a mark of a true disciple

It is necessary to become a Good News person before we start sharing the Good News. Perhaps, one of the reasons why we find it difficult to speak the gospel, is because we are still unchanged on the inside? The word ‘gospel’ also means good news. This is the essence of what a Christian life means. It must mean something to the person inside before he can share with people outside.

E) Final words

We need to become ‘good-news people’ before we share the good news with others. For all, including young believers, receive the grace of God freely without reservation (Stage #1). As we grow in age and maturity, let our lives be turned into gracious living, to freely share the love of God through our giving, our caring and our loving of one another, even strangers. Grow into God's likeness by being big-hearted with our possessions, putting people before things (Stage #2). Finally, remember that the grace we receive is not free. It costs us nothing but God everything, through his Son Jesus Christ. Thus, in wanting to be good-news people, are we ready to suffer for Christ, when the calling comes (Stage #3)? The choice is up to you. Like the rich young man who turns away from Jesus because he has many possessions, will we follow Christ to give up worldly entanglements, or to follow the world in pursuit of more entitlements? The choice is really yours.

sabbathwalk

“You have to love them first. You can’t serve people whom you can’t love. I’m so emotionally involved with them. I’m in love with them, and it has been only eight months. I pray for them because I love them, That for me is huge! It is something I saw in Mother Teresa. I love them and then serve them, not because it is one of the five purposes of our church either.” – Joe Boyd.

(Gibbs & Bolger, Emerging Churches, 146)

Thought: It is easy to SAY we are Christians, even preach to others to become Christians. It is not so easy to let our lives speak Christianly, that when they see us, they too 'want' to become like Christ.

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